I SURVIVED THE 9/12 TERRORIST ATTACKS. DID YOU?

Once Janet Nepalatano, the Queen of DHS, announced a credible terrorist threat, I knew I had to jump into action. The threat level was clearly elevated. We had reached Elmo Red threat level.

And then when our resident TBP terrorist threat analyst declared unequivically that September 12th would be the day of a devastating terrorist attack on our country, I was sure I had to make a run for it. You had to take this guy seriously. He’s a Boomer and has never been wrong in his entire life.

I was sure there were hundreds of suitcase nukes planted all over the country. I envisioned mushroom clouds across the land. The horror!!!

So, I jumped in my car and high tailed it to my Wildwood condo last night after work.

I had thought this through. Muslims hate water. They also would be kept away by the chocolate covered bacon sold on the boardwalk. Plus, think of the bad publicity they would get if they blew up my Section 8 black neighbors. My plan was foolproof.

I didn’t really go down to my condo to clean it before my next tenant goes in. I wasn’t down on my hands and knees in the bathroom cleaning pubic hairs off the floor, I was cowering in fear from the Muslim menace that lurks behind every bush.

It was a fearful evening, as our TBP analyst was sure of the imminent attack. But, then the clock ticked 8:00 pm and all was well. The GOP Presidential Debate came on CNN and all my fear and worry dissipated. What a fine group of patriots. And the Tea Party crowd at the debate was wonderful. They must have all had Mensa level IQs. Our country is in great hands with these men and women at the helm.

I think a ticket of Gingrich/Santorum would do wonders for our country. Behind the mantle of Jesus Christ and American Exceptionalism, this tandem would put an end to this pussy footing around and take out Iran, North Korea, Syria and any other ragheads that act up. Newt rightfully pointed out that tripling war spending in the last ten years is disgraceful. We should have quintupled it. Think of the jobs. The deficits wouldn’t exist because we could have plundered the riches of all the countries we would have invaded. With Jesus on our side any torture or collateral damage caused by our drones and cruise missiles is justified.

I can’t understand how Santorum lost his PA Senate seat by 16%. Maybe it is the foaming at the mouth issue he has when he addresses Ron Paul.

It is shocking to me that if you add up Gingrich’s and Santorum’s support in the polls, you get a number lower than a snake’s ass. The Fox News Tea Party is out for blood. They are itching for a good old fashion Christian/Muslim Armageddon showdown. But don’t cut their Medicare or Social Security.

Rick Perry was under blistering attack during the debate. In my opinion, he deflected it pretty well. He has essentially stolen most of Ron Paul’s hot button issues. He has called Bernanke treasonous, declared he is for sound money, called Social Security a ponzi scheme, and actually said we need to bring the troops home from Afghanistan. His low taxes, more jobs Texas story is connecting with the Republican base. He has somehow been able to hide his religious fundamentalist extremism, just as GWB did in 2000.

Southerners will never get behind Romney. He is considered a smooth talking Yankee Mormon. Perry will win the Republican nomination.

There are only a few states actually in play in the general election. Nevada, Florida, and Ohio have some of the worst economic problems in the country. People vote their pocketbook. If two of these states go Perry’s way, he wins in 2012. I expect the economic situation to worsen across the board between now and November 2012. Perry may win in a landslide. The Grey Champion of the Fourth Turning has arrived on stage.

When I departed Wildwood this morning at 5:45 am for my almost two hour trek to work, I turned on the radio to listen to the reports of the terrorist attacks. I was SHOCKED to hear that none had taken place. I’m sure we owe it to the 50,000 noble warriors at DHS that foiled the Muslim terrorists. Remember, turn in anyone that doesn’t look like you. It’s the American way.

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bluestem
bluestem
September 13, 2011 9:27 am

I saw M. Bachman on TV this morning and she looked pretty tired. I see something and I say something. John

Amos Turtle
Amos Turtle
September 13, 2011 9:32 am

Who cares? Have another cup of coffee and enjoy the ride.

Thinker
Thinker
September 13, 2011 9:56 am

Here’s something to cheer you up, Jim: History Repeating

Little jazz in the morning does a body good.

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 10:08 am

Bravo. Excellent article.

Unfortunately, Newt doesn’t win in 2012.

Neither does Paul.

Neither does Perry.

Obama will win another term.

And then, the only question that will remain is—how will they do it?

How will the legion of Fourth Turning believers spin the election? They will be in an EXTREMELY tough spot. Their credibility will be out the door. No Fourth Turning messiah, as per the fairy tale.
And they will full well know that this country will fall before another person has a chance to be elected president.

