Some mid week humor….
Via CATF. Author Unknown.
An idea who time has come : Drafting Guys Over 60.
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military until you’re at least 55.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry.’ We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill somebody who desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured, we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
Just a thought
Only fight wars that actually have something to do with the defense of America, only allow enough people to join the military to fill the need of ACTUALLY defending America, and you won’t need anywhere near the number of troops required to act as the violence arm of the big business cartels that currently profit from the existence of our military.
Lets see, where can we get young, large, able bodied men? Big, strong and committed to the team. They have to have their own battle gear and already divided into tight knit groups from all over the country. They must be able to travel. We could create a logo with a shield on it and maybe call it the “National Foreign Legion”. Just where oh where could we get them from?
Reinstate the draft with the sons and daughters of the politicians called up first. If Senators and Congressmen are of draft age, they should also go first. No, service in the IDF doesn’t count…
It is a salient point that none of Mitt Romney’s sons, strapping young men ALL OF THEM — and none of the Donald’s sons or daughters have seen fit to serve THEIR COUNTY in the Military Service. Now, I am not suggesting that any of the recent “wars of choice” are necessary in any sense. They are most certainly not ! But given that there are these wars that we have, send the children of the politicians first as you say. No exceptions.
Sadly, the Donald cannot call out the NFL nitwits for failure to serve their country ( 95+% of them have not ) because he himself so successfully dodged the draft. I think it was heel-spurs that got him the ( valuable ) 4F rating, but that is from memory only.
And that Clinton sex-crazed President person dodged the draft, in part by fleeing to England.
Well, the loser Michael Dukakis managed to serve, as did Elvis ( still can’t believe that one ! ) . And the great sportsman Ted Williams served too :
https://www.mca-marines.org/leatherneck/remembering-ted-williams-marine-fighter-pilot
And finally I have to give a call out to the H’Wood LibTards, every one of them — for so successfully avoiding Military Service. RAMBO would be an excellent case in point . . .
I cannot think of one of the Hollywood LibTards, actors, singers or other performers who have served. I am sure there must be one or two, maybe.
SOME FAMOUS DRAFT DODGERS :
http://www.datehookup.com/thread-1106540.htm
Sad what this nation has become — hypocrisy rules, first, last, and always.
SnowieGeorgie
Postscript — During Mitt’s challenge of Obozo, I always hated that he was such a hawk, given the lack of any service-members in his immediate family. This was his motto, “send other people’s sons and daughters to be wounded and to die, BUT NOT ANY ONE OF MINE ! ! !”
I know I would rather waste my life as a globalist pawn rather than have my 19 year old son drafted. Considering the fact that my wife now has the sex drive of an ashtray, might as well face the bullets and go down fighting.
Yours in Odin,
Diogenes
Hmmm…..sex drive….ashtray…….maybe I should start smoking again?
I’m not a big fan of the draft, but this version I like.
Credit where it’s due, you can find the original post here.:
http://www.antiwar.com/orig/lorentz.php?articleid=2841
June 19, 2004
Maybe We Do Need a Draft
by Al Lorentz
With all this talk about a draft, I thought that, as a professional soldier, I’d throw my two cents worth in.
Let me begin by saying that I’m against a general draft for a number of reasons. Conscription makes free citizens into slaves and the property of the state. A draft also gives the state a large standing army, and having such an army creates too great a temptation for politicians to use it.
However, I find it patently un-American and unpatriotic to place the burden of war on a small stratum of society. I’m not speaking of just the actual blood and guts fighting, but the entire burden of war.
War is a sad event that, in a great nation like the United States, should be shared equally.
First, there is the issue of whose children shall actually go and do the fighting and dying. I notice that the children of our political elite are not here with us in Iraq. I think we need a rather selective draft to fix this obvious oversight.
Specifically, we need to draft, right now, the children of every politician in our federal government and every executive in our military industrial complex. We must also draft the wife or husband of each politician and defense contractor.
