WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

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Something just seems a tad off with the Firefly family from House of a 1,000 Corpses here. Perhaps it’s the cute pink bunny, perhaps not. But something just seems not quite right.

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Fun fact: The baby at issue in Roe v. Wade was actually born a few months into trial and was about 3 years old when the decision came down from the Supreme Court….I’m sure that was a fun convo! Roe also had 3 more kids. Okay, now have fun yelling at each other about abortion. I’m leaving.

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If you look at it as an ass wearing a fancy hat it looks better than a skirt that’s too short. The beauty of perspective everybody.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

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No shit Sherlock. Did you think I was under the impression that those sad single mothers I throw dollar bills at somehow get pregnant via immaculate conception? Come on man, I’m not stupid, I can see the c-section scars.

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You may wanna lock your bedroom doors when this Santa comes in your home at night….don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Knowing my luck this is the type of princess I’d end up finding after a daring rescue attempt.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

Ok buddy, you almost had me completely fooled with this whole “mountain man coming out from the wilderness” thing you got going on until I noticed you were wearing tennis shoes. What kind of wild man wears K-Swiss? Really disappointed you didn’t make the full effort and even more disappointed you tried to pull a fast one by me this early in the morning.

On a scale of 1 to awesome, I rate that mustache a fantasia! Now give me some more pills.

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Who purposefully goes out, puts forth all the effort in getting rid of their natural eyebrows and then draws on a uni-brow? That’s like hating your natural hair, shaving it off and buying a bright pink mullet wig. The Anthony Davis look is not in girlfriend and it never will be.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

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Guess you could say she is a bit…strung out. Right? Get it? Lots of string like things on her. Ya know? Ehh whatever, take it or leave it.

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I’m not a doctor but I don’t think that’s where your heart is. Also, it’s not really shaped like that and I’m guessing those are both your hands. You’ve officially ruined my Valentine’s Day.

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You know how when someone sees an old unkempt single lady and refers to them as a “crazy cat lady”? It’s because unfortunately they actually exist!

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

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I’m sure this dude is still pickin’ up mad hunnies in that ride, but if you’re not gonna put 20″ spinners on the thing then why bother? Am I right or am I right?

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Not very appropriate, but I can definitely think of like a million worse ways to go out.

Unless you are a model or European, don’t wear a Speedo. In fact, I’m pretty sure Europeans even know they look stupid in Speedos but they wear them anyway just because they have bought into their own stereotype. Anyway, I digress. The point here is you have a tiny package and nobody wants to see it.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

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Ahh yes, #3 in the pervert playbook: The Upskirt! So which under booty bottom biscuit would you put on the books?

WHAT?!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS AWESOMENESS! Is this photoshopped or something? There is no way hair can be THAT awesome. I mean a mullet-mowhak-ponytail hybrid…that’s sweetness on a biblical level.

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It’s like the 2016 version of A Christmas Story. Can’t wait for the Fire Department to come and pull his tongue off the Haagen-Dazs.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

lotto winner

Here’s Sally, she likes long walks on the beach, holdin her clutch purse, and itchin crotch in isle 5. Let’s hope she’s not using one of those pizza makers to the left for dinner later.

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Well it’s officially 2021 people and I have yet to see a flying car and haven’t heard of anyone losing their job to a robot. It appears that people are still wearing sh*t that they probably shouldn’t out in public, so that should bode well for a great year for PoWM!

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Yeah sure, Monica Lewinski gets grief for sleeping with the President, but I’m guessing this one here gets a pass.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

Pffft, who needs the Olympics in London? Here in Murrica our summer games are the Beer Olympics and this guy is the Michael Phelps of rockin’ out!

Remember everyone, life is a garden; dig it…then cover it in horse manure and hope it looks better next season.

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We are here to prove the correlation between tighty whiteys and plumber’s crack. BOOM!

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ARE WE REALLY GOING TO BUILD BACK BETTER AFTER A DARK WINTER?