AHA!!!! I have figured it out. The believers will alter their story to say that the messiah IS Obama, and it was him all along. And then they will say that Strauss and Howe had forecast it perfectly in their book (novel).

RPES

PS—I have received updated neocon intelligence that the attack date was slightly modified to include the entire month of September. The location is still DC.

Thinker
Thinker
September 13, 2011 10:21 am

Smokey, the Fourth Turning doesn’t say that there’s a “4T Messiah.” It says that elections **CAN** be a catalyst in a 4T (as Lincoln’s election was), but not that the president is the person who solves the Crisis. It’s about societal reactions to events, not who’s leading it.

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 11:17 am

Thinker,

The 4T is a vacuous theory. It is specious. It takes some anomalies and attempts to give them legitimacy.

For instance, it was stated very recently on this board that there were “surpluses as far as the eye could see “, right up until the moment the USA got hit on 9/11.

ANY thinking person has no choice but to conclude that the 9/11 attacks RADICALLY ALTERED this county’s destiny by probably a decade, at least.

THE 9/11 ATTACKS STUCK A DICK INTO ANY 20 YEAR CYCLE PREDICTION

Are you saying that the 4Turning predicted 9/11?

Because 9/11 RADICALLY altered the history of this country.

So without the USA getting hit, you and all the other travelers would be scrambling frantically to modify the time elements of your bogus theory so that it would fit the reality of real life events.

Regarding the alleged messiah, it has been repeatedly stated here that a messiah steps fourth in the Fourth Turning.

Does your fourth turning apply to other countries too? If not, why is it unique to this culture?

Thinker
Thinker
September 13, 2011 11:29 am

Smokey,

Again, it’s societal response to the catalyst event that signals a 4T. The response to 9/11 was very 3T — it was not the beginning of the Crisis.

Regarding your question, if you read Strauss & Howe, you’ll see that they’ve been able to map the Turning cycle back to most modern, Western Civilizations. Other scholars have noted that Asian cultures are on their own, repeating cycles, but that they differ from the cycles noted in Fourth Turning. Their societies are different and, therefore, have different responses and different timelines. And yes, even Europe is on a slightly skewed timeframe than the U.S. is.

It’s all there, if you care to look. Unless you’re just in it for the provocation, as Jim believes.

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 12:01 pm

Thinker,

Did Strauss and Howe map the Turning cycle back to Canada, Mexico, Cuba, Greenland, Brazil, Argentina, Columbia, Ecuador, Venezuela, Chile, Panama, Peru ?—-these are Western Civilizations.

Do those countries each have their own 4T, or are they part of ours?

Or do they get a pass, because they don’t fit the Theory?

Regarding a SOCIETAL RESPONSE to a catalyst event, the 4T theory is taking ARBITRARILY any event and calling it after the fact the catalyst event.

I’m curious as to what Strauss and Howe claim is the catalyst event for this 4T. Have they named it, or will they wait and then decide what it was after things unwind?

History proves that great nations rise and fall like the tides come in and out.

But, as far as predictable eighty year cycles that Strauss and Howe have ingeniously discovered through dedication and hard work I’m not buying it.

Did S & H indicate how long these 80 yr cycles continue, or does this country continue the 4T cycles for eternity?

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 12:07 pm

True, I haven’t read the book.

But I’ve read enough on Wiki and other net sites to know it’s a crock.

Incidentally, I have NOT seen the Theory motherfucked anywhere. Just by me.

4T = Rorschach Inkblot test.

Thinker
Thinker
September 13, 2011 12:09 pm

Yeah, you really need to read the book. It would make all those questions quite clear. S&H are the first ones to admit it’s not a perfect theory. But you’d definitely understand that if you looked into it.

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 12:15 pm

Doing some research on the 4T.

While the 4th Turning doesn’t make predictions, it does provide for four possible outcomes. They are;

==========================================
1.—- This 4thT COULD MARK THE END OF MAN.

It could be an omnicidal Armageddon, destroying everything, leaving nothing. If mankind ever extinguishes itself, this will probably happen when its dominant civilization triggers a Fourth Turning that ends horribly. For this Fourth Turning to put an end to all this would require an extremely unlikely blend of social disaster, human malevolence, technological perfection and bad luck.

.
2. —- This 4thT COULD MARK THE END OF MODERNITY.

The Western saecular rythm – which began in the mid-fifteenth century with the Renaissance – could come to an abrupt terminus. The seventh modern saeculum would be the last. This too could come from total war, terrible but not final. There could be a complete collapse of science, culture, politics, and society. Such a dire result would probably happen only when a dominant nation (like today’s America) lets a Fourth Turning ekpyrosis engulf the planet. But this outcome is well within the reach of foreseeable technology and malevolence.

