Tag: fat cat

SUMMER THROWBACK: DUMBASS FAT CAT, CRAZY LADY, & SECTION 8 AT THE BEACH

Today we are headed to Wildwood for our annual vacation. The start of summer wouldn’t be complete without a reposting of this TBP classic from 2011.

UPDATE 2020:  Fat Moe’s days at the shore are over. He left for the big litter box in the sky. The Section 8 couple, skinny Mike and Fat Foul Mouthed Joyce broke up when Mike was sent to State Prison for selling heroin in a school zone. She immediately shacked up with a huge black dude who ended up taking her away to Florida.

We sold the condo in January 2019, so no more Section 8 stories. It was an interesting 12 years as a condo owner. Now we’re just renters.

UPDATE 2021: My real estate acumen has been proven once again. We had the condo up for sale for 3 years without a nibble from 2016 through 2018. We finally sold it for $240,000 – an $85,000 loss after 12 years. The condo above ours just sold for $389,000, two years after we sold. At least I got that big tax writeoff.

Update 2022: Condo in my old complex sold for $489,000 in the last few months.

Enjoy

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EPIC START TO MY VACATION

I’m in wonderful Wildwood. The sun is shining and the breeze is blowing. The Section 8 neighbors’ two yappy dogs are barking already. Joyce hasn’t started cursing on the deck yet, so I have that going for me. 25 cent beer night at the Shamrock is only one day away. I left to come down last night after work. As usual, I had to pick up my mother and her fat cat before heading down the shore. She moved to Media, off Baltimore Pike, so my drive would take 20 minutes more than my old drive.

I decided to take Baltimore Avenue through West Philly. The horrific sights could damage me forever. I lost count of the fat teenage black girls pushing baby strollers along the street, with no black men along for the walk. I wonder why. The streets were piled with garbage. The ramshackle buildings that housed check cashing stores and pawn shops were barely inhabitable. There were more boarded up houses than occupied houses. Porches were collapsing due to decades of neglect. The streets were filled with potholes, as the City of Philadelphia doesn’t give a shit about the people living in West Philly. The Democrats will get their votes despite 50 years of creating their poverty. The Free Shit Army continues to shuffle around the streets in their $150 sneakers and talking on their iPhones, because the EBT cards are still being replenished. I wonder what happens to West Philly on the day the free shit stops flowing.

So, I’m within 15 minutes of arriving at my mom’s new apartment and the most epic nasty thunderstorm I’ve ever witnessed struck. I thought my Honda Insight was going to go airborne and I’d run into Dorothy and the Wicked Witch.

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