Can Humans and Computers Mate and Have Babies?

Guest Post by Scott Adams

Can humans have sex with machines and create digital offspring? Almost. Here are the components you need:

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  • The computer needs artificial sex organs to serve as the “input” from a human male. We have that technology already. There are artificial male and female sex toys that seem to get the job done.
  • The computer needs to analyze the DNA of the human mate. That technology exists, but it will get more advanced in terms of figuring out what kind of humans come from what kinds of DNA.
  • Once the computer has analyzed the DNA sample, it adds its own digital DNA (conceptually speaking) and creates a simulated baby that lives in the “mother’s” computer software while it continues to learn from outside sources.
  • Someday, when the simulated baby is sufficiently educated, it can be freed from the mother computer’s “womb” and be ported to an actual robot that represents the mother’s “DNA,” in a conceptual sense, combined with the father’s human DNA. Remember, computers “evolved” as did humans. Any robot will be the result of that human-aided evolution. In other words, an advanced space alien could probably look at human technology samples and deduce which ones came earlier and which ones are the more evolved versions.

Humans are the result of more than DNA. We become who we are through experience as well. The human-computer offspring would be no different. To the father, the child would perhaps remind him of himself but the simulation would have different life experiences informing its pattern-recognition circuitry. You would not end up with a copy of the father any more than you would if he cloned himself in a biological way and raised a baby with identical DNA. Experiences plus DNA make us who we are. The robot would be its own person.

There you have it. Humans can literally have sex with machines and produce robot babies. Most of the parts you need for that to happen already exist. It just doesn’t exist in a packaged form. At least not yet.

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14 Comments
NickelthroweR
NickelthroweR
February 24, 2018 3:45 pm

Greetings,

Wow! I’ll have what he is smoking though I usually try not to get trashed this early in the day.

Neuday
Neuday
February 24, 2018 3:52 pm

I’ve always wanted to f#ck Apple, but never considered what the fruit of the effort might be. One evil sumbitch, most likely.

ellone
ellone
February 24, 2018 4:15 pm

At the current rate personal computers are improving it might take a few centuries before things are that advanced though.

musket
musket
February 24, 2018 5:14 pm

Can you just imagine the megabyte cost of a divorce?

Hollywood Rob
Hollywood Rob
February 24, 2018 5:29 pm

What could possibly go wrong.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
February 24, 2018 6:21 pm

If humans can mate with whatever the Kardashians are and successfully reproduce…then anything should be possible.

Dr. Doom
Dr. Doom
February 24, 2018 7:14 pm

Uh no. Computers are machines that are made from silicon chips and have hard drives inside a case. They have no biological components at all. Can you possibly chip into the brain? Maybe. Wetware and Hardware already have some bridges, but direct connection ignores that basic anatomical differences of synapses and digital computers.
Sexbots have come a long way. Babies may soon be grown in vats. However, human/machine hybrids are still impossible due to different bases in organic and inorganic material.

Rdawg the fascist
Rdawg the fascist
  Dr. Doom
February 24, 2018 7:18 pm

You didn’t read the article, did you?

xrugger
xrugger
February 24, 2018 7:20 pm

More douchebaggery from Dilbert.

cz
cz
February 24, 2018 7:52 pm

it’s a bit (no pun intended) like ray kurzweil’s transhumanist wet dream. the idea is luciferian and i’m sure projects like this are well under way. there’s gotta be a waiting list of thousands waiting to “reproduce”with sophia…

Hollow Man
Hollow Man
February 24, 2018 8:26 pm

What if the computer decided it’s a male and decides to chop your weiner off? I mean the shit that is going now who knows. Another one to question is, would your sperm cause you to be electrocuted. Yep it is stupid. But the crap I have been seeing lately by Americans is self defeating to the country. Which is stupider.

BB
BB
February 25, 2018 8:59 am

Doom ,you just had to fuck up another one of my favorite fantasies . What’s wrong with you ?

Thunderbird
Thunderbird
February 25, 2018 9:09 am

Can humans and computers mate and have babies? No. Not even a chance of this. Baby is a term for organic life. It is a being. A computer will never be a being nor part of the biosphere. A computer is a thing; a monad, with artificial intelligence, while human life is a self regulating organism with the capability of becoming a self directing individual with the ability to adjust behavior and influence an occasion. A computer will never be able to do this simply because it is a creation of man; a thing that runs down.

You need to learn about the categories so you don’t waste your time thinking about these hair brained ideas.

Stucky
Stucky
February 25, 2018 10:04 am

I once stuck my dick up the muffler of a huge Ford LTD. Next thing you know, I’m the proud owner of a Pinto.

I think Scott Adams has waaaay too much time on his hands.