Academia Is Our Enemy So We Should Help It Commit Suicide

Guest Post by Kurt Schlichter

If Animal House were to be rebooted today, Bluto – who would probably be updated into a differently–abled trans being of heft – might ask, “See if you can guess what am I now?” before expelling a whole mass of pus-like root vegetable on the WASPrivileged villains and announcing, “I’m a university – get it?”

At least popping a zit gets rid of the infection and promotes healing. But today, the higher education racket festers on the rear end of our culture, a painful, useless carbuncle of intellectual fraud, moral bankruptcy, and pernicious liberal fascism that impoverishes the young while it subsidizes a bunch of old pinkos who can’t hack it at Real World U.

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At least literal boils don’t diss you while demanding you give them free money. We’re expected to shut up and write checks while the universitools ruin our culture. Luckily, due to the happy coincidence of a conservative federal government, technological advances, and the college industrial complex’s inexplicable death wish, we normals now have a chance to lance the boil that is 21st Century academia.

The purpose of universities long ago stopped being education, yet Big Edu and its liberal supporters keep pushing the lie that the only way to prepare young Americans for the future is to tie an anchor around their necks. America’s student loan debt now totals a staggering $1.4 trillion carried by 44 million Americans, and 2016 grads are weighed down with an average $37,712 each. And what do they get for it? Nothing but four years older and considerably dumber. Record numbers are using their degrees in Papuan Feminist Literature and Genderfluid Break Dance Therapy as gateway credentials into the exciting field of brewing caffeinated beverages for grown-ups who didn’t still live on the futon in their mom’s spare bedroom at age 33.

A house, a family, and a future that involves either dignity or success – these are things walking out into society with a meaningless piece of paper and nearly forty grand in debt prevent. But hey – the important thing is that we continue to subsidize one of the Democrats’ key constituencies and its prime breeding ground for the social dysfunction and soft-handed tyranny that are the hallmarks of progressivism. Too bad if it ruins the lives of the young suckers whose parents pushed them onto the conveyor belt that annually pumps out another crop of credentialed indentured servants.

But even sucking the lifeblood out of Millennials is not enough to feed the greedy academic beast. The bright new idea – one embraced by that commie from New England, that other commie from New England who tricked her college into thinking she was an Indian, and that firewater aficionado who lost the election – is “free college.” Let’s set aside the fact that community college exists to give everyone the opportunity to get some higher education; today, it’s job is to occupy high school students for a few extra years by intermittently teaching them the things the incompetence of unionized teachers ensured they didn’t learn in public high schools. The “free college” idea offers those of us who have already paid for our own education the opportunity to pony up for someone else’s. As the grade-inflated bastions of higher learning say to pretty much anyone who hands them a check and keeps his mouth shut about liking America, “Pass.”

If traditional colleges performed some meaningful function that only they could perform, then there might be a rationale for them in the 21st Century. But there’s not. What do four-year colleges do today?

Well, they cater to weenies who feel “unsafe” that Mike Pence is speaking to their graduates. Seventy-some years ago, young people that age were feeling unsafe because the Wehrmacht was trying to kill them on Omaha Beach.

At our nation’s most prestigious university, students are emotionally incapacitated by the fact that other Americans elected someone they dislike. Their reaction is to form a “resistance” that they refer to as “Dumbledore’s Army.” What a bunch of wand-stroking. But there is one good thing about this mortifying childishness – perhaps now, when you meet a grad, he, she, or xe will hesitate for a couple minutes before telling you it went to Harvard.

And in their quest to ensure their students’ perpetual unemployment, colleges are now teaching that punctuality is a social construct. Somewhere, a Starbucks manager is going to hear from Kaden the Barista that, “I like, totally couldn’t get here for my shift on time because, like intersectionality of my experience as a person of Scandinavianism and stuff. I feel unsafe because of your racist vikingaphobia and tardiness-shaming.”

Academia is pricing itself out of reach even as the antics of its inhabitants annoy and provoke those of us whose taxes already pick up a big chunk of the bill even without the “free college” okie-doke. This is where the fortuitous coincidence of two phenomena collide to give us an opportunity to fix our problem. We’re woke to the scam, and we now have a federal government dominated by conservatives that can use the law and the power of the purse to tame the beast. As the same time, technology that will allow no-frills learning is improving every day. What we must do is pass popular laws that make colleges accountable to taxpayers and students, including by shifting some of the student loan risk onto them. We must also protect that whole wacky freedom thing – colleges can always give up all federal funds if they, say, want to force college Christian clubs to accept atheist members. And yeah – that’s a thing.

At the same time, we can use the law to help facilitate the transition away from the current centralized campus with a bloated administration and faculty/four-year booze cruise model. Laws can mandate and regularize credentialing for technology-based learning to help make non-traditional programs a viable and accepted alternative to a traditional degree. Right now, college is less about learning than about creating a cultural signifier – someone who went to college is “one of us.” But that snobby luxury can’t endure when tuition becomes unaffordable for everyone but ultra-rich folks willing to pony up for their spawn’s sojourn on campus. And it’s unnecessary. To the extent college teaches hard skills – I learned how to beer bong like a boss – students can go on-line at a fraction of the cost to get the specific education they need, without spending time and money on nonsense they don’t. Oppression Studies requirements, I’m looking at you.