They will be put into frontline combat units in the most dangerous areas. They could, for instance, be used as shock troops in operations like Najaf and Fallujah. After all, if it’s good enough for our kids and spouses, it’s got to be good enough for theirs.
These spouses and kids need to serve on a “first in, last out” basis. They will be required to roll up their sleeves and take the anthrax and other experimental injections and drugs that the soldiers do. They will go to war with the same equipment the rest of us use, and if there is a shortage of items like body armor, boots or uniforms, they will be at the end of the receiving line.
Second, there is the issue of solidarity within the government. Take, for instance, the status of reservists, men and women who patriotically remain in the military on a reserve status and go to war when they are called upon.
In almost every case (except perhaps for officers, who actually get a good paycheck), the soldiers and reservists must not only leave behind family and friends, they must also leave behind their jobs. We usually take a massive pay cut for the privilege of living in squalid conditions away from family and friends in defense of our Republic.
For the record, most of us reservists didn’t sign up for the money; we signed up to defend our country. But given that the last few wars we’ve been sent to fight have NOT been in defense of our Constitutional Republic, but rather of some politician’s notion of “global security” or “national interest,” pardon me if we get a little upset at the wrecking of our careers, our bank accounts and our families.
I believe the oath of enlistment we took said something about defending the Constitution, not about defending some despotic little regime such as Kuwait or liberating people 10,000 miles from our home. Remember, we are a Constitutional Republic, not an Empire.
Politicians believe that the military and reservists can be deployed frequently, for long periods of time, without causing any problems. As a result, soldiers are leaving the military in a steady flow, so many that the military has put into effect a “stop loss” program, which basically means, “You ain’t getting out until we say so, contracts and regulations be damned.”
Perhaps we need to level the playing field a bit. Whenever our nation goes to war, our political leadership must be given the glorious privilege of bearing the same burdens that we troops do. This is a basic principle called “jump first, eat last,” or leading by example. A good leader faces the same hardships as his or her soldiers, making sure that their needs are taken care of first, even if it means that he or she does without.
Therefore, when troops go into the field, all of our “public servants” need to move out of their homes and into tents or barracks with conditions identical to those of the soldiers. They will eat the same kind of food that their soldiers do and sleep in the dirt, on cots or in bunk beds.
They will also take a 50% cut in pay, although they will get to keep their benefits and retirement programs. We won’t ask them to go so far as to shut down their businesses and lose their clients (as some of us in the reserves must), but they will have to get by on less just like the rest of us do. They will, of course, be protected by the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act from creditors seizing their homes, property and businesses while they are deployed.
They will not be allowed to see their spouses (who, you’ll recall, will be serving in the frontlines) or children, but they will be given free postage on their mail home. We will allow AT&T to set up pay phone banks just like the soldiers have over here (yes, we have to pay for those calls). We’ll also have “Internet cafés” set up so that they can wait in line and sit in a hot tent to send an email to their families. Maybe we’ll spring for a web cam or two!
We won’t make them face actual danger, though; that’s the job of the trained professionals. Besides, if their children and spouses are serving in combat, they will have enough on their minds as it is.
Of course, we could just limit ourselves to only declaring wars and deploying troops to defend our Constitutional Republic, but then what do I know? I’m only a soldier.
I’m 72 and could drive a vehicle, man a desk, cook etc to free up the women for combat.
FM- That’s funny!! Sign up old rhs, jr…….he wants to get into the thick of it. He could take Maggie along and whip any enemy in a weeks time.
Good read.
PFC McCain……it’s got a nice ring to it.
POW McCain doesn’t sound bad either.
You’d never get sufficient recruitment numbers.
Old men aren’t so naive to die for bullshit that doesn’t affect them or provide profit.
Young men can me tricked to fight and die for free if you challenge their masculinity or say something derogatory about the size of their cock.
Join the Marines, because only micro-cock faggots go anywhere else! 0311 get all the pussy!!!!
Brilliant! 🙂
Very entertaining!
That was a fantastic read.