I’ve Slept With 99 People & I’m Looking for My 100th & Feeling Not the Slightest Bit of Shame
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[Stucky Note: Back in my day we had a name for cunts like this. WHORE. Wonder how many sexual diseases she’s carrying?]
(Zoe Ligon) Well, I’m just going to come right out and say it.
According to the creepy (and confidential) Excel spreadsheet I keep that documents my sex life, I’ve slept with 99 people. The vast majority of these people (let’s call it 97%) were men.
I can see it now; my life as a dark romantic ’90s comedy. Young woman tallies 99 sexual partners, decides that’s “too many” partners, and saves herself for #100, and a knight in shining armor arrives. He is the hundredth mate, and he is her mate for life.
My life is not a problematically sex-negative and sexist movie plot like the above, but when I realized my “number” had reached 99, I can’t say that I didn’t think about slowing my roll.
I’ve read so many articles that try to dispel the notion that one’s number of sexual partners doesn’t matter, but they all fail miserably. I recently read a piece that interviewed 10 women, and nobody had a count over 40. I personally believe that you can sleep with 0 people or a million people, and that’s all fine with me as long as everything is safe and consensual. But I found that this article actually propelled the social construct of there being a limit on the number of people a person can sleep with.
Don’t even get me started on how a woman with 99 partners is treated in comparison to a man.
While I look down upon the slut-shaming of anyone regardless of gender, let’s be real; society was built upon texts that encourage — no, REQUIRE — women to be virgins until marriage if they want to be valued by society. A slutty man can earn his keep in the world, while a slutty woman is diseased, tainted, loose and immoral.
I could go on for ages about gender-identity and sexual promiscuity, but I’m just going to universally advocate for people of all genders who have slept with a quantity of people that elicits slut-shaming.
Do I regret sleeping with as many people as I have?
No, not one bit. While I don’t need to provide an explanation or justification for my number being 99, I’m going to dissect my sexual past.
Many of these partners were the result of one night stands or short-lived flings during ages 19-21. That’s really when most of the count accrued. I’ve been sexually active for 8 years, so that’s a little more than 12 partners per year on average, or one partner per month, although I’d say over half of my count can be attributed to that fling-filled period of my life. I’ve never been in a long term relationship, either, so surely that contributes to my “number” as well.
So, what’s in a number?
I dunno. I kept track, because I like to be able to gaze at the list and recall all my awesome, sexy memories. I don’t want to forget anyone, even the shitheads.
When I write educational sex articles, I often find that the very notion that I even HAVE sex causes people to jump to calling me names. I get “slut” and “whore” a lot, and people often like to attribute my sexuality to needing a therapist and having daddy issues. Nah guys, I just like having sex — a LOT!
Am I a “nymphomaniac?” No. Merriam-Webster defines the term as “exhibiting unusual or excessive concern with or indulgence in sexual activity,” and in my opinion, that is a very relative term. What’s unusual to one person is another person’s “normal.” I actually have a shitload of very vanilla sex. I’m all about the missionary position.
The definition also connotes an unhealthy approach to sexuality, and “nymphomaniac” is actually considered a clinical diagnosis even. I feel that I approach sex with a very healthy mindset, constantly check-in with myself and assess my actions. Of all my years (over a decade) in therapy, I have never had a therapist tell me that there was anything wrong with my sexual behavior. Maybe I just picked smart therapists!
Am I “loose?” Well, first of all, I’ve already discussed how one cannot become “loose” from too much sex. Also, fuck that terminology. Let’s just say that I can masturbate with dildos that have a very thin diameter, and it’s a nice, snug fit.
Everyone’s body is different in what shapes and sizes feel good for them, and it has nothing to do with someone’s sexual past.
Am I “diseased?” Well, I mean I had gonorrhea once, and that’s actually an STI you can get without ever being penetrated. Other than that, nope, nothing. This is surely due to the fact that I am a safe sex nazi, but you can have sex literally one time and get any STI under the sun.
STIs are also not a big fucking deal as long as you are aware of how to manage your STI and are honest with your partners. I’m absolutely sick of hearing people say things like, “Oh man, watch out for so-and-so, they’re crawling with disease,” because A. You have no idea what the fuck their medical history is, nor are you entitled to know, B. So what 1 in 5 adults has HSV and according the CDC “nearly all sexually active adults will get HPV in their lifetime” so … shut up, and C. Gossiping about people in this manner only shows how insecure and judgmental you are. Whew, end rant.
