LLPOH’S MANUFACTURING PLANT

Via Feral Irishman

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doug
doug

If you pay attention it’s only Australian fukwits. So we’re good to go….

Zarathustra

It’s fuckhead in american english.

Llpoh
Llpoh

There are problems with making processes idiot/fuckwit proof.

First, fuckwits do not know they are fuckwits. They have the self-awareness of toadstools. Hence why big corps are so dependent not policies and procedures – they are vain attempts to make their businesses idiot proof.

Another problem is that idiots are so damn inventive. Just when you think you have covered everything, idiots do something so stupid that smart folks cannot even consider it to be an option to be protected against. As an example, I fired a guy once I caught compacting trash in a dumpster by standing on the edge of the dumpster (no! That is a firing offence by itself!), and then launching himself into the dumpster, landing on his ass in the dumpster (hell no! You cannot make this shit up.). He was instantly tossed out the gate.

I mean, how would I have protected myself from the actions of this moron. I had told him, and every employee, that climbing on things would get you fired, but in a million years I would never have considered telling them that throwing yourself into a dumpster was forbidden. I could not even imagine such a thing.

And so it is impossible to totally idiot proof things. They are just too damn inventive.

Wip
Wip

“I mean, how would I have protected myself from the actions of this moron.”

Couldn’t you have installed some type of gate around the entire compacting machine that, if it is not closed, will not compact? In addition to that the compacting switch/button is outside of the gate? Even better have a key that must be inserted and two buttons so that one person has to use both hands in order to operate the compactor?

Any chance you worked at Walmart? This is not a dig at you, I just have an intuition.

Rdawg the fascist
Rdawg the fascist

C’mon WIP. “Couldn’t you have…” is a game that two can play forever.

I say: “Well what about X?”

You say: “Couldn’t you have Y?”

Ad infinitum.

The point LLPOH makes is that “you can’t Y”, if you cannot even fathom how anyone would be daft enough “to do X”.

Wip
Wip

I was giving him a bit of a hard time is all.

Rdawg the fascist
Rdawg the fascist

Oh.

Maybe my sarcasm detector is on the fritz.

Llpoh
Llpoh

Yeah I know. No problemo! I dish it out, gotta be able to take some. The key is keeping people guessing where the line is. T4C dangled her toe over it earlier, but I am in a good mood and let it slide.

Llpoh
Llpoh

Walmart, no.

It was not a compacting machine. It was a dumpster. No mechanicals involved. He just decided it was a good idea to compact whatever was in it with his ass, having climbed up on the edge and jumping in ass first. Who on earth does such a thing, or even thinks to do it. He could have died in many different ways – impaled on scrap metal, by falling of the top of the dumpster edge, etc.

And even if it were the compacting machine, with the safeguards you mentioned, I have seen gates unbolted, safety gear bipassed, etc. Idiots are endlessly inventive on how stupid they are.

I know of one case where a tradesman got onto the bed of a large several hundred ton press and had a helper toggle the ram down so he could inspect it. It cycled all the way through, and crushed the tradesman down to total flat. There was literally nothing left – his body was squirted out from between the press plates.

TampaRed
TampaRed

llpoh,
have you considered that you did not properly train the guy or provide him with the proper eqpt to do the job?
the proper way to compact a dumpster is to cut an old piece(not usable or somebody will steal it) of plywood to just smaller than the inside dimensions of the dumpster and store it behind the dumpster–
when the dumpster needs to be compacted you back your truck up to the dumpster,toss in the plywood and step into the dumpster.you then proceed to jump up and down on the plywood and lo & behold,you’ve effectively increased the capacity of your dumpster.
don’t ask how i know this because i would never do something so stupid but i will concede that i hate writing checks to the disposal company–

Llpoh
Llpoh

Tampa – we have a forklift, a safety chain, and a large weight. Attach weight to fork, lift up safely, put over dumpster, lower it. Presto. Compacted safely.

We train our employees. But as mentioned, not everything these idiots might do can be imagined.

TS
TS

I was witness to an idiot bypassing a main gear weight-on safety switch on an A7-E. He was working on the gatling. Spun the barrels and off she went, because…hey, the switch was a deck safety feature so that it wouldn’t fire on the ground. Had a full belt of 20mm. Set off the F-14 across the deck, which sent a missile right on back. It was pretty bad, a lot of people hurt and 3 birds gone, but he was the only one dead. Melted him down all over the deck. Even the steel toes on his boots were flat puddles.
Another guy at Whidbey Island couldn’t figure why the nose gear pin was so tight, so he forced it out. Wasn’t supposed to remove it, but he was in a hurry to check another switch. Soon as the pin popped out the gear collapsed and that was it for him.

