The is a REAL item. I added it to my “Future Purchases” tab. I think I want one.
Initial Cost —– $113,000
.
Features;
— three-compartment compound
— upper deck with escape hatch
— barbed wire
— a garden section to grow food
— toilet system
— weight machines
— kitchen with microwave
— a record player (zombies hate analog)
— Xbox with Plasma TV
— 10-year anti-zombie guarantee
Addition Options:
— Solar panels
— Security cameras
— Water cannons
— Spotlights
— Riot Protection Outfit
— Machine Guns
— Flame throwers
I want one .
Flame thrower would be nice addition.
Well good luck
Took me about two seconds to figure out its major flaw and how to drive your ass out of there, the thing is made of wood. A couple of Molotov cocktails and you’ll be leaving shortly.
How utterly CHARMING (sarc.)
As it happens, I’m fascinated with tiny houses, and am toying with the idea of building myself one, big enough for me and perhaps one other people, in a little enclave surrounded by same, for the sake of reducing my expenses and increasing my resilience by living much smaller and on a more basic level. But frame construction is WAY down the list of features I would want.
My ideal is stone. I’m researching small owner-built stone houses, for something built of small stones that most people could handle, and that a small crew could build relatively quickly. It should be near a good fresh water supply, and the property should have space for a garden, rain barrels and maybe a little greenhouse It should have a stone larder for food storage, a sleeping loft over an all-purpose room where I could either cook with my 120 volt induction hot plate and a toaster oven if the power flowed, or a Coleman Stove, solar cooker, or outdoor grill if it was not. I consider natural stone to be the finest building material in the world. It insulates beautifully, stays cool in the hottest summers, and when the house settles, “moves” with the settling instead of cracking like brick, concrete blocks, or concrete. It is fire resistant, a major point with me. And it is very beautiful and durable.
If you are paranoid and think in terms of fending off “zombie hordes”, a stone-walled stockade with little stone houses within would be the best defense, not a little frame “compound” by its lonesome.
Oops, I meant a couple of other people. Or one other person. It’s late and I’m tired.
This thing reminds me of when Marie Antoinette and her friends cavorted around in a fakey village in the gardens at the Palace at Versailles to pretend/play at being peasants.
**cue eyeball rolling**
#1) What genius thinks that a flamethrower mounted on the roof of a freaking WOOD buidling is a good idea?
#2) That garden space is good for about 1 week of food, which I doubt will grow because there isn’t enough full sunlight to grow anthing.
#3) There is no way you are going to run a all those electric gizmos – microwave + plasma TV + Xbox + lights + stereo system – with freaking solar panels. Hahahaha! If you want to have AC or fans or a washingmachine/dryer, you are going to need a 30 kW generator and tanks of gas/propane. Which I do not see in the plans here.
#4) Where is the 20,000 gallon water tank? Where is the grey/black water going?
#5) After you kill all the zombies around your place, where is the tractor to drag off all the bodies? Sheeit, there isn’t even a freaking wheelbarrow here.
#6) A true Zombie Bunker should have every available inch dedicated to storage of food/water/ammo/fuel. You can’t store so much as a toothpick in here.
#7) The basic design sucks. Why have 3 separate compartments? You just need one giant space with a secure perimeter. And why so many windows, some of them on the ground floor?
I give this the Official HZK Epic Fail Award.
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When you die, you get this tiny little house decked out with all the accoutrements. Reminds me of a song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8uas9aYswis
Mi casa nueva (My new home) by Lalo Mora
I wrote a letter that you never answerd
I went to find you and you have new address
since I have a few things I want to tell you
you force me to sing you this song
I left my home just to be with you
then you paid me like the kind who never pay
it’s all your fault I’m livng where I live now
and this new life I can’t abide
sometimes I cry a little close to the wine botles
especially wheneer I think of you
if i’ts the dawn you can’t see the stars
then it gets dark and they don’t shine for me.
a music box and two girl friends are with me
my new house is not like all the rest
it has a color signup in the window
and a cheap slut is now taking your place
Get some shipping containers and you could come up with something similar, except made of steel. It wouldn’t be aesthetically pleasing, certainly not as nice as Chicago’s stone house, but if there is a real need to fend of a zombie horde, how it looks is pretty far down the list.