I’m ready for you, #100.
I have jokingly begun using the hashtag #lookingformyhundo, as well.
Except when I think about it, I’ve never really counted myself as a sexual partner, and oh boy, I really do the best job out of everyone. Maybe I’m the man of my dreams. Maybe #100 should actually just be… me.
Be proud of your “number,” whatever it is, even if you have no idea what it is (it really means nothing, anyway.)
Zoe is a sex educator and artist in NYC. She holds a BS in psychology from Fordham University and aspires to further pursue the study of human sexuality. Follow her on Tumblr.
Her mother and father must be so proud.
@ Hardscrabble
Amen.
In answer to the title question, yes. Just kidding. If that’s her in the picture, the tattoo alone would put me off. I don’t think I could even get, um, ready for a seriously tatted broad. I’d assume that she was a current or past carnie, and banging a carnie you’d be lucky to only be #100.
eyeroll at Stucky….when anything goes, everything goes.
The values and morals you instill -or fail to- in children now will be the catalyst for either the continuation of demise of western civilization…and if you live 20 years longer, highly likely the measure by which you will be judged.
Yes, Gay Marriage Hurts Me Personally
So rather than once again articulate all of the arguments opposed to the charade known as gay “marriage,” I’ve decided to address some on my side who agree intellectually with my position, but insist that it “doesn’t matter that much” and gay marriage “doesn’t affect us.” Of all the emails and comments I’ve read these past few days, vicious, vulgar, dumb insults from liberals have been the most common, but a close second have been these messages from self-proclaimed Christians and conservatives who have decided, perhaps out of fear or just plain apathy, that the redefinition of marriage doesn’t hurt us or affect us anyway.
I can’t quite describe my contempt for this position. I feel no contempt for the people who say it, just for how obtuse and oblivious they are. Our culture is collapsing around us, and still these people don’t understand why it matters. They want to talk instead about taxes or politics or something. But none of that makes a difference if our country effectively doesn’t exist anymore. So look around you: we have become the first civilization in history to pretend that two homosexuals living together are married, that a man in a dress is a woman, that a baby in the womb isn’t a person. You think this doesn’t hurt you? The foundation of civilized human culture has been pulled from underneath you and you think you aren’t personally impacted by it?
I can deal with progressives being deluded and ridiculous, but I can’t abide it if it’s coming from people who purport to be on my “side.” I’ll tell you this: if you don’t understand why the fight for marriage, family, and culture is important, then we really aren’t fighting for the same thing. I don’t frankly know what you’re fighting for, but it’s got nothing to do with the struggle the rest of us are engaged in.
So I want to explain now why the gay marriage issue is important, why it should matter to you, and why you were definitely hurt by what happened on Friday:
t makes no sense. That is, until you come to understand that liberals desire not to fortify or strengthen the family, but to dismember it. This is purely a game of power and destruction. Why do you think their victory on Friday prompted such vulgar, bloodthirsty gloating? Did black Americans react that way when they achieved civil rights? Did women respond like this when they won the vote? No, because these groups were actually fighting to participate in, and embolden, constitutional liberties. Modern liberals, for their part, wage a war not of freedom but sabotage. Now with their triumph last week, they act like marauding pillagers who just sacked a village and burned it to the ground. They brag like conquering tyrants, not warriors for liberty. Just ask the Catholic priest who tried to walk by a gay rally this weekend in New York only to be spat on by two gay bullies.
And look at this homosexual staging a mock crucifixion. I don’t remember Dr. King ever doing that. Nor do I recall any civil rights rallies, other than gay pride parades, where men get decked out in assless chaps and drag makeup and engage in all kinds of debauchery in the middle of the street. I definitely haven’t read of any other march, besides gay rights marches, that feature barely clothed children gyrating before a crowd of apparent pederasts. This is the kind of perversion and debasement only found in liberal “civil rights” causes, because that’s what the movement is about. It is focused not on freedom, but on imposing its decayed values on our society.
