Man Drowns As Politically Correct Passengers Struggle To Describe What Just Went Overboard

Via The Babylon Bee

SAN DIEGO, CA—While sailing off the La Jolla coast Friday, a man tragically drowned after falling off a boat and being lost at sea. He could have been saved, but the other passengers who witnessed him topple over the railing spent too long debating what to yell to inform the captain that he had fallen.

“Human overboard? Person overboard? Generic sentient entity overboard?” one man mused as he sipped a strawberry daiquiri. “I don’t want to be offensive here. We’ve got to be careful.”

The woman sitting nearby him agreed. “We could just, like, do jazz hands or something and hope the captain notices?” They tried that for a while but it didn’t work. “Hmmm.”

For the next hour, as the boat sailed farther and farther away from the drowning man, the two worked brainstormed a comprehensive list of everything they could say that wouldn’t offend anyone.

They came up with lots of ideas:

  • Non-gender-conforming person overboard
  • Another member of the patriarchy is perishing don’t save him
  • Someone is dying but we’re not sure what xis pronouns are
  • The sea is angry today, my diverse friends
  • ARRRRR shiver me timbers thar be drownin thing in that thar water
  • IT’S MA’AM OVERBOARD
  • Thar xe blows
  • Vaguely human-shaped object overboard

The passengers eventually settled on “something happened to some person” but it was too late.

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Anonymous
Anonymous

Torpedo the whole boat and drown all of them !
This has to be bullshit !

Guy White
Guy White

Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect. Your intellect is UNchaste!

Steve C
Steve C

Torpedo the whole boat and drown all of them !
This has to be bullshit !

The Babylon Bee is a sarcasm website.

sar·casm (sär′kăz′əm) n. – A cutting, often ironic remark intended to express contempt or ridicule.

You’ve heard of this?

SeeBee
SeeBee

It is pretty difficult to parse fact from fiction nowadays.

Leon Reyes
Leon Reyes

Not hard, SeeBee. There was a woman i Britain who warned the person in the movie that something bad was about to happen because the ominous music anticipated it. You too, can rely on the Babylon Bee tagline to tell if it is fiction.

SeeBee
SeeBee
MrLiberty
MrLiberty

Not much different from the woman with a beard who came into the ER complaining of abdominal pains and claiming to be a man. Her lies and gross ignorance meant that the doctor approached her condition in ignorance and it cost her baby its life. Mental illness is a serious problem in our society these days.

NoThanksIJustAte
NoThanksIJustAte

I can almost hear that dead baby’s sigh of relief!

MrLiberty
MrLiberty

Yeah, it is hard to imagine how much WORSE life would have been with that couple of freaks.

Leon Reyes
Leon Reyes

Who would fuck a chick with a beard?

MrLiberty
MrLiberty

An equally messed up man.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Uhh muh Slim?

Anonymous
Anonymous

Many Democrats.

22winmag - Yankee by birth - Southerner by choice
22winmag - Yankee by birth - Southerner by choice

Don’t laugh.

When foreign military forces and barbarians start to kick down the doors to America, they will find women and children ruling over men who are so beaten down and pathetic, they will be disappointed at not having a real enemy to defeat.

Or will we have Red Dawn (1984)?

Real foreign soldiers and mercs from places like NK may be landing soon. Trump surrendered to NK and will be given explicit instructions to *stand down* the U.S. military in the near future, at a very inopportune moment, like last time, and the time before that, and the time before that.

KaD
KaD
KaD
KaD
Daniel Silvan
Daniel Silvan

I like the way you think.

e.d. ott
e.d. ott

The Berlin Wall worked for decades.
Why do you think the Left would be so resistant to the obvious?

ragman
ragman

That’s exactly why (((they))) don’t want us to have ‘em.

Pouncekitty
Pouncekitty

Very funny, but tragically accurate. This is how these empty headed Leftists think, if you can call it thinking. Obsessed with race, gender, ethnicity, they overlook that we are all human beings. Leftists are the scum of the earth.

Max Brand
Max Brand

Flotsam or jetsam off the stern, sir!

nkit
nkit

comment image

nkit
nkit

comment image

Nicklas Lydstrom
Nicklas Lydstrom

You think?

nkit
nkit

comment image

nkit
nkit

Nothing like crisp dills soaked in Tennessee moonshine…

ordo ab chao
ordo ab chao

“We could just, like, do jazz hands or something and hope the captain notices?”

Fake News !

Everybody knows that when all hope is slipping away and utter defeat looms, it’s Spirit Fingers that the real pros turn to !

annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJV6aR6ZLtA

Taras 77
Taras 77

This seems to be a suitable article to allow for this link, posted without comment:

https://www.rgj.com/story/news/2019/07/10/miriam-adelson-wants-book-trump-bible-possible/1693850001/

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