Fiorina Has High Name Recognition Among Thousands She Fired

Guest Post by Andy Borowitz

Credit PHOTOGRAPH BY SCOTT OLSON/GETTY

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—One day after the former Hewlett-Packard C.E.O. Carly Fiorina announced her candidacy for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination, a new poll shows that she enjoys extremely high name recognition among the tens of thousands of former H.P. employees she fired.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, Fiorina’s name recognition stands at a hundred per cent among the legions of employees she terminated, with many of them calling the former C.E.O. “unforgettable.”

Additionally, a broad majority of the laid-off workers described their feelings about Fiorina as “intense,” and noted that very few days go by when they do not invoke her name in a vehement manner.

Davis Logsdon, who supervised the survey for the University of Minnesota, said that Fiorina’s entry into the Republican race had “energized” many former H.P. employees.

“Most of them were apathetic about the race before, but now they are very excited to see how it plays out for Carly Fiorina,” he said.

Impressively, Fiorina’s hundred-per-cent name recognition among fired H.P. employees ranks her ahead of other names mentioned in the survey, such as Darth Vader (ninety-nine per cent) and Satan (ninety-seven per cent).


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Bob
Bob

Wasn’t her tenure at HP ultimately a dismal failure? Wasn’t she derided as a poor leader? Enquiring minds want to be reminded…

bostonbob

Bob,
You’re giving us a bad name.
Bob.

Tator2
Tator2

I worked for HP from 1986 until 2012. It was a great company to work for in the beginning, but as time passed and competition got stronger it got to be like any other company.

When Carly started with HP I questioned why her? Understand HP’s headquarters is just south of San Fransisco and I just so happened to work with a guy with a brother high up in HP’s HR department. He told me his brother said it was a pure “Affirmative Action” hire. He told me this about a month after she was hired.

When she started HP stock was in the $60s, by the time they fired her it was around $12 and moral was at an all time low.

The only redeeming thing about her running is she can zing Hildabeast and not get labeled anti-women.

Westcoaster
Westcoaster

Put it this way…Carly Simon would have done a better job:

Araven
Araven

Tator has pretty much said it all. I worked for DEC/Compaq/HP from 1989 to 2009. If Carly’s goal was to drive HP into the ground she did an excellent job. I would vote for BroomHillary before voting for Carley.

Stucky

Carly Fiorina, a former Silicon Valley executive, announced Monday her candidacy for the 2016 presidential election, becoming the first female Republican hopeful to officially launch a campaign. Here’s what you should know about Fiorina:

Alter Ego: Sally Cyber

Adds Diversity To GOP Field: In a sense

Previous Job: Computer at Hewlett-Packard

Presidential Ambition: To lay off 30 percent of Americans

Biggest Asset: Will remain Washington outsider for remainder of life

Inspirational Background Story: Sought ways to optimize technology systems and increase consumer awareness of Hewlett-Packard

Time Left To Soften Edges: Not much

Forbes Lists: “Most Powerful Women” (51), “Women In Tech” (21), “Ultimate Sandwich Lovers” (5)

Didn’t Always Make Most Popular Choices At HP, But Made The Right Ones?: Absolutely

Guilty Pleasure: Analyzing systems to eliminate redundancies

Voter Appeal: Fills rare role of business executive who also has political aspirations

http://www.theonion.com/article/who-carly-fiorina-50338

Stucky

Why I hate Carly Fiorina (from an ex-HP employee)

Well, she did it. After months of speculation, Carly Fiorina, ex-CEO of Hewlett-Packard has thrown her hat into the ring for a run at Barbra Boxer’s senate seat.

This is going to get ugly.

Speaking as a woman in high tech, nobody wanted Cary to succeed at being the CEO of a Fortune 50 company more than me. I was tired of being the only woman in the room at meetings, I was tired of testosterone charged work days, I was tired of trying to out-guy the guys. I wanted someone who could be the face of women in high tech; to show the world that, hey, a girl could do this. Carly was charismatic, a dynamite speaker and seemed tailor-made for the role.

Then she actually tried to do the job. Cue the screeching tire and car crashing sounds.

