American Idols

Originally posted at Dispatches from Reality, by Scipio Eruditus. dfreality.substack.com


“The similarities between sport fandom and organized religion are striking. Consider the vocabulary associated with both: faith, DEVOTION, worship, ritual, dedication, sacrifice, commitment, spirit, prayer, suffering, festival, and celebration.”

— Daniel Wann, Sports Psychologist


 

Since the earliest days of man, contests of athletic prowess, politics, and religion have been inextricably linked. This relationship goes way beyond surface level comparisons or similarities in linguistic terms. Sporting events — whether it be the Greek Olympics, the Roman Coliseums, or the Mayan ballgame — were not purely for entertainment purposes alone: they served as vital rituals to enforce societal order and cohesion. A ritual is quite simply an ordered process in which specific acts are repeated in a specific manner, whether secular or religious in nature. When rulers held these sporting spectacles, they served not just as a useful distraction, but also as a tacit display of the sovereign’s wealth and power.

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Biden Promises To Replace Retiring Quarterback Tom Brady With A Woman Of Color

Via Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Legendary quarterback Tom Brady has announced his plan to retire from the NFL to spend more time carving little wooden toys for his grandkids. In response to the earth-shattering news, President Joe Biden has announced his commitment to replace the outgoing football star with a woman of color.
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‘Tom Brady … you’re the greatest,’ says mother of young cancer survivor

Submitted by nkit

Via The Tampa Bay Times

Cancer survivor Noah Reeb and his father smile after Bucs quarterback Tom Brady (12) handed him a hat during Sunday's game.

TAMPA — In a stadium with more than 65,000 fans, it would be hard for one person to stick out. Let alone, a school-aged boy with a Tom Brady jersey on his back and a Bucs cap that didn’t quite cover the scar that could be traced from the back of his head to the top of his neck.

But sitting with his father in the lower level of Raymond James Stadium behind the Buccaneers bench where the wide receivers usually congregate, Noah Reeb had a plan.

A colorful sign — TOM BRADY HELPED ME BEAT BRAIN CANCER — and the kind of perseverance only a true survivor understands. Not to mention, a kindly woman who lifted Noah up so his sign stood out among the sea of other fans and spectators.

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N.F.L. Sentences Brady to a Year with the Jets

Guest Post by Andy Borowitz

Credit Photograph by Jim Davis/The Boston Globe/Getty

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. (The Borowitz Report) – In what football insiders are calling an unexpectedly severe punishment, the National Football League has sentenced the New England Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady to a year with the New York Jets for his role in the so-called Deflategate scandal.

The punishment drew howls of protest from Patriots fans and management, with many calling it the harshest in league history, but N.F.L. Commissioner Roger Goodell defended the decision as “a necessary deterrent.”

“We need to send the message that this league has zero tolerance for cheating,” Goodell said. “We believe that a year of playing quarterback for the Jets sends that message loud and clear.”

Brady was reportedly in a state of shock when he heard the news of his punishment. He later met with reporters in a hastily called press conference during which he frequently seemed on the verge of tears.

“I am going to fight this decision with every fibre of my being,” Brady said. “This is America. You can’t force a person to play for the Jets.”

At a sports bar in Manhattan, the reaction to the impending arrival of the Jets’ longtime nemesis was muted. One Jets fan observed, “Look, Brady’s a dick, but even he didn’t deserve this.”

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