NAPERVILLE, IL—Local man Don Wilder recently applied for a life insurance policy but was denied after he revealed that he wears a “Make America Great Again” hat in public on occasion.
Wilder met with a life insurance agent to appeal the decision.
“I’m sorry sir, but we can’t offer you coverage at this time,” said the agent. “There are certain dangerous activities that just make the risk too great for our company to take on, for instance, smoking, bungee jumping, skydiving, or wearing a Make America Great Again hat in broad daylight.”
“I mean, if you do it in the privacy of your own home, so long as the shades are drawn and all video recording devices are turned off, I think it would be OK,” he added.
The agent pointed out that there’s about a 429% chance that you’ll get assaulted should you wear one in public, especially in a large, liberal-leaning city, where the risk increases to 1,782%. He also showed Wilder how there was a decent chance you get accused of assaulting someone and tying a noose around their neck.
“Frankly, there’s no premium you could pay that would make that kind of risk acceptable to us,” he said.
At publishing time, Wilder had been approved on the condition that he wear a Che Guevara shirt in public instead.
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This one was good, too:
https://babylonbee.com/news/elizabeth-warren-claims-two-men-in-colonial-outfits-assaulted-her-with-smallpox-infested-blankets
Given the tyranny of the social media companies, the financial services sector and its assaults on independent news sites, etc. can something like this be far off??
EVERY bit of power and control we give to the government, creates one less aspect of life that is free. ALL insurance is now “regulated” by the government. This means that the current cartel is protected from competition by barriers imposed by government in the name of “keeping us safe.” How many parents have found it impossible to find another physician once theirs discovers their reluctance to accept vaccine propaganda at face value? How many businesses that sell guns have been impacted by the banking cartel’s decisions to deny credit card processing services. The so-called “left” has worked tirelessly to tie the proverbial rope around the neck of society in quiet ways that nobody has truly bothered to notice. Until recently, it has seemed like there were adequate choices still available, still enough “freedom” left to manage without too much discomfort. But now they are pulling the noose tight, and there is not enough of a freedom hole left to escape through.
When others were actively condemning the massive loss of freedom, the flag wavers constantly looked to statistics and said “but we are still the freest….then but we are still freer than…..and then, well if you don’t like it here, then leave.” But they never bothered to listen, care, or do anything about the problem. Well, here we are.
And you failed to mention the name of the insurance company because……
You know the Bee is a parody site….right? I mean, like the Onion, its stories have far more truth in them than 99% of what comes out of the mainstream media, but this is still a parody story……for now.
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/arizona/2019/02/19/arizona-bill-would-create-massive-statewide-dna-database/2873930002/
read it, and i have never seen so many d-suckers in government at one time