Affect you? Yeah, I think so.
http://www.theblaze.com/contributions/yes-gay-marriage-hurts-me-personally/
more eye-roll at Stucky…
We are now getting to the point at which different beliefs about the universe lead to different behaviour. And it would seem, at first sight, very sensible to stop before we got there, and just carry on with those parts of morality that all sensible people agree about. But can we? Remember that religion involves a series of statements about facts, which must be either true or false. If they are true, one set of conclusions will follow about the right sailing of the human fleet: if they are false, quite a different set. For example, let us go back to the man who says that a thing cannot be wrong unless it hurts some other human being. He quite understands that he must not damage the other ships in the convoy, but he honestly thinks that what he does to his own ship is simply his own business. But does it not make a great difference whether his ship is his own property or not? Does it not make a great difference whether I am, so to speak, the landlord of my own mind and body, or only a tenant, responsible to the real landlord? If somebody else made me, for his own purposes, then I shall have a lot of duties which I should not have if I simply belonged to myself.
Again, Christianity asserts that every individual human being is going to live for ever, and this must be either true or false. Now there are a good many things which would not be worth bothering about if I were going to live only seventy years, but which I had better bother about very seriously if I am going to live for ever. Perhaps my bad temper or my jealousy are gradually getting worse -so gradually that the increase in seventy years will not be very noticeable. But it might be absolute hell in a million years: in fact, if Christianity is true, Hell is the precisely correct technical term for what it would be. And immortality makes this other difference, which, by the by, has a connection with the difference between totalitarianism and democracy. If individuals live only seventy years, then a state, or a nation, or a civilisation, which may last for a thousand years, is more important than an individual. But if Christianity is true, then the individual is not only more important but incomparably more important, for he is everlasting and the life of a state or a civilisation, compared with his, is only a moment.
It seems, then, that if we are to think about morality, we must think of all three departments: relations between man and man: things inside each man: and relations between man and the power that made him. We can all cooperate in the first one. Disagreements begin with the second and become serious with the third. It is in dealing with the third that the main differences between Christian and non-Christian morality come out. For the rest of this book I am going to assume the Christian point of view, and look at the whole picture as it will be if Christianity is true.
C.S. Lewis
http://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/david-brooks-on-the-next-culture-war/
The stage has been set for an all out assault on decency, morality and an attempt to totally break down the social and legal edifice that is the USA. We gave niggers the keys to the house. They are just doing what niggers do. Shame on us. But to lay down and pretend it doesn’t matter?
That perfect man? She won’t find him where she is looking.
Hmmm…didn’t Jerry Hall say that a man wants a cook in the kitchen,a maid in the house and a whore in the bedroom ?
We do indeed have a double standard. A man who beds a lot of ladies…I mean women is a stud, while a woman who beds a lot of men is a whore .
Heck I went to a college that was 7 girls to 1 guy…..I was right there at the cusp of the sexual revolution. I must admit I had a great time .
As I’ve taught my nephews, what goes on between you and your lady friend is private…not to be shared with you buddies .
Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
Or fucking a swimming pool.
To go on, it would be good to drop the male/female double standard, and expect the same rectitude from men, if you are a woman, that is still, in some places, expected of women. It’s for your health.
Ladies, it would behoove you to check your man out before getting involved with him. Ask around. Delve. Shadow and spy, if necessary. Figure that if the guy has made it with 50 other females in the past few years, that that is exactly how many you will be sleeping with, with him, and some of them are the kind of woman you wouldn’t want sleeping in your bed.
Also, keep in mind that women catch diseases from men a lot more easily than men catch diseases from women. This means you are VERY exposed to whatever bugs a tom-cat husband or boyfriend brings home, and is, in my mind, good enough reason to bounce the guy out of your life unless he can offer abundant proofs that he has cleaned up his act.
We live in confusing times.
Lots of people are DEMONSTRABLY confused.
Very large numbers of people (especially the young) are induced to try to “stick out” by any means necessary.
-Tattoos.
-Piercings.
-Odd clothing.
-Unnatural hair dyes.
Oh, but it’s SOOOOO avante garde if you’re:
-queer….(Oh, that’s so 1990’s. If you want to really stick out you have to be:)
-trans.