“It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. That there is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

With all the talk about dark winters from Biden, Harris, Fauci, tyrannical Democrat governors, pandemic hysteria medical “experts”, and the corporate media paid to propagate the vital narrative, my mind was naturally drawn to the words of J.R.R. Tolkien and his Lord of the Rings trilogy. It is a story of good versus evil, with a foreboding mood of darkness and doom.

To those of us of a conspiratorial nature, according to those who conspired to overthrow a duly elected president for four years and are currently conspiring to steal the presidency through blatant election rigging and mail-in ballot fraud, we believe the darkness engulfing our nation has been initiated by the billionaire globalist evildoers marshaling dark forces in their Mordor on the Potomac.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

Walmart Mask

Meet Jill, she lives in Arkansas and she proudly frequents Store #1 several times a week. She ran out of masks, but decided that instead of boiling noodles that day she’d wear the lid to her cooker instead. She frollicked to store #1, argued with the greeter that this was proper ppe. Won. Grabbed her cigarettes and santa panties, did the self checkout and left. Don’t be Jill.

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Kinda looking like you’re trying to stuff 10 pounds of mashed potatoes into a 5 pound bag.

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Girl went for that quadruple scoop of chocolate ice cream….or someone went dookie on her head.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

Lines PolkaDots Rainbows Oh My

In a hurry? Throw everything in sight ON. Got polkadots and beetlejuice pants? Put em on! Have a Bill Cosby hoody? Put that thing ON! When there is a sale at Walmart, you get serious and turn it on when needed. Did anyone notice the shoes he’s rockin?

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Lady, if we got paid based on how ugly we are, I’d be a millionaire by now. Welcome to America where you get money for being hot, not the other way around.

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Check out DJ Rollback on the one’s and two’s! I wonder if he is spinning the PoWM rap?

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TIME TO HEEL – OR FIGHT

In Part 1 of this article I discussed how our country has devolved from Huxley’s Brave New World of distraction and irrelevancy into Orwell’s world of Big Brother surveillance and Solzhenitsyn’s Gulag Archipelago. Now I will make the case for joining the fight against the Great Reset.

Now is the time for a 'great reset' of capitalism | World Economic Forum

As more than half the country sleep-walks into the clutches of Marxism and tyranny, they fail to heed the wisdom of those who experienced the cruelty, oppression, and degradation after a similar revolution in the last century.

“A revolution never brings prosperity to a nation, but benefits only a few shameless opportunists, while to the country as a whole it heralds countless deaths, widespread impoverishment, and, in the gravest cases, a long-lasting degeneration of the people.”Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Dangerous Chuck Schumer: Now We Take Georgia then We Change the World! – Shore News Network

Schumer’s slip of the tongue about changing the world and then putting on his mask (to push the masks work narrative) and declaring he will change the country when they win the two Georgia Senate seats reveals the global nature of this ongoing coup attempt by the global elites and the Deep State. I was highly suspicious of the engineered hysteria for this China flu back in March when I wrote P for Pandemic and stand by my conclusions reached nine months ago:

“As this incomprehensible national shutdown extends into April, tens of thousands of small businesses will be forced to close their doors for good. Local restaurants, hair salons, delis, hardware stores, and thousands of other small businesses will be involuntarily shuttered for good.

The national chains will collect their government largess, produce PR campaigns to pat themselves on the back, and abscond with the profits of the now deceased small businesses. The corporate fascists will become ever more powerful. Why are we letting this happen?”

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

Hottest Toy For Christmas 2020

Walmart Express

Move over Little Engine that could, and hey Chuggington there is no room for you in this space. They don’t have 4 wheel drive, but there are 16 wheels in total, along with 4 social security cards, and 2 cartons of cigs, with a side of chew.

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Check out Mad Max: Lonely Road. Seriously dude, you must be huffing way too much of that silver dust if you think you’ll pull any tail in that ride.

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WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

1767MD

C’mon girl, picking up a good man is easy. I’ll show you. Whatchu need to do is put on some tight ass jeans and then get your best booty-flossin’ thong and pull it up over dem jeans to show off the money maker! The boys will just look but the real men won’t be able to take their hands off you!

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I’ve heard of head over heels but not heels over head.

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I can’t determine if I’m being back mooned or checking out back cleavage. Either way I don’t like it.

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