More than 40% of men today suffer from it—and their loved ones pay the price.
It’s called “toxic masculinity,” and it’s the latest disease to plague the nation. It can affect every aspect of a toxic man’s life. Worst of all, toxic masculinity is contagious, so if you’re infected, you need to know right away so you can avoid spreading it to your friends and family.
Are you or a loved one suffering from toxic masculinity? Know the warning signs so you can seek help:
- Even the faintest whisper of facial hair – If you have a mustache, schedule a check-up. If you find a goatee on your face, consider going into the emergency room. If you have a full-grown beard, well, it’s probably too late for you.
- A belief that men and women are at least a little bit different – Should you be infected with the cancerous idea that men and women are even the slightest bit different from one another, you could have toxic masculinity. If you’re a woman who believes this, then you suffer from an even worse disease called internalized misogyny.
- Throwing a professional wrestler off a steel cage right through the announcer’s table – Men who suddenly look around and find that they’re tossing a professional wrestler off a steel cage to plummet right through the announcer’s table are at high risk of developing toxic masculinity. If a man in your life is suffering from this symptom, encourage him to stop wrestling in the WWE immediately.
- Eating meat on occasion – A disease like toxic masculinity can quickly change your diet. If you find yourself leaving your vegan avocado quinoa toast smoothies untouched in favor of wolfing down some bacon-wrapped bacon, you might have toxic masculinity.
- Holding the door open for a woman once in a while – It looks innocent enough: a woman approaches, and you hold the door so she doesn’t have to open it again. Seems like common courtesy, right? WRONG. It’s one of the first warning signs of toxic masculinity, and you need to do better if you’re going to beat this thing. One way to reduce your toxic masculinity is to slam the door right in a woman’s face and scream, “EQUALITY!!!” through the glass when she glares at you.
- Yelling stuff about freedom and charging into battle wearing blue face paint – If you find yourself charging into battle against the English wearing blue face paint in the 14th century, you might be beyond medical help. Do all of society a favor and get yourself drawn and quartered so no one else catches this contagious illness.
- Being a man who doesn’t hate himself – This is the most telling sign. If you’re a biological male and you don’t hate yourself, toxic masculinity is already coursing through your veins. If there’s going to be any hope of recovery, you need to begin hating yourself today.
If you or your man are showing one or more of these symptoms, contact your medical professional today. Get help, before it’s too late.
I consider myself a real man, guilty as charged & refuse to apologize for it to anyone! Gillette can keep their products. Further more any woman that wants one of these wimps can have them. It will leave the good and honest women for the good and honest men. Just say-in
I’m gonna start eating only soy burgers and bathing my body in estrogen. That disease sounds scary.
Will you now be known as Mommy Steve?
You need some Soy Juice, I mean, soy milk. Always a good supplement for your soy burgers.
Maybe Gillette will go the way of Dicks sporting goods…
Dickless sporting goods…
:large
Feminism Was Created by the US Communist Party
https://www.henrymakow.com/000180.html
I gots the disease toxic musclinity. Some of the signs of it include the women looking for reasons to hug to which I reply “I’m enjoying this way more than I’m supposed to” or afterward say ” I don’t know whether to smoke a cig or fill out a police report”. Sometimes during conversations I have to say “my eyes are up here” and they love it. Times are tough…for the women who have a girly man for they are the ones suffer’n.
Once again, a “parody site” being more accurate than the mainstream media. Bizarroland indeed.
Do they still sell ? bacon?
I’m asking for a friend.
No sorry, you can no longer buy bacon. They sell something that they call bacon but it is not bacon. It doesn’t cook like bacon. It doesn’t taste like bacon. And that is because it is not bacon. But you can give them money for it if you like.
Soy Bacon. Best of all worlds.
Whenever I’m hungary, I holler, “Get me a ham sandwich, bitch.” Works for me.
What about when your turkey?
Let’s not forget that like privilege, toxic masculinity is generally only applicable to whites…
Happy to say my husband of 50 years is & always has been toxic masculine!
To the Left…if you have a penis…you suffer from toxic masculinity. Sheesh!
I suffer from all those symptoms. I would immediately schedule an appointment with my medical professional, but he has all the same symptoms. It’s everywhere I tell you.