Report: More Unborn Babies In New York Identifying As Convicted Criminals So They Can’t Legally Be Executed

Via The Babylon Bee

NEW YORK—According to a new report, unborn babies in New York have adopted a new strategy to help them stay alive under the state’s barbaric new abortion laws: identifying as convicted criminals so they can’t legally be executed under the state’s constitution.

Since capital punishment in the state has been banned but abortion is legal pretty much whenever and however you want, unborn babies quickly formulated the survival strategy of identifying as murderers, rapists, and genocidal maniacs.

“I now identify as a serial killer indicted on five counts of murder,” said one 6-month-old baby, whose mother was considering an abortion. “Therefore, under state law, I cannot be executed. Sorry, mom.”

“Guess you’ll just have to like be a mom or something,” he added, shrugging.

State leaders were blindsided by the strategy and aren’t sure whether they should restrict abortion or rescind the ban on capital punishment. “We’re definitely in a bit of a pickle,” Governor Andrew Cuomo said. “We must respect these babies’ chosen identities as serial killers, and we obviously can’t perform a lethal injection on a serial killer.”

“That would just be inhumane,” he added, shaking his head.

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Ham Roid
Ham Roid

I guess New York is trying to attract the nation’s growing irresponsible whore population. It doesn’t hurt being a good Catholic like the governor too, I guess.

Sick.

BK-another day closer to this fourth turnings end
BK-another day closer to this fourth turnings end

Those babies should all identify as Undocumented (((Democratic))) party members…they would be as protected and prized more than gold

musket
musket

It doesn’t take much to outsmart a cuomo…..

PlatoPlubius

Hilarious!!

Then consider these two!?

“White glamour model and her husband who ‘identify as black’ after having tanning injections claim doctors say their future children will be born with dark skin – leaving This Morning viewers baffled”
comment image

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6615237/White-couple-identify-black-appear-Morning-saying-doctors-claim-baby-black.html

JLW
JLW

As far as New York is concerned; anyone with a shred of morality should boycott as much as possible and never travel there again.
Secondly, we could end affirmative action very quickly by simply having all whites declare themselves ‘black’

22winmag - The South was Right!
22winmag - The South was Right!

The title of this post is pure, unadulterated genius.

This makes this think of that guy who took an AK47 to a few abortion doctors before they stopped him.

Too bad they stopped him.

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs

When a Pro Abortionist wants a baby it’s a baby. When they don’t want a baby it’s a fetus to be shown all the contempt one would extend to a vaginal Wart and flushed down the toilet.
The slut Amy Shumer for instance. Her pregnancy is in the news nearly every day. Before that it was “my body, my choice”.
May God have mercy on them.

GilbertS
GilbertS

Just classify them as undocumented immigrants and the DNC will be all over them offering free housing, citizenship, free food, free heating, free barry phones, etc. Their mothers’ coochies will be stuffed with pre-filled absentee voter applications, college acceptance letters, and WIC coupons overnight. Just classify each one of them as potential homosexuals and trannies and the DNC will mount a military operation to go in and rescue each one.

GilbertS
GilbertS

On second thought- isn’t it ironic the people who are desperate for new (illegal) citizens at any cost upon whose shoulders to rest the burden of the welfare state are the same people who have spent decades obsessed with killing off as many potential future citizens as possible? It seems ludicrous when you think about it. They’ll fight tooth and nail to stop a wall on the border, but if they could, they would build a wall around the cervix, complete with machine guns and barbed wire.

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