The Zombies around here would be all up in that cabin in about 2.2 seconds. We built a cabin in the middle of BFE freakin nowhere about 8 years ago. As I posted yesterday I have property in the Commonwealth of KY. Zombies would never make it to the front porch. If they did they would be in serious pain. Zombie cabins are a good thing, totally support this 100%. My cabin is log and stone and I think it would hold up to a Zombie uprising.
I have a much better design over on the Diner utilizing Conex (metal, fireproof) and rail systems.
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The Conex roll in and out on tracks, so when not under attack by Zombies you have a much larger central area for your gardening, chickens, worm farm etc.
When Zombies are sighted by the Eye in the Sky Weather Balloon, you roll in the Conex to create a Castle Wall andf repel the Siege.
I have designs for all the interiors also, including bullet proof firing slots on the exterior walls capable of withstanding .50 Cal BMG, Barbed wire up top, Tiger Pits that are uncovered when you roll in the Conex, trained Killer Huskies, the WORKS! 😀
RE
Hey chicago…
Stone foundations, and buildings are held together with mortar
It cracks and breaks too
Try slip form concrete impregnated with stone. Diy and make it thick and sturdy as you want.
Little house on the Prairie. How quaint. That should keep the bad guys out for about 30 seconds.
Halloween is upon us soooo here’s a song for you:
Um, I was only kidding about wanting one … or, at least, THAT one. I think it’s totally RIDICULOUS … for all the reasons stated above.
This is one of the best zombie houses ever.
“This self described safe house is located near Warsaw Poland and is designed to protect it’s occupants from harm. When in normal mode the transformer house features an open concept with a lot of tempered glass walls and windows to make the occupants feel free. When in safe mode this fortified house transforms into a 2500 square meter block with cameras all around and a closed off lane way. Anyone meaning harm would be hard pressed to get inside quickly. A little harder to see is a drop-down draw bridge that lowers to the roof of the pool house which doubles as a deck and an elevated lookout. The home was nominated for safest house in the world in 2004 but didn’t win. I personally like the idea of a home with the ability to repel invaders and protect from storms but not if it looks or feels like a prison and this transformer doesn’t.”
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7 more pics here — http://www.trendsi.com/7200-fortified-transformer-safe-house.html
Dammit. You’ll have to click the link. I’ll try one more …
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Chicago-
A must read.
Really.
This one seems nice.
[img]https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSW9BLCOcKyBdv3ZwPkxAgYtNm3HB-tChkYdPG-8Mm1mDIN-i4n[/img]
HZK’s little stone house
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Kinda reminds me of the tent preachers who sold “rapture robes” to the people who thought the end of the world was coming during the Great Depression 4T. Never underestimate the ability to make a buck off doomsday preparedness during a Crisis period.
Chicago, look into cob, more because it’s fun to see what people do with it than anything.
Zombies: American as Apple Pie in Obamastan
Just in time for Halloween comes an interesting take on the zombie phenomenon in America. Pop culture seems to be saturated with zombies in movies, video games and on television with the smash hit AMC series The Walking Dead. The genre had seemingly died years ago after the umpteenth Dawn of the Dead sequel but is back and more popular than ever in 2014 America.
John Whitehead of the civil rights organization The Rutherford Institute has a new piece out on the allure of zombies in America. The piece is entitled “Zombies Are Us: The Walking Dead in the American Police State” from which I excerpt:
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Fear and paranoia have become hallmarks of the modern American experience, impacting how we as a nation view the world around us, how we as citizens view each other, and most of all how our government views us.
Nowhere is this epidemic of fear and paranoia more aptly mirrored than in the culture’s fascination with zombies, exacerbated by the hit television series The Walking Dead, in which a small group of Americans attempt to survive in a zombie-ridden, post-apocalyptic world where they’re not only fighting off flesh-eating ghouls but cannibalistic humans.
Zombies have experienced such a surge in popularity in recent years that you don’t have to look very far anymore to find them lurking around every corner: wreaking havoc in movie blockbusters such as World War Z, running for their lives in 5K charity races, battling corsets in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and even putting government agents through their paces in mock military drills arranged by the Dept. of Defense (DOD) and the Center for Disease Control (CDC).
AND
Here’s the curious thing: while zombies may be the personification of our darkest fears, they embody the government’s paranoia about the citizenry as potential threats that need to be monitored, tracked, surveilled, sequestered, deterred, vanquished and rendered impotent. Why else would the government feel the need to monitor our communications, track our movements, criminalize our every action, treat us like suspects, and strip us of any means of defense while equipping its own personnel with an amazing arsenal of weapons?
