The Bee Explains: Democratic Socialism

Via The Babylon Bee

You can’t go into a Whole Foods or indie record store without hearing somebody talk about it: democratic socialism. Is it a radical new idea that we should try out in our nation, or is it an old idea with the word “democratic” stapled to the front to make it sound more palatable? Find out in this handy explainer from your friends at The Babylon Bee:

What is Democratic Socialism?

Democratic Socialism is a growing movement in America promising every citizen the most basic human rights, including but not limited to free healthcare, a government-guaranteed job making at least $15 per hour, free college tuition, guaranteed housing, broadband internet access, and cage-free vegan lattes.

How would the government pay for all of that?

By rightfully appropriating money from terrible, evil, oppressive, hardworking, enterprising citizens who have earned wealth via the dreaded free market economy that has led to unprecedented human flourishing. Governments are known for being the most efficient spenders of money, and so surely would do an excellent job as stewards of your wealth—err, we mean, the public’s wealth.

Isn’t it immoral to take most of the money people earn?

No—actually, it’s the right thing to do. People with money only got that money because of inherent privilege, racism, sexism, bigotry, homophobia, transphobia, patriarchy, and all kinds of other unfair power structures and phobias. You know what, we’re a little concerned with all the questions you’re asking here. It sounds like someone needs to spend a little more time in a democratic re-education loyalty center! KILL THE KULAKS!

How does Democratic Socialism differ from just “Socialism”?

It has the word “Democratic” in front of it, you see, which means it is achieved by promoting identity politics, stoking class warfare, and cranking that entitlement mentality up to 11, instead of literal violent overthrow of the government. Besides, voting for the government to seize people’s wealth is totally different from the government deciding to do so on their own, right? Err… uh… DID WE MENTION YOU GET FREE STUFF?? Say it with us: Socialism good, Democratic Socialism better!

It seems like if you try to run the numbers, there’s just no way Democratic Socialism is a fiscally feasible form of government.

“Run the numbers”? “Fiscally feasible”? Have you been paying attention, like, at all? Do you want free money, or are you part of the problem? YOU GET FREE MONEY, AND YOU GET FREE MONEY—ERRYBODY GETS FREE MONEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!

Is there an example of this form of government working out well in the world?

YES! Venezuela is a socialist paradise, having achieved an almost totally equal distribution of hunger and lack of basic necessities. With features like 46,000% inflation, mass starvation, empty grocery stores, and total economic collapse, it’s a great real-world example of a socialist utopia! THAT’S HOW YOU STICK IT TO THE CORPORATE OLIGARCHY, BABY! OWN THE CAPITALISTS WITH THIS ONE GREAT TRICK!

As you can see, the centralization of wealth and power to an elite few in government is perfectly in line with the ideas America was founded on. Now let’s get out there and democratically seize the means of production, comrades!

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13 Comments
AC
AC
July 14, 2019 2:04 pm

Democratic socialism is communism with confetti and clowns.

comment image

Anonymous
Anonymous
  AC
July 14, 2019 2:25 pm

Could use the term ” mob rule ” to equal effect

Steve
Steve
July 14, 2019 2:05 pm

The Dems want to “soak the rich”. But the rich have assets not income and what income they do get is fairly easy to shelter. So where does the money come from for this pie in the sky?

gatsby1219
gatsby1219
July 14, 2019 2:12 pm

Is it time yet ?

Neuday
Neuday
  gatsby1219
July 14, 2019 4:15 pm

Not quite yet, but soon.

Thunderbird
Thunderbird
July 14, 2019 2:38 pm

We have become a nation of mostly sheep & goats. This combination will not be able to sustain democratic socialism.

The present system put in place by previous generations has become rotten and will fail when the boomers retire to their graves. It is fantasy to think that a bankrupt system and the depleted resources of an over harvested biosphere is going to support democratic socialism.

The party is over. The sheep need a shepherd but there is none to be found. Not even sheep dogs. And the goats are running rampant while the wolves & sharks run the country. I refer to animals to depict our current society. Sad because this shows our degradation in intelligence and ethics.

