Border Patrol Ordered To Chase Immigrants With Segways And Pool Noodles

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—The Border Patrol has been stripped of their horses, as they seemed to like riding them around and pretending to be Indiana Jones with their reins according to Jen Psaki and Joe Biden. Now, they are being issued fresh equipment: Segways and pool noodles, which will be used to keep unruly immigrants in line as they flood across the Rio Grande.

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Border Patrol Agents Accused Of Patrolling Border

Via The Babylon Bee

DEL RIO, TX—Americans are outraged after whistleblowers produced credible evidence that the U.S. Border Patrol has been patrolling the U.S. border and doing so with impunity for many years.

“How have we allowed our border to be patrolled unchecked for so long?” said AOC on her TikTok channel after viewing harrowing footage of agents on horseback doing their job. “Also, who cut off the horns of those unicorns and put saddles on them? It’s so inhumane! This is actual, literal fascism, people. Just like Hitler and slavery.”

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Video catches two suspected Mexican drug smugglers climbing over border fence in front of Border Patrol agents!

Via Twitchy

Unbelievable.

A news crew in Mexico accidentally captured two suspected Mexican drug smugglers easily scaling the border fence and entering the United States near Nogales, AZ:

Wow! Drug smugglers caught on camera scaling border fence in Nogales during TV report! Full details on at 5!

Watch:

According to this report, the Border Patrol was only “yards away” when the two crossed into America and didn’t do anything. That’s allegedly a Border Patrol vehicle in the top-left frame:

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