U.S.—Uncontrollable wailing could be heard across the land Tuesday as American Republicans from coast to coast wept bitterly upon learning that Hillary Clinton had finally announced that she will not be running for president in 2020, multiple sources confirmed.
“Please, God, let it not be true!” one sobbing Detroit man told reporters, explaining in between sniffles that a Trump vs. Clinton rematch would not only be a guaranteed victory for the president and embarrassment for the Democrats, but a spectacle of entertainment the likes of which the world has never seen.
“No more ‘hot sauce’? No more ‘WHY AREN’T I FIFTY POINTS AHEAD?’ No more ‘I’m just chillin’? No more ‘you’d be in jail’? This can’t be happening! Nooooooooo!”
Reporters tried to interview another conservative from California but were unsuccessful, as he was too busy screaming at the sky.
At publishing time, Democrats across the nation were seen embracing, dancing, and high-fiving.
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The only satire in this piece is when they refer to conservatives in places like Detroit and California… Otherwise its spot on!
i thought huma had a better bod than that & hillary was a lot fatter–
i guess you were there with them though,so i won’t argue–
since you were their 3some partner,tell us how it was,esp hillary–
We call that Y-jamming. Is that a nationwide term or just something one of my buddies made up?
I bet Hillary was banging Humia . Only time I have ever been envious of a damn lesbian .
Watch it now, or you’re gonna make Anthony cry.
i think we can all figure out why neither rins or stucky is doing any commenting tonight,they’re both glued to the screen for the night–
bb,i’ll bet stucky would be happy to give you in depth instructions about how to cure your envy–
Thanks for THAT mental image.
I wonder how they decide who gets the strap first?
Eewwww
I’ve figured out the democrat ticket in 2020:
Farrakhan-Gosnell.
I’m disappointed it won’t be Franken/Stein.
The woman can’t even run to the bathroom let alone run for office.
Even Planned Parenthood doesn’t have enough cord blood to keep her vertical for another election cycle.
I have to admit during her last campaign I looked eagerly to the news every day to see how she slipped, fell, wigged out, went stiff, was hurled into a limo, pretended everything is OK, pretended to be Black, drew small crowds and just generally made a fool of herself.
I was not looking forward to her screeching voice and stern glare when she was preaching to us (holier than thou). I was also not looking forward to more pictures of her emaciated husband and wannabe politician daughter.
I think she is waiting to be drafted after all of the other fringe candidates cut each other up. Her only real competition for the “sane center” of the Dem party is Biden. Look for him to experience something unexpected that causes him to drop out of the race.
As always it’s best to wait a bit on these stories. The video was edited to remove her initial response to the question and she was asked if she could 100% rule out running again. She didn’t answer the question, suggesting she’s keeping her options open.
I take no joy in stating the obvious, but Trump is going to win in a landslide. Even with the massive voting fraud still in place. The Dims just have no one on the field with the slightest semblance of sanity…and unfortunately that is for the best.
We’ve already achieved political critical mass. I’m just waiting for someone or some event to light the fuse. I see it happening in 2020 – 2021. The bat shit crazies on the Left won’t be able to restrain themselves any longer. A reckoning is past due…and I’m actually starting to look forward to it. Blood in the streets has got to be better than this.
“I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees” – Emiliano Zapata