.
3. —- This 4THt COULD SPARE MODERNITY BUT MARK THE END OF OUR NATION.

It could close the book on the political constitution, popular culture, and moral standing that the word America has come to signify. The nation has endured for three saecula; Rome lasted twelve, the Soviet Union only one. Fourth Turnings are critical thresholds for national survival. Each of the last three American Crises produced moments of extreme danger: In the Revolution, the very birth of the republic hung by a thread in more than one battle. In the Civil War, the union barely survived a four-year slaughter that in its own time was regarded as the most lethal war in history. In World War II, the nation destroyed an enemy of democracy that for a time was winning; had the enemy won, America might have itself been destroyed. In all likelihood, the next Crisis will present the nation with a threat and a consequence on a similar scale.

.
4. —- This 4thT COULD SIMPLY MARK THE END OF THE MILLENIAL SAECULUM.

Mankind, modernity, and America would all persevere. Afterward, there would be a new mood, a new High, and a new saeculum. America would be reborn. But, reborn, it would not be the same

==========================================

Well, that pretty much covers every possible option. So, when a person (like, Smokey) criticizes some aspect of the 4thT I wonder how that’s possible when S&H provide for all outcomes.

Therefore, Strauss & Howe have no idea how this will end … they never even attempt to make such a claim. Again, they do NOT make predictions!

All they are doing is showing that history is cyclical, or has patterns that repeat. One can argue the minutae of when one cycle starts, what caused it, etc. …. but to actually deny that there are cycles to human activity (history) seems incredibly short sighted to me.

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 12:16 pm

Thanks Thinker. Your composure and civility is admirable.

Remind me to look elsewhere in the future for a firefight.

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 12:20 pm

***ALERT *** !!

Smokey will probably accuse me of planting my lips around Admin’s cock.

I once made the same mistake … criticizing S&H for making predicitions. Admin set me straight. Now I see the light.

THIS is why I am The Judge … and a damn good one at that.

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 12:23 pm

“All they are doing is showing that history is cyclical, or has patterns that repeat.”

You need a book to tell you that?

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 12:32 pm

Smokey, when you try to summarize a book in one sentence you could ask, “You need a book to tell you that?” about ANY book.

You are just stirring shit.

When Smokey looks in a mirror: Fact or Fantasy?
[imgcomment image[/img]

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 12:44 pm

Back to the originial article.

The map has New Jersey as a blue state.That normally seems like a very safe bet, but this time around I’m not so sure about that.

Ms Freud and most of her freinds, and mine, voted Obama. But, most of those people can’t stand Obama anymore. I would guess that 80% of our Obama friends will not vote for Obama again, or not vote at all. Of course, we are not part of the FSA–New Jersey Division, of which there are Legion. Still, I wouldn’t write off NJ as a blue-state just yet.

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 12:52 pm

“A firm rule must be imposed upon our nation before it destroys itself. The United States needs some theology and geometry, some taste and decency. I suspect that we are teetering on the edge of the abyss.”

Ignatius J. Reilly

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 12:57 pm

Jim, my GUESS is that given that choice they won’t vote at all.

A handful of our friends have actually come around to say Ron Paul is an interesting candidate. They think the rest of the Repubs are a collection of stinky dogshit. To which I agree.

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 1:00 pm

Well, I’m already up to 3 thumbs down on my 4thT post. What did I say wrong, Jim? You know if I get my feelings hurt, I’m outta here.

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 1:08 pm

Administrator,

“….Boomers will be Boomers. Always sure of themselves, but wrong most of the time.”

If you are going to plagiarize my one-liners, I’d appreciate if you didn’t fuck them up.

The CORRECT line is: “…..Boomers will be Boomers. Frequently wrong, but never in doubt.”

Write it down, so the next time you plagiarize it, it will be an accurate rendition.

AWD
AWD
September 13, 2011 1:13 pm

How to protect yourself from a terrorist attack:

[imgcomment image[/img]

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 1:19 pm

Now you might understand why I am so often filled with the Holy Spirit.

AWD
AWD
September 13, 2011 1:24 pm

Stuck:

Keep posting that kind of thing, and your thumbs-up ratio will skyrocket…

Colma Rising
Colma Rising
September 13, 2011 2:17 pm

We shouldn’t pull the plug on the Boomers…

Better yet, we should round them all up and like the great Pharoahs of old, utilize their numbers to erect gargantuan, timeless statues of Strauss and Howe in every major metropolis…

Colma Rising
Colma Rising
September 13, 2011 2:20 pm

If they refuse, just mix them in with the mortar…

Muck About
Muck About
September 13, 2011 2:49 pm

Admins is still not over the pasting he got the other day – he’s got to throw in out of context barbs just to try and regain some self esteem! Ha!

