Microsoft to Release Version of Word That Makes Your Grammar ‘Politically Correct’

Guest Post by Paul Joseph Watson

Microsoft is set to release a new version of Word that uses artificial intelligence to make your writing ‘politically correct’.

You know how annoying it is when the iPhone corrects ‘fucking’ to ‘ducking’ every time you type out the word? Imagine that for an entire essay.

The new feature, called ‘Ideas in Word’, will recommend ‘sensitive’ phrases like “We need to get some fresh blood in here” be modified so that “fresh blood” becomes “new employees”.

“It might underline places where your writing exhibited gender bias,” reports Fast Company. “If you tend to say “mailman” or Congressman” in the generic, it might suggest you use “mailperson” or “Congressperson.” If you use the term “gentlemen’s agreement,” it may suggest you use “unspoken agreement” instead.”

The term “disabled person” would be replaced with “person with a disability while the new version’s “inclusiveness check” searches for words or phrases that might be “offensive” to someone from another country or culture.

Mark Sullivan, who is a fan of the new features, says he is worried about “unknowingly or accidentally inserting terms or references in my writing that convey value judgements that I don’t really mean” and wants to avoid “writing something that might offend”.

Rumor has it that every new purchase of Word will come with a voucher for a yearly supply of soy lattes from Starbucks.

Please support my work here. They want to silence us forever. Don’t let them.

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24 Comments
Gerold
Gerold
May 9, 2019 7:03 pm

“There but for the grace of God,” comes to mind. Tomorrow is my third of six 2-hour classes I’m taking for Apple/Mac computers. One of my retirement gifts was a hefty gift card that’ll pay for the iMac I’m leaning towards. I was sold the minute I saw the Apple keyboard without those stupid redundant numbers on the right side hogging mouse territory.

After decades, I’m fed up with MS-DOS, Microsoft & Windows. Fuck ‘em!

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Gerold
May 9, 2019 7:20 pm

The Apple is what got Adam and Eve remember. No safe place to run.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
May 9, 2019 7:21 pm

FUCK MICROSOFT!

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
May 9, 2019 7:38 pm

So if I type “he’s a fag”, it’ll convert it to “he is a person of a fagual nature” ?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Iska Waran
May 9, 2019 8:36 pm

My father, especially in his old age, used to have a phrase: “He is a prince of a fellow”. About half those princes turned out to be grifter slimeballs.

Morongobill
Morongobill
  Iska Waran
May 10, 2019 9:28 am

He listens to show tunes.

bob
bob
May 9, 2019 8:34 pm

screw the “miniflaccid”. wankers.

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 9, 2019 10:36 pm

I have not used a Microsoft product for more than ten years. Use Opensuse Linux for your operating system and replace microsoft word with “Libreoffice” which is free and will do anything I need done. It is a slick operating system that puts microsoft to shame once you get used to it. A learning curve but so is anything new you try. Well worth the effort.

Brian
Brian
May 9, 2019 11:03 pm

Big Corp will eat this shit up by the bushel.

Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
May 10, 2019 12:38 am

Well, [ make love] to that! I won’t ever use such a piece of [excellent software]. These PC [differently mentally abled persons] can take their software and stick it up [on a shelf to admire it].

Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
May 10, 2019 12:40 am

Also, the software will report your actual language to HR via e-mail.

James
James
  Yancey_Ward
May 10, 2019 7:56 am

Yancey,am so glad I am in construction,in the field hr folks would have a heart attack they heard the conversations there.I once worked with a crew that was “diverse”,we had many different ethnicities and ,eh,even a female on site!We had the most racist/sexist ect. conversations and put downs ect.,a great crew to work with and when one worker’s kid was ill we all gave up paid off days so guy could be with kid and not have to worry as much about bills,that said, a HR person would have fired us all!I will say we all would have had new jobs as soon as we wanted,we did have skills and work ethic,but,as always,fellow crew always came first.