“Train wreck” doesn’t quite cut it when describing Carly’s tenure at HP. “Epic fail” works better. During her tenure at HP, the stock nosedived 44%. She spent billions to acquire Compaq, promising big gains, which never materialized. She chased the last of the Hewlett and Packard families out of the company. She laid off over 28,000 people, and completely destroyed HP’s reputation as quality company to work for. She racked up over $100 million in compensation, including her $21 million severance.

Shit, I would have ruined the company for half that.

What has she done lately? Well, she was on John McCain’s staff for his failed presidential bid. She got sidelined, however, after she admitted that neither John or Sarah Palin was qualified to run a major company. (Because no one knows “un-qualified to run a major corporation” like a failed former CEO)

Anyone notice a theme emerging here? (Hint: FAIL)

Bea Lever
Bea Lever

She’s a real bitch but prolly not as evil as Hitlery…..only Lucifer can claim that title. Be that as it may, our next president (and I use the term loosely) will be a female demon from hell sent to make Oreo look like a rank amateur.

Billy
Billy

Hey Stucky,

Didn’t this stand out to you?

Speaking as a woman in high tech, nobody wanted Cary to succeed at being the CEO of a Fortune 50 company more than me. I was tired of being the only woman in the room at meetings, I was tired of testosterone charged work days, I was tired of trying to out-guy the guys.

Soooo, a female in hi-tech surrounded by techie guys… codewriters, EE’s, etc…

And she alleges this:

comment image

Is “testosterone laden”?

I seriously doubt her work environment was anything close to genuinely “testosterone laden”… she’d last about 3 seconds in a genuine environment like that. IT goobs, code writers, EE’s, etc, don’t exactly look like this…

comment image

She wants to experience “testosterone laden”? Spend a long weekend in a Marine Corps 0311 or Army 11B barracks…

I do find interesting her take on the train wreck/crater that Fiorina left in her wake…

Zarathustra

Stucky says:

What has she done lately? Well, she was on John McCain’s staff for his failed presidential bid.

_____________________________

…all I need to know.

bb

Well she is better looking then Hillary Clinton. She is better looking then Obama. She is better looking then Stucky. And she is rich!!!!!

EL Coyote
EL Coyote

bb, is Stucky running for president? It’s possible he may declare his candidacy soon, he has his own bible out and he has played all sides quite well here. He has the gay vote, Niggas are in the bag, he has scouted out the German demographic, he’s anti-cop – which will trump Hillary’s mass incarceration message, he was a preacher which will trump Huckabee, he sold computer systems, bye Carly, the guy is a freight train at this point. I wouldn’t trust him, though.

bb

El Coyote , I don’t know . Stucky might make a pretty good President-elect. He couldn’t be any worse then the others.

Stucky

Billy

It’s a different kind of testosterone than in the military. I worked there for ten years starting around 1981. In the field … not necessarily headquarters … the men had 90% of the best jobs. Bunch of engineers, programmers, and techno-geeks out the ass. We had just one female System Engineer in our district for the longest time. Most of the guys didn’t respect her, even though she did a pretty good job. She was left out of a fair number of boys-only events. It wasn’t easy for her. I’m positive about that.

Stucky

El Coyote — if you vote for me, I will establish the month of May as National Beaner Month.

bb — if you vote for me, I will make the first Friday of every month a “Be Kind To Assholes” day.

I’m sure I have your vote.

JC
JC

“testosterone laden”? What a joke. Become a female Firefighter. Or like Stucky said join the military….

EL Coyote
EL Coyote

National Beaner Month that’s all? Hillary is offering immigration reform, this time for reals, no joke.
Besides, El Stucko, the presidency is not for emotional souls, you’d have to ditch that tattered moth-eaten cheesecloth part of your humanity, maybe sell it on Ebay.
Back in the Lewinsky era, Bill was said to have an amazing ability to compartmentalize, today NPR said Hillary has an amazing capacity to compartmentalize. This is newspeak for not having a conscience.
But I’d vote for you if you select bb as your running mate.

starfcker
starfcker

Stop and think for a moment. This woman has no base. Nobody thinks she is competent. Nobody thinks she is a leader. Who would give her money to run, and why? Nobody would drive across town to hear her speak. How is she a candidate? Why is she a candidate? A female ted cruz. A trojan horse, but for what?

EL Coyote
EL Coyote

To water down the female vote, confuse them with options, or to counter a Warren/Clinton united front.

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