Stucky, I wouldn’t have minded having that one for a teacher – the ones I had (before escaping their clutches forever) were all scrawny, old, ugly and several didn’t smell very good either.

MA

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 4:23 pm

The current director of the CIA, General David Petraeus commented publicly TODAY that his concern over a 9/11 anniversary attack is NOT restricted to the day of September 11, 2011.

He said his concern has always been that an anniversary attack would occur within the general time of September 11, INCLUDING the rest of this September.

Petraeus, for those of you unfamiliar, is the one that handled the SURGE in Iraq, that so many said would fail. Of course, it did not fail, no matter how bad you want to believe otherwise. Poll the American people, and at least 95% will admit the surge worked.

My question is: When we get hit, will you curs INSTANTLY chalk it up to your favorite word, BLOWBACK? After all, according to Ron Paul, 9/11 2001 was blowback.

Incidentally, he got his cur ass humiliated and loudly booed last night when Rick Santorum told the viewing audience about Paul’s home web page and how it blames America for 9/11.

What say you, curs?

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 4:49 pm

“mumbo jumbo, big words, more mumbo jumbo”—–Strauss and Howe

“saeculum, yadda, yadda, spirit of America, yadda, yadda, Golden Age,”—-Strauss and Howe

“ekpyrosis, mumbo jumbo, apocalypse, yadda, yadda, more big words”—Strauss and Howe

William Strauss to Neil Howe after the first draft:

“Do you think we can find a publisher stupid enough to fall for this? ”

Neil responds, “You aren’t serious about trying to get someone to actually believe this shit?”

William fires back, “And why not? ”

Neil counters, “Because it is shit, that’s why.”

William stands firm, “That has nothing to do with it. You know it’s shit and I know it’s shit, but there are many editors that won’t know it’s shit and millions of potential readers are foolish enough to buy it if it’s published.”

Neil finally caves, “Well, it never occurred to me to try to get something this utterly vapid published. We both know that we made the shit up as we went along. But, hey, if you think it will fly, if you think people are this gullible, then count me in.”

“Earth to Neil. They published “Dow 36,000″ a few years ago and look how many fools bought it. And Speaker Pelosi’s seminal work on government. Trust me, we’ll both be up for Pulitzers by the time this thing runs it’s course.”

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 5:08 pm

What books have you published, Smokey? I’d like to do a comparison.

SSS
SSS
September 13, 2011 5:09 pm

Re Electoral College map. Obama won North Carolina by a stinking 14,000 votes out of 4.3 million cast. It will go Republican in 2012, as will Virginia, where Obama won by 230,000 votes. Loudon and Prince William counties will swing back solidly into the Republican column, and so will the city of Virginia Beach. Virginia goes red.

Aw, fuck it. No one takes me seriously anyway, so here.

[img]http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTvPq0o9hs0-2gRNoXcW-UdKzhWo7ReU8VdDuQDENQ7eyXPcr7H[/img]

Smokey
Smokey
September 13, 2011 5:16 pm

Stuck,

If I ever decide to write a book for publication, it won’t be a fiction like the Fourth Turning novel.

It would be something with significant intrinsic value, like “A Biography of Richard Cheney–An American Hero”.

Stucky
Stucky
September 13, 2011 5:20 pm

“A Biography of Richard Cheney–An American Hero”.

But … but … you just said you would NOT write fiction?!!

llpoh
llpoh
September 13, 2011 5:34 pm

After the ass-kickings Admin has received the last couple of days, he decides to try more volume of posts in an attempt to drown distractors in static. Doesn’t look to be working.

Good thing for him I have no interest in 4th turning. I side with Smokey re his mumbo jumbo perspective a little bit, but not enough to send the Admin scurrying to the nearest crack like a startled cockroach. The asswhupping I laid on yesterday must still be stinging him.

SSS
SSS
September 13, 2011 5:35 pm

Admin

Great photo of Smokey, llpoh, and me as little boys. Here’s what I look like today.

[imgcomment image[/img]

llpoh
llpoh
September 13, 2011 5:36 pm

I also think it more than even steven Obammy gets re-elected (excuse me while I puke). But it never pays to underestimate the stupidity of the American people in these matters.

SandyEggo
SandyEggo
September 13, 2011 5:50 pm

AWD:

I couldn’t agree more— A Confederacy of Dunces is indeed the most outrageously funny book of all time. For those of you who haven’t read it yet, you are CHEATING yourself. If you have an IQ above room temp and appreciate high, artful humor, this book is it!