The norming of the gay lifestyle predictably pushed the “edgy” boundary to even more self-destructive actions….so we get Bruce Jenner, the ultimate publicity hound.
Bruce was an aging has-been whose fame faded decades ago. How to jump start his celebrity so he could obtain another hit from that heroin of all, FAME?
Cut off his genitals, get boob implants and wear lipstick.
I’m saddened. Saddened for the weak-minded teens and pre-teens who will be induced to do irreparable harm to themselves, often with the complete approval of the utter imbeciles they have for parents.
On the other hand, I’m gladdened. Gladdened that weak minded, weak willed trash has found a way to insure their own destruction, volunteering to take themselves 1) out of the gene pool and 2) out of the supermarket checkout line in front of me.
I Just. Don’t. Care. About. People. Too. Stupid. To. Think. For. Themselves.
Our wonderful standard of living requires the spontaneous coordination of many millions of anonymous people, so I do not ever wish for a widespread die-off of the human race. I like my life as it is, and hope it even improves, for which I need many, many millions of people to help me.
I just want the nasty, stupid, sock-puppeted, brainless people to take THEMSELVES out.
They’re doing it. This gal and the entire SJW collectivist program is doing it for me.
Yay for gays!
Yay for trans!
Yay for those who aren’t but celebrate those who are!
Keep on dancing while the orchestra plays on the Promenade Deck. I’ll be sitting quietly with my extended family in a lifeboat reading a good book.
PS: Those who think the social norming of self-destruction (promiscuous sex, crazy tattoos, the entire LGBT program, etc.) will continue right into pederasty, pedophilia and such are probably wrong.
It’s all well and good to “tolerate” that which you never encounter. I get no closer to transsexuals than on the cover of a magazine in the checkout aisle, so I don’t actually care about it.
Now if my sons were pre-teens and some man tried to lure one into a sexual liaison (because the SCOTUS says it’s a “protected action” under the 14th amendment) I’d cut his heart right out of his chest.
No kidding.
And if Billy’s around here, he’d one-up me on that.
And there are tens of millions (possibly a hundred million) men in North America who would do no less.
That’s a Rubicon that can’t be crossed, because it would affect people personally. Abstractions are one thing, reality is something entirely different.
” .. eyeroll at Stucky….when anything goes, everything goes.” ——— flash
I shall assume you’re rolling your eyes because you forgot your sarcasm detector.
@Chicago,
I agree. The notion that men can engage in the hook-up culture without consequence is a trope of our Leftist narrative.
Everything we do becomes a part of us.
Only idiots (or the hiveminded) incorporate damaging pieces, and casual sex is a damaging piece.
Is it a really a “trope of our Leftist narrative”?
Male promiscuity has been celebrated since I can remember. Since my mother or my grandmother could remember. I spent my teen years in a conservative, blue-collar “archie bunker” type neighborhood, and while girls were expected to be as pure as the driven snow, the boys, especially those on athletic teams, bragged about the girls they made it with. Certain boys were such well-known lothorios that a girl risked her reputation just by being seen talking on the street with them, but the boys had bragging rights. Our football coach used to make girls available to his football team members, and no censure ever came to him, just as he was never called to account for pressuring girl students into sex and trashing them afterwards in “bull sessions” with his team members.
Nobody EVER demanded that both sexes display responsibility.
The CULTURE is sick…that is the root of all our problems. Sure the government is a reckless, bureaucratic, corrupt, psychotic hot mess, but that is a RESULT of our cultural sickness, not the rot CAUSE. The economy is a insatiable “Black Hole” as Orlov put it the other day, and again this is a RESULT of cultural sickness, not the root cause. Now, all of this is now an ugly cycle with some nasty feedback loops (govt feeds cultural sickness which increases govt power and in turn need for moar money —> cultural sickness worsens. Also media feeds cultural sickness for ratings AND to hide govt atrocities —> glorification of cultural sickness —> moar govt, moar debt. This is know as a downward spiral in common vernacular, a positive feedback loop to engineers, and a widening gyre to WB Yeats).
