Hillary Clinton Releases DNA Test Results Proving She’s Only Half Lizard Person

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Shortly after Elizabeth Warren released a DNA test that may or may not show that she is 1/1024th Native American, failed presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton showed the results of a recent DNA test that conclusively proved she is only 50% Reptilian.

The test, conducted by a renowned DNA expert, showed that only 50% of her blood comes from reptilian humanoids from space bent on destroying humanity. Many Washington insiders had claimed she was 100% reptile, but these claims are now known to be a hoax.

“I’m happy to announce that I’m only half reptile,” she said on an interview Sunday evening. “I hope my critics will think twice before calling me a space reptile now, since that’s only half true. I’m only part lizard person, thank you very much.”

But she was quick to point out that whether or not she’s an earth-conquering reptile is irrelevant, quipping, “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

At publishing time, Clinton had admitted the remainder of her DNA was that of a Cylon.

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22 Comments
Platoplubius
Platoplubius
October 16, 2018 12:36 pm

Only half reptilian? Still enough to be a reptilian shapeshifter!!

Remember this?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YMHOcmDVBP0

Extracurricular Celibacy
Extracurricular Celibacy
  Platoplubius
October 16, 2018 12:47 pm

Hillary and Cheney are robots. She experienced a small malfunction there, the flashing lights interrupt her remote laser command signals.

Anonymous
Anonymous
October 16, 2018 1:12 pm

Half lez-ard and half chardonnay chugging mao cow… Hmph. Half and half and still plenty left over? Where does she hide it? DON’T ANSWER THAT!!!

Tommy
Tommy
October 16, 2018 1:40 pm

That, is what you’d have for a president, if folks all listened to ______________, regarding ‘your vote doesn’t matter’.
Get out and fucking vote red this November or they’ll come back like a tire fire, and you WILL feel their heat.

Platoplubius
Platoplubius
  Tommy
October 16, 2018 2:00 pm

Blah blah blah, yada yada yada…

The choice between the lesser of 2 evils IS still evil!

Reminds me of what Netflix recently divulged they will be offering for their adult content original shows…

The option to choose what the characters might do while watching the show, how interactive and trendy!

Pick one path or the other, but it still ends in global Tyranny!

Netflix Will Let Viewers Determine Endings Of Some Shows: Report

Tommy
Tommy
  Platoplubius
October 16, 2018 2:11 pm

Who said anything about the ‘lesser of two evils’ but you? You need a brawler for this shit, but honestly, I’m still trying to understand how this relates to…..netflix?

Platoplubius
Platoplubius
  Tommy
October 16, 2018 2:32 pm

How does it relate? Seriously Tommy?
I thought you Q tippers and 8chaners were idiot savants or some shit.

More like just idiots…

The “illusion of choice” is how Netflix and politics are connected

Tommy
Tommy
  Platoplubius
October 16, 2018 2:54 pm

I see you’re channeling Carlin now, perhaps I should leave you in peace. Yes, Plato – how doth it relate to thee….come down off your step ladder before you do something foolish. Voting got us Trump. Trump is good. Hillary is bad. Good is better than bad, see?
Notice the changes retard? No? Lindsey G. went for the jugular on the way Brett K. was treated and has apparently been unleashed from ?, and now is aiming the Senate on the Saudi’s. Cat 5 ‘Stormy’ has been downgraded to a wet slobbering of nothing to worry about. Fauxcahontis is finished. That’s not even counting other folks, like Project Veritas who are pro Trump and motivated to see his winnings continue ‘bigly’, as evidenced by his fresh slaying of Mckaskill or whatever from MO. Tide is turning – and is now visible on the surface if you look for it.
And it’s because of Trump and people who believe in MAGA. You and your ‘they’re all evil so fuck it all’ sad sack nihilists can go fuck themselves. This shit is happening – history – is happening. Right before your eyes and your still waxing for the days of bitching and complaining hoping it results in something. You said it looser, you made it clear – ‘lesser of two evils’. Whatever, I’ll take my wins where I can get ’em, works for me. Lemme guess, you’re a boomer who wants ‘polite political leaders’ without the rancor?