Idiots doesn’t do these kind of people justice. There are no words. They were well-trained and experienced, too.

Wip
Wip

The Walmart question wasn’t a dig. Believe it or not (I should have taken a damn screenshot), I saw a comment by you (our someone playing a trick?) with the name Walmart Manager. I believed it was you because it was indeed something you would say. But, it was soon deleted.

IndenturedServant

Phucmerunnin……..

Wip, I think you need to re-read llpoh’s comment…….slowly.

Where is a “compacting machine” even mentioned or implied?

subwo
subwo

You would be surprised what goes on in dumpsters. I was assigned to a ship in Guam nicknamed “The old HO” (which had replaced “The Old Pro”). This ship had male and female crewmembers. Approaching the ship for the first time I noticed a fire watch (sailor with a CO2 fire extinguisher) at the dumpster on the pier. Turns out that a male and female were caught having sex in the dumpster and the command’s solution was to station a watch there 24 hours per day. On the Pro with an all male crew two electricians were caught rump rangering outboard switchboards.

Boat Guy
Boat Guy

The old it seemed like a good idea at the time , not to anyone that took 30 seconds of thought . Now the assumption they can think . I remember specifically stating do not drill a hole there . Minutes later I heard the bilge alarm go off and that drained look on the face of the drill boy … Fixable yes , expensive yes , recoverable fortunately yes with quick experience and methodical action .

Llpoh
Llpoh

Boat – had a moron open a used solvent drum with a blowtorch once. It did not kill him, but it got everyone’s attention. Blew the lid off, just missed taking his head off. Scorched him a bit. Everyone knew not to do such, and he was a qualified tradesman. But hey, it got the lid off fast!

To properly open a solvent drum, first fill with water all the way to top to remove fumes. Then you can use a grinder or saw on it, while full, or after being emptied. Otherwise, kaboom. Morons are everywhere.

IndenturedServant

I worked with a woman at my current job who asked if she should stick her hand into the rotating mass of a very heavy saw to retrieve a piece of graphite that was destined for the garbage even if it never fell into the saw. The saw is an ultra-precise, very stable saw for cutting semiconductors. It’s so heavy it takes several minutes to spool up to 700 rpm.

I said sure, go ahead……….but you should know that if it grabs your arm it will rip it clean off at the shoulder and beat you about the head & face at least a dozen times with the nub end before you felt it or realized what had happened. She decided not to reach in to retrieve the graphite.

I shudder to think what might have happened if I had not been there.

Wip
Wip

Comment on my WW tomorrow.

Boat Guy
Boat Guy

Some animals cannot be trusted with fire

MrLiberty
MrLiberty

When rental lawnmowers come with warning labels that tell you NOT to use the mower as a hedge trimmer, then you know all is lost. Fuckwits will be fuckwits, fuckheads will be fuckheads, and sadly they or their family members are more than happy to sue someone regardless of how much of a deserving fuckwit/fuckhead their dismembered/maimed/dead relative was.

Mark
Mark

At 8:30 am in a Distribution Center I was over (Loss Prevention and Safety) an employee drove a forklift at full speed out an open bay door with no truck backed into it. We rushed him unconscious to the hospital. He had pot, cocaine, and alcohol in his system.

He was angry and claimed it was our fault for the overhead door not being closed.

He claimed he was blinded by the sun

He threatened to sue

We told him the bay door was on the west side of the building

He said it must have been blinded by the bay light

We told him the light wasn’t on and it was pointed out the bay

He said he didn’t know how the drugs and alcohol got into him

He was terminated with extreme prejudice

He filed for unemployment

He was denied

He called and asked if we would give him a reference

He was denied…HR would only give his dates of employmet

The last I heard he got a government job

TampaRed
TampaRed

here’s a demo of how to do it properly mr liberty–

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwTzBVhlurE

nkit
nkit

That’s T Red saving on rental property maintenance.. I would have never guessed that you were that big, T.

TampaRed
TampaRed

i’ll tell you what i tell my wife–you can’t drive a telephone pole w/a tack hammer–

MN Steel
MN Steel

And she says you can’t drill a well with a needle?

Anonymous
Anonymous

I work with Longshoremen, the most arrogant, malignant, malicious and ignorant group of people I could ever imagine. These clowns could screw up a train wreck. We have a saying-
Give a Longshoreman a fly swatter and an anvil and in two weeks the anvil will be worn out.
It could happen.