I completely agree with Flash that this diseased culture–and the destruction of the family that is a symptom of it–hurts me personally and hurts all (the people that participate and perpetuate the sickness as well as those of us repulsed by it)….BUT, I believe when Stucky speaks about not caring, he is speaking about LAWS. LAWS cannot EVER fix cultural sickness. They can ONLY make it worse. The US govt has been waging wars again symptoms of cultural sickness for decades (drugs, poverty, terror, etc) and in EVERY case they have only exacerbated the underlying problem, while wasting trillions of dollars in the process.
I think this cultural sickness comes with every Fourth Turning and only all out war can change its course. I also think that this cultural disease we have now is the worst in history, because there are more people than ever and we are more interconnected than ever because of technology.
One more thing: culture can be described as the bulk behavior of a mass of INDIVIDUALS. This tells us two things, 1) to change the culture we must first improve ourselves. 2) Self improvement takes time, dedication and usually involves some pain and loss…it is the same for cultural change, it takes time and it will only occur when enough people experience enough loss and pain to begin remembering what is really important….in other words: War.
I wish it didn’t need to be so, but I fear it is inevitable.
Oh, on the article itself…she looks like she if fucking 12!!!! I am disgusted, but mostly just sad.
I don’t expect to live long enough to see how the culture war plays out, but I wish I could. The libertines are the majority, and they’re not going to shut up, and they’re not going away. OTOH, the cultural conservatives are better armed and more strongly motivated. Should be interesting.
Here are just some of the recent innovations that have radically affected traditional morals: birth control; easy abortion; antibiotics etc. that make STI’s “no big deal”; the surgery and drugs that make transgender/transhumanism possible; 250 cable/satellite TV channels; the Internetz; digital video cameras; cell phones; economic independence for women; universal day care (aka public skoolz). The logic of all of these innovations is towards more permissiveness in society. Early marriage for girls was until recently normal and could be again, minus the marriage part. Barring a technological/social regression to the 19th century, that particular genie is not going back in the bottle.
@Pagan – very well said. And who among us can say we’ve avoided everything (or anything) on that list. Everyone buys the meme that technology has improved our lives in so many ways and now is the best time to be alive in history, yada yada yada. I cannot truly decry technology (both using it daily and depending greatly upon it for my livelihood) but I can recognize it is a double-edged sword.
Also, I have said before that a sudden, catastrophic loss of technology (EMP, cascading grid failure, cascading satellite destruction) may be the best and fairest way out of the mess we are in, ie renting the penthouse in the Tower of Babel.
@flash: A link to Glen Beck’s website? Really? This is the guy who actually used onions to simulate crying on TeeVee. Oh what a pillar of moralism and such DEEP feelings!
Personally I don’t give a crap how many guys any woman wants to screw with. It’s her choice as is whether she wants to continue the pregnancy if she screws up and gets pregnant. Terrible, terrible things happen to unwanted children, but you conservative pricks are only interested in the fetus, not the baby. Once it pops out it’s somebody else’s problem isn’t it.
I think this woman is just brave enough to admit her sexuality, and you don’t get a vote.
Boy, sex sells! Look at all the comments…..mine too!
I only have this to say if that really is her picture……”I’d hit it”.
Lysander, that picture is 10 years old, google her, she is a pig. Her look says , i love the black boys. Westcoast, where do I start? Only two things, I guess. I’m with HSF, this is very sad. She’s hardly brave, she’s damaged in ways you can’t fix. Terrible things might happen to unwantd children, might happen. But what an abortionist does is far worse, and there is no might happen to it. Sad, sad, sad
And I’m not here to argue, I am pro choice, if you choose quickly enough
Wonder who has me logged as their number 7 or 70? The Conestoga wagon crowd used to get frisky.
I, for one, thank her for her bravery and bravado.
By comparison my past is so tame it doesn’t even compute.
Any guy that reads her thoughts and doesn’t go home and hug and kiss their own ladies and tell them how wonderful it is to have found them is a very foolish man.
Bitch makes us all look good. Good for her.
I’ve got real problems in my life to deal with, I’ll pass on passing judgement on the likes of any of our severely damaged fellow denizens.
If Jesus still loves her, and he does, then whom am I to argue?
Brian says: Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
Something tells me all you’ve ever thrown are gutter balls.
Just like a pigs nose- always wet and never wears out. Hopefully she makes it to a couple thousand.
Always need a few party girls around. Otherwise bb would have never gotten past 1!