Platoplubius
Platoplubius
  Tommy
October 16, 2018 5:17 pm

Tommy guessed,

” Lemme guess, you’re a boomer who wants ‘polite political leaders’ without the rancor?”

Nah, I’m a pissed off beaten down realist Gen Xer who wonders how the fuck so many people can’t see that their good intentions are being used to fulfill the end game that Alex Jones talked about before his handlers at the CIA told him to back Brand Trump.

Go ahead and think you are making a positive difference jumping on the Brand Trump and Kanye “Make America Great” rhetoric….

As another regular TBPer so eloquently pointed out on another thread…. is this fairy tale Republic we were indoctrinated into believing we live in even worth saving?

What and who are you really fighting for?
comment image

Does it matter
Does it matter
  Platoplubius
October 16, 2018 10:03 pm

Never mix pills and booze man, see what happens?

Platoplubius
Platoplubius
  Does it matter
October 16, 2018 11:32 pm

Synergy can be fun!

Dead Cat's Head
Dead Cat's Head
  Platoplubius
October 16, 2018 2:58 pm

“These asset seizures are going to be put to very good use. In essence he is going to seize the assets of all the individuals AND ENTITIES involved in human trafficking, human rights abuses, corruption and activities that do harm to the economy of the USA. These assets will essentially be all of the wealth the deep state has been transferring from us to themselves. The amounts are staggering even if you exclude the possibility of the FED being one of the ENTITIES seized. Include the FED and my bet is that the total dollar denominated assets seized will easily exceed the entire US debt and deficit. That, in and of itself, will leave quite the conundrum for the FED bankers to explain will it not?
Again it’s just too delicious for words. We’re going to seize their wealth and assets to rebuild the country, extinguish the debt and prosecute, imprison and execute the deep state scum that has bent over the human race for 8000 years. The only way that could be any more delicious is if they pipe CNN into their prison cells during the trial phase showing this happening in real time.
Pie in the sky? Maybe, but to many who have been following along, there is little doubt. Now we watch the news.” IS

I get a chuckle out of this everytime

Tommy
Tommy
  Dead Cat's Head
October 16, 2018 3:13 pm

yup. And for the why not do it now crowd, it’s because of the Hatch Act – but once they are over, so are they. Warren, Mckaskill, Heitkamp, Feinstein – and others are nearly self immolating. The blue wave is toilet bowl cleaner being flushed.

Dead Cat's Head
Dead Cat's Head
  Tommy
October 16, 2018 3:50 pm

Tommy, You vastly overestimate the intelligence of the Amerikan people. They will vote in a SOCIALIST democrat next. Mark my words. Project CHAOS goes full steam ahead, Red Team and Blue Team be damned.

Platoplubius
Platoplubius
  Dead Cat's Head
October 16, 2018 5:20 pm

You use pronouns like “we” will seize this and that as though you will in some way benefit? Other than the sake of being proven right…hahaha…
Then when “we” are done with those bad guys who do you think the will turn to next?

Platoplubius
Platoplubius
  Dead Cat's Head
October 16, 2018 5:54 pm

I.S. said,

We’re going to seize their wealth and assets to rebuild the country, extinguish the debt and prosecute, imprison and execute the deep state scum that has bent over the human race for 8000 years.

Wow! Talk about delusions of grandeur.

How’s the weather on your planet?

Anonymous
Anonymous
October 16, 2018 5:33 pm

This is obviously nonsense. From what I have read, the biological organic Cylons were themselves a reptilian race/species. Thus, according to your last revelation, HRC (Her Royal Cylon?!) would actually be 100% reptilian!

jamesthedeplorablewanderer
jamesthedeplorablewanderer
October 16, 2018 6:32 pm

did they test the other half?
Cylon – machine-creatures from Battlestar Galactica? I doubt it – why would a Cylon mate with a reptilian?
Now, if she had said she was half Dalek – I might be tempted to believe. But she wasn’t sentient when it happened, so how would she know?
Then again, half Cthulhu – THAT I might easily believe!

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
October 16, 2018 9:00 pm

Take a look at these half-sisters:

View post on imgur.com

Chelsea and Rebecca could be twins…and Webster sure produces some hideous offspring.

Overthecliff
Overthecliff
October 16, 2018 9:26 pm

100% snake