Thunderbird
Thunderbird

The commentary here is evidence that equality is a fiction. Yet this country continues to push this lie. There are stupid mindless people and there are mindful people. The stupid mindless people are increasing in number. It is getting so rampant that now people are being born that can’t determine what sex they are and we want equality for them too? The stupid are moving up increasingly to leadership positions and making policies that are totally insane. We have many put into management positions that have no clue of what they are managing. Much of this is due to the slumlord absent corporate executives of the large corporations. This country is turning into one big insane asylum.

And yes President Trump wants to make America great again. But he has one big problem. He has no one qualified to work with.

When the older mindful people are finally out of the workforce it will be the end of the line for our modern nation. Computers will not be able to control all the mechanical systems that keep our living conditions and economy going. These mechanical systems including roads, bridges, water & wastewater systems and the electrical grid will be all worn out and broken down with no one to repair them.

When that happens old fashion will be in vogue and vocational schools will be on the rise while a college education; that is what a college education is today, will be worthless.

This countries corporations have really embraced in their upper management the true definition of the peter principle. It is going to cost them and their investors dearly.

Llpoh
Llpoh

Not all idiocy relates to safety. My list of examples on all forms of idiocy is encyclopaedic.

Once had – emphasis on had – an employee decide it was a good idea to empty trash out of his car onto the company parking lot during his lunch time. Emptied his ashtray, mounds of trash, rotten food, etc. into a heap outside his car door. I saw the entire process with my mouth agape.

He came in after lunch, I told him that it was unacceptable, and to go clean his shit up. Which he duly did, then came back in.

At which time I fired his ass and had him escorted off the premises.

The stupid runs deep in some.

Another couple of guys thought it was cute to write obscenities on the inside of parts where they thought they would not be seen. Well, they were seen. And Einsteins that they were they had effectively signed their names to their graffiti. Not sure how or if they are employed yet. Got a reference check or two on them, where I was happy to explain to the prospectives what they had done.

Had a Muslim refuse to shake the hand of our Admin lady on his first day, said she was unclean. I told him at least she is employed and had him tossed out the door. Go figure.

Had several tell me that “I am not paid to do that”. My response: “Not anymore you aren’t”. The incredible stupidity shown telling your employer you will not do something boggles the mind.

Had one mental midget take a blow torch to a multi-thousand dollar special tool because he could not get a nut off it. Said he thought it would loosen it.

Had a twenty thousand dollar mill destroyed by an asshole that I told not to lift it until I got a certified chain to lift it with. Went to get the correct chain, but the instant I left he used an uncertfied chain, which snapped, destroying the equipment and damn near crushing a nearby worker. His feet never hit the ground before he was out the gate.

I had an office worker where an issue came up that froze the system. There was one button that could not be pushed, until I could unfreeze the system, lest the entire system go down. I told the guy, whatever you do, DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON! “You mean this one?Click.” Fuck me, you cannot make this shit up.

Contracts changed without my knowledge, because, well, they thought their way was better. Cheaper materials bought, because they knew better. Processes changed because they knew better. Suppliers changed, etc., because they knew better. Even though in every instance they had been told not do those things.

And all of this is why I say that no one wants to hire employees if there is any alternative. Employees, overall, suck.

starfcker

Funny reading all the stories. Total nightmares. But you know what’s missing? And honestly, it’s missing because it never happens. Where is the story of the guy that’s got a great idea that makes you some real money? Where’s the story of the guy who saw something in the process and saved you some real money? It never happens. Yeah there’s little things here and there, but honestly, you realize the big ideas aren’t coming from a line level employee or your base manager. Ever.

Llpoh
Llpoh

Star – superstars drive most everything. All the average in the world cannot come up with what one brilliant guy can. Average can do the work, but not invent it. There are exceptions but they are few.

A good current example is how a 26 year old software engineer who si good makes $300k a year, but an average one is unemployed or are on $40k. That is because one adds value that the others simply cannot, no matter how they try.

Few make me money other than do the work I create.

starfcker

“Few make me money other than do the work I create.” Can’t say it better than that.

BB

Hell, you guys haven’t seen anything until you have been in trucking for awhile.I have seen some really stupid and very dangerous things done in my years on the road .Most of it done by non truck drivers who aren’t paying attention while driving . I haven’t been in any accidents in the last 8 years but there has been some close calls that put the fear of God in me .

TS
TS

I drove truck for a few years; log, mule-train, maxi. I had so many close calls I can’t even remember them all. Way too often consisting of that one idiot trying to jam in front of me at a light.

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