BLACKBIRD

Chris Picco singing Blackbird to his son, Lennon James Picco, who was delivered by emergency C-section at 24 weeks after Chris’ wife Ashley unexpectedly and tragically passed away in her sleep. Lennon’s lack of movement and brain activity was a constant concern for the doctors and nurses at Loma Linda University Children’s Hospital, where he received the absolute best care available. During the pregnancy, Ashley would often feel Lennon moving to music so Chris asked if he could bring his guitar into the NICU and play for Lennon, which he did for several hours during the last days of Lennon’s precious life. One day after filming this, Lennon went to sleep in his daddy’s arms.

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7 Comments
TC
TC
December 19, 2014 3:28 pm

Damn, that’s pretty terrible to lose your wife and kid like that. Heart goes out to the guy. We spent 6 weeks in the NICU after a difficult pregnancy, and it’s not something I’d wish on anyone.

IndenturedServant
IndenturedServant
December 19, 2014 9:33 pm

I can’t even imagine how bad that would suck.

backwardsevolution
backwardsevolution
December 20, 2014 1:33 am

Life really is not fair. That is such a sad story, and my heart goes out to that father. At least the little guy was shown a lot of love for his short time on this earth.

“Picco and his 30-year-old wife were anticipating their son’s birth in February when she suddenly became ill last week. Picco said doctors delivered Lennon by emergency C-section after Ashley died in her sleep Saturday. The boy was born 16 weeks premature.”

How the hell does a 30-year-old mother just unexpectedly pass away in her sleep? Tragic!

SKINBAG
SKINBAG
December 20, 2014 3:31 am

Compared to this travesty, all else in life is ‘easy street’. My heart goes out to that young man who just had his life turned totally upside down.

How does a person recover from such an ordeal ? Do they ever recover ?

SKINBAG
SKINBAG
December 20, 2014 3:38 am

Further more – I do not believe that I have the personal strength to endure such soul crushing pain.

Sensetti
Sensetti
December 20, 2014 8:05 am

SKINBAG says: How does a person recover from such an ordeal ? Do they ever recover ?

Yes, people recover if they move through the five stages of grief.

Kübler-Ross

Denial — As the reality of loss is hard to face, one of the first reactions to follow the loss is Denial. The person is trying to shut out the reality or magnitude of his/her situation, and begins to develop a false, preferable reality.
Anger — Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. The person in question can be angry with himself, or with others, or at a higher power, and especially those who are close to them. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; ‘”Who is to blame?”; “Why would God let this happen?”
Bargaining — The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow undo or avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Other times, they will use anything valuable as a bargaining chip against another human agency to extend or prolong the life they live. In essence, the individual cannot totally move into acceptance yet acknowledges the fact that what has happened cannot be undone. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example, one may say “Can we still be friends?” when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it is a matter of life or death.
Depression — “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die soon so what’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”
During the fourth stage, the grieving person begins to understand the certainty of death. Much like the existential concept of The Void, the idea of living becomes pointless. Things begin to lose meaning to the griever. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and sullen. This process allows the grieving person to disconnect from things of love and affection, possibly in an attempt to avoid further trauma. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the ‘aftermath’. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It is natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation. Oftentimes, this is the ideal path to take, to find closure and make their ways to the fifth step, Acceptance.
Acceptance — “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person’s situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief. This typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable mindset.
Kübler-Ross originally developed this model based on her observations of people suffering from terminal illness. She later expanded her theory to apply to any form of catastrophic personal loss, such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or income, major rejection, the end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction, incarceration, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, as well as many tragedies and disasters (and even minor losses).

MuckAbout
MuckAbout
December 20, 2014 12:45 pm

Nice lesson, Sensetti.. It just too damn bad that it’s so hard to do in an orderly manner without going batshit nuts yourself.

Kübler-Ross has it all straight – some people skip a step and must go back or forever live somewhat emotionally crippled.

MA