The quarter million dollar academic vacation model is economically unsustainable and poisonous to our culture. The world of Animal House was a lot more fun when it didn’t mean preemptive bankruptcy for its graduates and the fostering of a tyrannical training ground for future libfascists. It’s time to get all Bluto on the obsolete boil that is academia; time to give it a squeeze.

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Crimson Avenger

“we now have a federal government dominated by conservatives”

Man. I’ll have some of what he’s having.

Trumpeter

But maybe just a little less, hmm?

Anonymous
Anonymous

Things, things on every front, have reached the point where they are unsustainable and will not continue for much longer.

Be ready for it when they end, it isn’t going to be pleasant for anyone. Pretending you can hide from them and will be unaffected is going to prove foolish, but those doing it will not realize it till it’s too late to do anything about it.

Preparing for it may make it easier, not easy but easier.

Anon
Anon

Academia is going to die for the same reason that the medical scam is dying. As it becomes increasingly unaffordable and inefficient, the new generation (and some of the old one) wake up and decide that the amount they are required to pay in servitude is just not worth the benefit. The edu-scam lost their relevance when real jobs requiring “degrees” started paying so little that it made no sense to actually get the degree. I know lawyers and doctors, that after student loan debt payments, taxes etc. actually get to KEEP less than a plumber, electrician or other skilled tradesman. Yes, the tradesmen do not have the “prestige’ but when the doctor / lawyer sees a plumber buying a new boat for CASH, and the “professional” has to take out a loan for same….gets people thinking.
Same with the med-scam. OK surgery center is growing in popularity, and more free market models and concierge doctors are popping up. People are waking up and realizing that it makes no sense to spend $7000.00 / year on health “insurance” only to find that you then have to spend another $7000.00 before they will even cover you. Why not just spend $14000.00 at OK surgery center FOR THE WHOLE PROCEDURE, and be done with it. No insurance BS, no government, just service and better care. The math says: cancel your stupid “policy” pay the same amount to YOURSELF in a separate bank account monthly, and then if you need something, go buy it in cash. Self insure.
All of these scams are going away, one way or another. It is probably better that they collapse, as the inertia of collapse will be so swift, the scum bag politicians won’t have time band-aid it or kick the can.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Everything we currently have and believe in as our institutions is going to die.

None of it is sustainable for much longer.

Boat Guy
Boat Guy

Our government is dominated but not by conservatives . Nothing has changed regardless of the Trump victory . We still pay for useless bureaucratic nonesense . From foolish educational expenses creating a herd of well educated masses that cannot really do anything but work at some taxpayer funded non profit non productive endevour at some ridiculous salary . In the real world they are considered worthless . You first must convince them everything they were taught was destructive to themselves and their country . Though the Trump administration is attempting in some way , we are still nibbling at the edges when amputation with a meat axe is called for . If every working person left standing after the last 40 years of being slaughtered by our own government and fellow citizens that benefit from our slaughter were truly held to account for the damage we as a nation have suffered . I dare say there would be a blood bath of revolutionary proportions . Why do you think our attention is drawn to war on terror , illegal immagration or global warming . All issues , all problems , all designed to prevent us from the real issue. Our government is totally out of control and unaccountable to us for its actions . Check out the recent congressman that told his constuients they don’t pay his salary , that comment required a Louisville Slugger to is mouth and a tar and feather bath for this arrogant prick but nothing will happen . He may lose an election but will still have a privileged life on their dime unless he is Arkansided

Butthurt SJW Slayer
Butthurt SJW Slayer

Excellent post, Boat Guy.

Despite the dimwits and kike trolls here, much good info flows to those smart enough to absorb it.

Anon
Anon

“Check out the recent congressman that told his constituents they don’t pay his salary , that comment required a Louisville Slugger to is mouth and a tar and feather bath for this arrogant prick but nothing will happen . ”
Couldn’t agree more. We have had some pretty raucous city council meetings here lately. And, from what I am seeing in other parts of the country, these asshat politicians are not exactly being welcomed with open arms anywhere. Of course, the thugs in blue are now making their presence known, basically to let the peasants know that if they did have enough of the liar at the front of the room, and make a home run with the liars head, they would be shot. I figure, the liar you were referring to, probably had the thug brigade at the ready. I would venture to guess, that after a comment like that, the only reason that self righteous piece of Washington vermin left without injury is because of the thugs in blue.
You have to figure at some point the arrogance is going to get so thick, even the thug in blue will not be able to protect the POS from his proper “education” on civil matters.

Boat Guy
Boat Guy

Don’t worry the thugs in blue are in for a rude awakening at retirement at least in my area . If it were not for current on the job police putting monthly deposits in the pension fund from their salary current retirees would be on half pay or less . This will not end well ! I am aware the attempt will be made to tax me out of my home for their benefit and it may happen “BUT” if I still have enough strength left at that point I will be taken down , we all know that , no delusional expectations here . You can count on one thing , it will be butt fucking ugly even if it is for a moment in time !

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