Democrat Finally Releases Something Of Substance

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The nation rejoiced as a Democrat finally released something of substance yesterday.

Democrats have been criticized for not releasing statements or policy positions of any weight or substance recently, but Rep. Eric Swalwell changed all that last night, releasing something that definitely had some substance to it.

“Finally, the Dems are getting serious about pushing out things beyond just empty policy proposals,” said one pundit after watching the footage of Swalwell. “It’s encouraging to see some Democrats move beyond empty talking points and put the shards of a real, hefty policy platform together.”

“I don’t mean to raise a stink about this, but all these Dems still in the race are all vapor. They’re all smoke and mirrors. I’m the real deal,” the rep said, pointing to specific policy proposals he has that are much better than those of the candidates who are still in the race. For instance, while many Democrats have suggested passing a gas tax, Swalwell said he will cut out the middle man and just pass the gas.

Swalwell really dropped a bomb on Democrats’ talking points, nuking his own party’s crappy, vaporous ideas. “These Democrats are all full of hot air, just dangling in the wind. But not me. I’m just having an absolute blast, and I think real progressives will greet my ideas with thunderous applause when they see I’m really cooking with gas.”

Swalwell also said he doesn’t always weigh in on things, sometimes preferring the “silent but deadly” approach. “We really need to cut the crap and offer people something that doesn’t smell fishy.”

There was a real flap over Swalwell’s comments, but most Dems agree it’s time to flush out bad ideas and replace them with ideas that won’t be poo-pooed by the masses.

“Sorry for my frankness,” the rep said later. “But sometimes you just have to let it all out.”

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9 Comments
Hardscrabble Farmer
Hardscrabble Farmer
November 19, 2019 8:06 pm

Eric Shartwell

Walter Johnson
Walter Johnson
  Hardscrabble Farmer
November 20, 2019 12:54 am

Never trust a… democrat… or republican…

nkit
nkit
November 19, 2019 9:07 pm

comment image

comment image

The wonder of it all
The wonder of it all
  nkit
November 21, 2019 10:02 am

Funny how that scandal was swept unde the carpet with media support.

mark
mark
November 19, 2019 10:12 pm

Is This What’s Left of the Impeachment Process, #FartGate – Bad Gas?. The most intelligible thing to come out of Swalwell in years …

Eric Swalwell Denies Emitting Massive Fart While Discussing the Impeachment on MSNBC, the End Is Near

Suds
Suds
  mark
November 19, 2019 10:28 pm

Good thing Uncle Joe wasn’t in the vicinity. He might’ve put his hands on that boy’s shoulders, and leaned in for a whiff & sniff.

RiNS
RiNS
November 20, 2019 8:45 am

That was the most compelling statement Shartwell has made in CONgress

Miles Long
Miles Long
  RiNS
November 21, 2019 5:04 pm

It was the dog.

TS
TS
November 20, 2019 10:42 am

Just toeing the party line, and repeating their talking points.