PARIS—Well, seems there was a bit of bad luck in the Notre Dame fire last week. While most of the relics, artwork, and idols were saved, one thing didn’t survive: all the Catholic Church’s meticulous records on its ongoing sex abuse scandals.
Pope Francis had reportedly just transferred the files to Notre Dame for safekeeping just days before the fire broke out.
“Oh well,” Pope Francis said, shrugging. “How were we supposed to know it was going to burst into flames? We thought the Notre Dame cathedral would be the safest place for them.”
The files were placed in the most flammable parts of the building hours before it caught fire, unfortunately. Several volunteers attempted to pull the files out of the fire, but Catholic Church officials sent them away, telling them not to risk their lives for them.
“It was a judgment call, but we care more about people’s lives than the important work of bringing down sex offenders,” one cardinal said. “Tough choice, but what are you gonna do.”
At publishing time, the Pope had confirmed that all the files were also accidentally doused with lighter fluid just before the fire hit.
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Fake News should not be allowed on TBP come on Admin, people will actually believe this. Do not stoop so low as to allow fake news. Make it clear, very clear it is satire please.
You are frightening us all Mr. Galt. There are Bee posts here almost every day. They are always satire.
Anyone with an IQ above 80 knows it is satire.
Yeah but it really seems like something they would do…
Thats the problem we all assume many people have Iq’s above 80. If you look around you may see its actually well below 40…………
The average IQ of TBPers, by my estimation is north of 120. The comment stream is far above that seen on other sites, especially ZeroHedge.
I don’t know much about IQ levels, J.G., but I know what I know-
On common sense or critical thinking; most folks don’t seem like they’d even know to pour piss outta their boot……
And spend a little time reading the ‘musings’ of the pillars to this platform…….!
annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum- seems to me, the IQ suggestions are equally in a bullseye.
I see your point but it’s shocking that satire can’t keep up with reality anymore.
Who are you?
It was so obviously satire that no one could miss it.
I don’t know…could actually be true. I wouldn’t put it past satan’s church.
Surely Galt was being sarcastic. He couldn’t possibly believe that.
Speaking of relics ….. Catholics (thousands? millions?) believe that the crown of thorns saved in the nOtre Dame fire was actually the one put on Jesus’ head!
Ya just can’t fix retarded.
Krist Almighty, it looks like something that was made in China.
Aaaaaand, here is a relic of Jesus’ ……………………………foreskin! Seriously.
“11 Seriously Weird Facts About Jesus’s Foreskin” ——> https://www.buzzfeed.com/tomchivers/how-many-foreskins-does-one-god-need
Dem dere Catlicks done went Full Retard!!
Ummmm, Stuck…see here’s the deal.
You cannot, in this picture anyway, easily see the proposed relic of the Crown is INSIDE of the ornate reliquary.
If you zoom in on the bottom of the photo, you will see that it has a crystal covering of about 75 degrees coverage of the full circle. Through that window you might be able to make out the relic.
It is actually pretty hard to see in real life unless you are up close and in good lighting.
Your usually excellent research was not done today, I am thinking.
Oh, and using Buzzfeed as an authoritative source? I get it, you just want to stir the shit today. Carry on…
Da P
He’s obviously been taking lessons from the Clintons.