Walmart Self-Checkout Machine Wins Employee Of The Month Award Again

Via The Babylon Bee

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—A self-checkout machine at a local Walmart store was selected to be honored as the employee of the month for the fifty-second month in a row, sources confirmed Thursday.

The checkout machine was recognized for its speedy service, inability to make mathematical errors, and lack of making small talk with customers.

“Honestly, Checkout Machine #5 is a dream employee,” said store manager Glen Anderson. “#5 never complains, never calls in sick, never makes annoying small talk.”

The machine didn’t make a single error the entire month, yet again, worked full shifts all thirty-one days of the month, and never once took a smoke or lunch break. Customers, especially those with just a few items, reported they had delightful interactions with the employee and were able to get in the store and get out with little hassle thanks to Machine #5.

“It’s the poster boy for how we want our employees to act around here and the kind of attitude everyone should have.”

At publishing time, the kiosk was being considered for a managerial position.

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Pequiste
Pequiste

Humans are just so antediluvian.

Donkey Balls
Donkey Balls

Peq,

Word score?

EL Cholo (EC)
EL Cholo (EC)

The things you miss about the 50’s were replaced by convenience that defines the modern era. The pay phone, gas station attendants, grocery delivery, milk delivery, phone operators.. Everything is evolving so that we don’t have to leave our cocoon, pizza delivery, cable movies, online voting, same day home delivery..

The office cubicle brought to a home near you. Be afraid, very afraid.

Pequiste
Pequiste

One person’s cocoon is another’s prison or in the case of modern young folks – a very safe space.

Unless they are coloured, in which case it would be a cooncocoon.

Dutchman
Dutchman

Kneegrows and Mexicans that work at my local HD are just too stupid. It’s much quick and a better experience to go through the self serve – all long as you don’t have any large items.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty

Sadly these things do still require humans to keep their money supply maintained (so they can give change if paying in cash), and still need to have their glass cleaned so that they will read the barcodes, and plenty of other things. Walmart doesn’t make sure these things happen either, so many are always down at our local store.

Tacitus
Tacitus

So true!

tsquared
tsquared

I will start using the self checkout when it starts giving me a discount for using it.

James
James

I will no longer go to that store at that point.

I have had too many issues with self checkouts,especially the grocery store ones.

One time a self checkout refused to give back a few bucks change and no in store help around,back fisted acrylic screen and actually put a fracture crack in said screen,needless to say just left without me change!

Eric the Red
Eric the Red

NUMBER 5 IS ALIVE!!!

None Ya Biz
None Ya Biz

Exactly what I was thinking! 🙂

bob
bob

Got in a minor tussle a week ago at Whee-mart when, standing in line, I refused the offer of the mean ol’ gal that supervises self check out to use the self check out. I told her “I’ll wait…I hate self check out.” She got pissed and gave me a scalding look and a few sharp words. Scared the shit out of the checker who’s line I was waiting in. I thought she was going to cry.

Tacitus
Tacitus

What’s funny is I tried to use the self checkout and was informed by M’Gilla Goerilla I was, ” Out of line”. What line cunt? It’s a fucking SQUARE, where does the FUCKING LINE START? I just tossed my shit on the floor and left.

Tacitus
Tacitus

Translation: niggerz are unemployable even in menial jobs and human beings don’t like speaking to niggerz. Not a problem in my area, the knee-gresi openly hate my white ass so much for keeping them employed with my business they don’t even attempt small talk. I look forward to complete automation at WM, I’ll shop there more.

22winmag - The South was Right!
22winmag - The South was Right!
None Ya Biz
None Ya Biz

Wow it has been decades since I’ve seen a NCR Class 5 Cash Register!

Horst
Horst

One more of these articles. Every time these miss who actually does the work here,
the customer!

able baker
able baker

they also don’t pay taxes, don’t buy houses, pay rent or buy groceries, don’t shop, don’t take vacations or drive cars, don’t conduct job interviews, require a union membership, or pension, or healthcare, or long term disability/nursing home, so what happens to all those other “useless” subsidiary support humans AND the tax base they provide? It’s like when we were told to stop using stamps because e-commerce was faster and more efficient, but using a stamp also saved about a dozen American jobs. Stupid short sighted government–

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