Nothing like having a dry run for the coming shitstorm. With 50 million free-shitters piling into Wal-Marts across the land stocking up on Cheetos, Twizzlers, Mountain Dew, pork rinds, Slim Jims, ice cream, and cheese whiz on a daily basis, a little computer glitch with the old JP Morgan EBT system threatens to put the obese masses on a forced diet.
There are already reports coming in from across the country about angry free shitters demanding their free shit.
I’m surprised Obama hasn’t already mobilized the military to give out free food in our urban kill zones. I sure hope they get the system operating by Monday morning when I have to venture through West Philly. They might eat my Honda Insight. One week without EBTs functioning and every Democrat controlled shithole in the country would look like this:
Foodstamp Nation In Turmoil: EBT System Goes Dark, “Glitch” Blamed
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 10/12/2013 17:03 -0400
Reports from around the country began pouring in around 9 a.m. on Saturday that customers’ EBT cards were not working in stores. The glitch, however, did not appear to be part of the government shutdown. At 2 p.m., an EBT customer service representative told CBS Boston that the system was currently down for a computer system upgrade.
The representative said the glitch is affecting people nationwide. She could not say when officials expected the system to be restored.
People calling the customer service line were being told to call back later.
State officials said they were preparing a statement to further explain the issue.
The federal EBT website was unavailable due to the government shutdown.
People in Ohio, Michigan and several other states found themselves unable to use their food stamp debit cards on Saturday, after a routine check by vendor Xerox Corp. resulted in a system failure. Shoppers from Maine to Oklahoma had to abandon baskets of groceries because they couldn’t access their benefits.
Ohio’s cash and food assistance card payment systems went down at 11 a.m., said Benjamin Johnson, a spokesman for the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services. Ohio’s cash system has been fixed, however its electronic benefits transfer card system is still down. All states that use Xerox systems are affected by the outage.
Xerox spokeswoman Karen Arena confirmed via email Saturday afternoon that some EBT systems are experiencing temporary connectivity issues. She said technical staff is addressing the issue and expects the system to be restored soon.
As a reminder, this is how many Americans and households were on foodstamps as of the most recent monthly update (hint: a record).
And now, it’s time for the sequel to @MrEBT’s hit masterpiece: “My EBT… has been rejected.”
Xerox Statement on Temporary EBT Systems Outage
During a routine test of our back-up systems Saturday morning, Xerox’s Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) system experienced a temporary shutdown. While the system is now up and running, beneficiaries in the 17 affected states continue to experience connectivity issues to access their benefits. This disruption impacts EBT beneficiaries who rely on the system for SNAP and WIC. Technical staff is addressing the issue and expect the system to be restored soon. Beneficiaries requiring access to their benefits can work with their local retailers who can activate an emergency voucher system where available. We appreciate our clients’ patience while we work through this outage as quickly as possible.
In short: Cue panic, because while the Nasdaq may be down for 3 hours and only a few vacuum tubes would notice, take down EBT, and you will have a full-fledged revolution in no time.