After the fall of the empire and western civilization I suspect something new will replace it. It always does after a period of darkness.

Weather patterns are changing and leading to crop failures. This is going to cause a worldwide reduction in population. Something long overdue. Funny how people think there is so much abundance to be shared for nothing when the signs have shown for all to see; if they look, that we have raped the resources of the earth in the last 70 years of party, party, party without even considering sustainability through replenishment. And even worse our nation does not even have a vision for the future other than plundering the rest of the resources.

Remember what happened to the people of Easter Island? Most people don’t even have a clue but this is our fate as we continue down our current path.

Revelation means nothing in the face of ignorance.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
July 14, 2019 3:04 pm

“Its like….democratic….and stuff…..you know, like for the people and stuff…..and socialism is like society….and stuff.”

Jack Lovett
Jack Lovett
July 14, 2019 4:49 pm

A very scary trend across the country. Makes the believers in peak oil, global warming, worship of big gov and other stupid crap seem mild and tame.

AC
AC
  KaD
July 14, 2019 9:30 pm

That makes me want to [fedpost] the shit of those backstabbing traitors.

BB
BB
  AC
July 17, 2019 11:46 am

Wait until the liberals progressives Democrats Communist get a lock on Federal power. Trump is probably the last Republican President . If Texas or Florida goes blue it’s over for us. I just wish I could go somewhere to get away from these fucking parasites. I used to think the Appalachian mountains in East Tennessee or the mountains is North Carolina but I don’t know. Maybe West Virginia might be better.

ChuckC
ChuckC
July 14, 2019 10:27 pm

This would be funnier if it wasn’t so close to being how socialists see things. Not in America. Ever.

anonymous
anonymous
July 15, 2019 8:11 am

“democratic socialism” is an oxymoron. It is what happens when the hordes of the Left take over power and start confiscating everything from everybody. At the beginning, there’s plenty of money to go around as they plunder through the funds of savings and budget money private individuals and corporations hold. Those funds are eventually depleted and they don’t get replenished, and then the geniuses that brought “democratic socialism” to you don’t have money to keep food in the stores for people to eat so they have to implement ration cards for food, fuel, etc. and fix prices.

Of course, by then most corporations went bankrupt and were taken over by the state at that point so instead of being a source of tax revenue for the government they become a liability and totally inefficient managed by bureaucrats who don’t know squat about the business they’re managing.

This causes the amount of vital products like food and fuel for families to be woefully inadequate, which forces people to acquire those goods in the black market at exorbitant prices.

The explanation above is what has happen in real life EVERY TIME this was done, not the platitudes you hear in Academia from people who, PhD and all, don’t know jack-shit of what happens in real life when real Socialism in imposed and just read fiction full of “feel good” promises that have no chance in hell to become reality.

People like me won’t suffer much for one simple reason: I’m old and retired, on a very modest income, and I live a life of austerity as it is. I’ve been spending all the money I saved during my work life and giving it to my children and grandchildren in the form of cash, so nobody can come in and try to wrestle inheritance money from them. My suffering will be a steep drop in the quality and quality of services offered by Medicare, but I already made my peace with my creator and I plan on being around only as long as I am self-sufficient and independent. I had a great life… I lived most of my adult life in a big ass house in the suburbs, central A/C running 24×7, I drove big cars that offered all the comfort I wanted, and I traveled most of the USA and through a number of countries in Europe in Business Class in huge jet planes. Like Sinatra would say: “I did it my way” so, really, nobody can take anything away from me at this point because, there’s nothing to be taken away.

The people that are going to take the blunt of this idiocy (democratic socialism)
are the GenX’s and everybody that came after them. Russia got saddled with this nefarious system in 1917 and it took them 74 years (1991) to get rid of it. So if you’re arrive to Socialist hell when you’re older than 5 years old you are pretty much guaranteed to spend the rest of your life in misery.

“Watch what you pray for, you might get it”