Hat tip Boston Bob
Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this…. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
~Cliff Clavin
Alcohol May Be Man’s Worst Enemy
But The Bible Says Love Your Enemy
~ Frank Sinatra
That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink…If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen. – Charles Bukowsk
The liver is evil and must be punished. – Author Unknown
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -Homer Simpson
Write drunk; edit sober. – Ernest Hemingway
I take every day one beer at a time, one beer every sip at a time. – Dennis Leary
Alcohol doesn’t solve your problems…but then, neither does milk. – W.C. Fields
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
~Henny Youngman
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~Sir Winston Churchill
To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
~Homer Simpson
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
~W.C. Fields
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
~Benjamin Franklin
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
~Hunter S. Thompson
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, That’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra
Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
~Author Unknown