For years now, the government has been carrying out military training drills with zombies as the enemy. In 2011, the DOD created a 31-page instruction manual for how to protect America from a terrorist attack carried out by zombie forces. In 2012, the CDC released a guide for surviving a zombie plague. That was followed by training drills for members of the military.
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Interesting and more than a little bit spooky in that the military and government actually have a game-plan on how to respond to zombie attacks. I had not realized that but it does make sense in a perverse sort of way. You don’t have to be a raving paranoid to believe that the government views certain segments of the populace as enemies because none of this surveillance and police state crap makes sense otherwise.
I have long viewed the zombie fascination as being more of a metaphor for the state of American society in general. One needs only go to a shopping mall or discount retail outlet to see it. I stopped by my local Wal-Mart superstore last week to pick up some beer on the way home and could not help but notice the demeanor and disheveled state of many of the shoppers. They shuffled up and down the aisles of the grocery department loading their squeaky-wheeled carts with cheap food items but many seemed to be afflicted with a thousand yard stare. You can see a certain sense of quiet desperation in these folks and it’s saddening and freaky at the same time. President Barack Obama sold the economic snake oil and six years of Federal Reserve market manipulation has worked wonders for a few but reduced large segments of average Americans to casualties bereft of hope.
The ones at Wal-Mart are the lucky ones, they still have two nickels to rub together no matter how broken that their spirits may be in this land of greed, corruption, militarism and woe. The “zombies” are a bit more upper class at the local shopping mall, a garish assortment of expensive retail outlets that peddle the same cheap made in China shit as you find at Wally World at full mark-up. Never mind that some borderline slave is working under brutal, sweatshop work conditions, Americans will eagerly shell out the dough. This is especially so if they can continue to just put in on those little plastic instruments of indentured servitude to the global banking mafia. They are as soul dead as their “walker’ counterparts despite their narcissism and inability to stop gibbering into their cellphones.
But for some real American zombie action one needs to only check out the annual Black Friday door buster bonanza sales. The carnage gets worse each year and while we are not quite at the limb-ripping, flesh-eating stage yet there are plenty of people rushing the barricades each Thanksgiving night who will be ready to rumble if the ever time comes.
Zombies are a perfect sign of the times and are now as American as apple pie in Obamastan.
http://carryingaflag.blogspot.com/
Fun blog that has some neat plans.
Bob.
http://tinyhouseblog.com/
You can by one for $35000.
Bob..
http://tinyhouseblog.com/category/tiny-house-for-sale/
Hardscrabble Farmer: Thanks for the link to a great book. I have read of the Nearings before and greatly admire them. This book went right into my cart.
Stucky: that is a great “safe” house, but one criteria it does not meet is “affordable”. Looks to me like it cost quite a bit more than $113K. I’m thinking of something I and some helpers can cobble together for under $50K. Preferably WAY under. I’m thinking of something that has no windows at grade level, which will serve as the larder, and has all windows on the second story, and everything behind a steel entry door.
There’s no place that is really safe in the event of a “zombie apocolypse”, so I am thinking of something that is strong enough to defeat ordinary opportunists, even a small crowd of them, and which is small enough not to look too wealthy, and best of all, to be as inconspicuous as possible. I like the idea of being tucked away behind a stone wall with tall shrubs in front of it.
Maybe I will even place it in one of this city’s many empty neighborhoods. I know places in this town where no human ever sets foot. Places far from gangs or any of the things that attract them, that could almost be called Rural Chicago. Yet I could get to these places by bicycle with ease, and hunker down while the “zombie hordes” follow the sheeple population out and pounce on them as they’re parked on clogged highways, or get to their rural refuges first. The first impulse of most people in a breakdown is to leave the city, so I figure there would be about 2,000,000 panicked people rushing out, to be followed by thugs and gangs. In the event of a real collapse, a lot of people who have built doomsday shelters out in the middle of a place they thought was “nowhere” and stocked the place with food, water, and ammo, will arrive to find that somebody with more people and bigger guns got there fast. So, I’m locating a lot of places here in town that I could run to if my own place was for some reason unsafe and uninhabitable.
Sorry Stucky, I promise you I can get in that building in just minutes.
That garden will be great, when it’s noon and the sun’s directly overhead.