Chick-Fil-A Trades Adoring Christian Fans For Outraged Mob That Won’t Be Appeased Until Their Every Demand Is Met

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—Chick-fil-A has said it will stop making donations to Christian groups that oppose the LGBTQ movement.

The move is said to be a “good trade” as Chick-fil-A has sacrificed its Christian fans in favor of an outraged mob that will stop at nothing to destroy them.

Restaurant spokespeople say they believe this move will be enough to appease the LGBTQ community and aren’t worried about further demands from the mob until Chick-fil-A is groveling at the outraged leftists’ feet.

“In no way will this backfire on us,” said Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy. “Surely the left will be entirely appeased by this move. They will definitely forgive us right away and welcome us as one of them. In no way will they hold our past activities against us. This is much better than our previous Christian audience, who were always adoring us and never protesting us.”

Cathy said the Christian fans have been great, but it’s boring just having loyal fans who support you through thick and thin, and he’d much rather have fans who stage die-ins and cancel you when you don’t cave in.

“Sometimes you just want to be loved by a group that protests you for years and calls you a bigot,” he added, shrugging.

At publishing time, a source had confirmed that Chick-fil-A was paid a sizable bribe of thirty pieces of silver to defund the Christian organizations.

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Hardscrabble Farmer
Hardscrabble Farmer

One more checked off the list.

SeeBee
SeeBee

Pocketbook Adjudication. I am saving a fortune.

AC
AC

Chick-Fil-A caving to the demands of Big Fag, is just True Conservatism in action.
https://national-justice.com/op-ed-conservatives-lack-zeal

Chick-fil-A Caves To Big Fag

Chick-fil-A Caves To Big Fag

Iska Waran
Iska Waran

Is there any company or product that the LGBTQ’s hate? I’d like to start buying their stuff. I’m guessing that maybe the gays aren’t real big on, say, ice augers for fishing, but there’s probably no ACME Hetero Augers company out there.

Hardscrabble Farmer
Hardscrabble Farmer

Tools would be a good start.

TampaRed

how much is a subscription to playboy?

Steve
Steve

The Salvation Army is one of the very few groups I give to. Most suck ass.
I’m disappointed Chicky.

Duck N. Cover
Duck N. Cover

Agree. I’ve worked with lots of groups over the years and The Salvation Army is the real deal. They provide soup to the hungry and blankets to the cold and they hardly spend anything to run the organization.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot

S A has a very low administrative expense ratio, while the Red Cross has one that approaches that of the Clinton Cash Laundry.

Anonymous
Anonymous

This sounds like a lot of hooey to me . Why bother with less than 10% of the population that are obviously either full of shit , hard core unemployable or mentally ill

Bilco

When I here of a business cow towing to these weirdos.I just put them on a list of the ones I will not spend my currency at. That is really the only way to fight it.The list is growing.

Anonymous
Anonymous

And i had just tried chick fila for the first time couple weeks ago and found it better than most fast food, alas chick fila i hardly knew thee, que taps

Thunderbird
Thunderbird

maybe true colors coming out?

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