Experts Warn We Have Only 12 Years Left Until They Change The Timeline On Global Warming Again

Via The Babylon Bee

WORLD—Climate experts have solemnly warned that we only have twelve years left until they change the dates on global warming again.

“If we don’t take action, then in 12 years we will have to explain why the world hasn’t ended and come up with a new number,” one UN scientist warned. “This is a very serious threat, and we urge everyone to hand control of the economy to the government immediately before we have no more time left to change the timeline again.”

The scientific consensus is that roughly 10-12 years from now, the world will be flooded with new doomsday predictions. This can all be avoided if we overhaul the economy and become socialists, according to non-political, unbiased sciencey type guys.

“Should we not change our ways, our old predictions will melt, dangerously raising the chance of us having to move the goalposts again,” said Al Gore. “Do you really want me to write another book, film another movie, and go on another tour in my private jet just because you dingbats couldn’t be bothered to alter your lifestyles? I don’t think so. Let’s all get on board with this 12-year figure, or we’ll have to push back the date again.”

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10 Comments
old white guy
old white guy
August 2, 2019 8:04 am

I will suggest that the planet will be here for a few billion more years, whether or not man will, well, that is another thing.

gatsby1219
gatsby1219
  old white guy
August 2, 2019 8:52 am

You don’t believe the climate lie, but you believe the Jesuit lie.

Weird…

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  gatsby1219
August 2, 2019 10:44 am

The firmament was beautiful last night.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn5kuDdeGzs

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
August 2, 2019 11:13 am

I have been watching this moving target for 40 years, or so and it is always just out of reach. It is a lot like the slot machines at a casino – the red 7’s are only off by one line, but one more pull and they will fall into place.

AC
AC
August 2, 2019 12:07 pm

The worst part of Global Warming™ was when Al Gore strangled the last polar bear.

comment image

robert weston
robert weston
August 2, 2019 1:17 pm

I think twelve years is far too optimistic. It’s more like four or five.
Since I am a good guy I will buy your beachfront property from you now before it becomes worthless.
Why do I do it? Because I am a good guy.
Al Gore, probably.

Anonymous
Anonymous
August 2, 2019 1:21 pm

Christ’s Kingdom on Earth is eternal, and so is the completely restored curse, sin and death free new creation redemmed by the blood of the Lamb.

Psalm 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
Ecclesiastes 1:4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.

Navyman
Navyman
August 2, 2019 2:41 pm

I suggest we launch air conditioning units into the atmosphere…Buy Carrier stock now!

Leo Smith
Leo Smith
August 2, 2019 2:47 pm

Experts in Pedophilia maybe.

TampaRed
TampaRed
August 2, 2019 4:39 pm