NoThanksIJustAte
NoThanksIJustAte
May 10, 2019 2:24 am

Microsoft to Release Version of Word That Makes Your Grammar ‘Politically Correct’

̶T̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶ ̶f̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶d̶e̶a̶ ̶s̶u̶c̶k̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶k̶e̶y̶ ̶b̶a̶l̶l̶s̶!̶
What a wonderfully useful invention!

(comment corrected courtesy of Microsoft Ideas in Word® Technology)

comment image

James
James
  NoThanksIJustAte
May 10, 2019 7:50 am

This stupid fucking idea sucks donkey balls!

I fixed it NO Thanks!

Tis the point,at moment still in many ways have freedom of speech and freedom to choose software we want to use.

I would love to see a hacker have a 108 turn on this software in a major corporation,would be funny as hell!

James
James
  James
May 10, 2019 7:57 am

Sigh….,180 degree turn.

niebo
niebo
May 10, 2019 9:42 am

Should call it “MSWord NPC”

ordo ab chao
ordo ab chao
  niebo
May 10, 2019 10:32 am

Niebo;

I tried to respond on Uncola’a thread, but my keyboard just jams. So I’ll interrupt here:

niebo

AGREE. Matthew 25 – the ten virgins. Five were wise, prepared, did not run out of “oil”, but the other five were foolish . . . . Interesting that this is the last chapter of parables; the next chapter holds the account of His betrayal’.

I agree with the somewhat obvious, but would posit a plenary meaning.

The light might represent the hope of those waiting for the appearance of the bridegroom, and the oil represents faith. Distracted by a material need, their faith depleted, they missed the fruition of their Hope

annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum

niebo
niebo
  ordo ab chao
May 10, 2019 6:51 pm

Excellent! “Distracted by a material need, their faith depleted. . .” THAT is the between-the-lines “warning”, as it were; if we heed His words, and watch for the signs of (the end) the return of the Bridegroom, we will not be distracted, not in despair, not . . . hopeless. Because we listened and “obeyed”, in a sense. Exercised wisdom, as He equips us to do. I do concede that my perspective has been for some time more looking at the “physical” aspects of that particular parable and “light = hope” rings a bell in my spirit. I am both edified and instructed, OAC. Thank you.

“Faith , Hope, and Love abide, these three. . . .” Love is the greatest, yes, but hope is the heart of joy, i think.

ordo ab chao
ordo ab chao
  niebo
May 10, 2019 8:10 pm

I appreciate the reply.

“watch for the signs of (the end) the return…..”

Seems that all I see. Everywhere. Transhumanism, transgenderism, AI, singularity, digital currency (the mark rising?), genetics, extra-dimensional science…….”As it was in the days of Noah”…..

annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum- a new order of the ages, a return to the “golden age, where gods once again co-mingle with men”

“And whereas thou sawest iron mixed with miry clay, they shall mingle themselves with the seed of men: but they shall not cleave one to another, even as iron is not mixed with clay.”

Iconoclast421
Iconoclast421
May 10, 2019 10:22 am

It already takes 10 seconds to open a 25 kilobyte word document. Can they really fuck it up any more? Apparently they can. This company is disgustingly incompetent. Seriously, 25 kilobytes. Not megabytes, kilobytes! That is literally subdialup speeds. Even if you close it and open it it takes 10 full seconds each time. On a machine with 8 cores and a SSD.

ecliptix543
ecliptix543
May 11, 2019 11:44 am

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. ?.
Alright. Stop the goddamned ride. I’m done. Let me off now.

Tom
Tom
May 11, 2019 1:43 pm

If you type-in a bunch of sequential words and phrases that are deemed politically incorrect, can you “trigger” the new Word into the ever-looming Microsoft “blue screen of death?”

pedr davies
pedr davies
May 13, 2019 1:14 am

Libre Office – better, faster, free and NO lock-in.
Almost NO-ONE “needs ” MS office or another proprietary equivalent.
Libre can correctly write files in almost any format including many that MS can’t write.

Game, Set, Match – forget WORD, use something better.
Apple has the exactly same intent . . . it bans apps that express opinions Apple doesn’t agree with.
Same with Gargoyle, FakeBork and Twatter … BOYCOTT is the ONLY answer.