This week’s revelation that the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill inflated grades for thousands of athletes has shed light on the advantages that many college sports stars are given over other students. Here are some of the benefits and perks that student-athletes receive at colleges around the nation:
- Athlete mentorship programs that pair freshmen with older student-athletes who already have experience getting out of sexual assault charges
- Unlimited access to academic support services they have no reason to use
- At many Division I schools, personal tutors are assigned to each student-athlete to supply them with free urine samples
- Early registration times allow scholar-athletes to enroll in the most in-demand fluff courses
- At Ohio State, athletes receive complimentary transportation to and from crime scenes
- An equitable percentage of the billions of dollars of revenue generated by collegiate athletics
- Little bit of exercise
- At the United States Military Academy, all student-athletes are offered guaranteed employment after graduation
- It is a privilege every time a University of Georgia football player puts on a jersey to represent those colors on the gridiron
- The possibility that, after four years of hard work and sacrifice, they might have the opportunity to be cut by the Jacksonville Jaguars during the second week of training camp
- Athletes at the University of Pennsylvania are granted unlimited access to the school’s private collection of Benjamin Franklin quotes
- A few athletic programs across the country allow athletes to attend lectures and complete course assignments, usually resulting in a college degree
This is NEWS??
This is The Onion.
Afaletes.
I graduated from Penn State in 1971. At that time, I didn’t think it was that great. However, it’s gotten worse, much worse in the last 40 years. Seems like most of the student body has been heavily directed into worshiping sports. Well Penn State literally got it in the ass with Sandusky. Couldn’t happen to a nicer school.
Admin, I KNOW it’s the Onion.
But it’s the goddam truth and has been for my entire life. I love the way the Onion manages to create humor that is so dead-on that it might as well be a news article.
For as long as I can remember, colleges have lavished awards on athletes, ranging from grade inflation to special housing to under-the-table cash, and top high school athletes and their parents have been plied not only with scholarships, but with cars, lavish condos, and even cash by aggressive college recruiters seeking the best athletes.
It goes on at the high school level, too, where top athletic performers benefit from grade inflation and are given passes for behaviors that would get any other student suspended, expelled, or impounded in a juvenile lockup. In my high school, coaches and administrators bullied and intimidated recalcitrant teachers into awarding a “C” grade at least, to boys who would have flunked out of high school were it not for their athletic abilities. I have a vivid memory of watching a math teacher being backed up against the wall by the football coach and basketball coach, who were teaming up to induce him to give the C grade required for participation in varsity athletics, to a very dim-witted boy who was the star basketball player on our team- we didn’t have many boys anywhere near this kid’s height of 6’6″.
I’m not surprised at all. I’m more surprised that everyone is surprised. You cannot see the way many of these guys behave/talk and still believe they had an education, and if they did, the bar is pretty low. I’m glad it came out. At least nobody will say that you’re being prejudiced if you mention it now. In a different world it may help change something, but given the money involved and politics, no chance.