WASHINGTON, D.C.—Former National Security Adviser John Bolton now says he will testify in Trump’s impeachment trial in exchange for a large bucket of fish.
Bolton emerged from the icy polar waters to say he will testify as long as Congress provides ample supplies of cod and marine mollusks.
“I will provide my testimony to the Senate, should they desire, in exchange for a nice bucket of cod, some sea cucumbers, and delicious, soft mollusks,” Bolton said in a statement. “Mmmm, delicious mollusks. So soft and so yummy. A fine treat. Very fine, yes. Maybe the finest. Ah, you haven’t lived until you’ve feasted on clams in the untamed wilds of the sea, untouched by humans, in all its savage majesty.”
“Oh, to be at sea again…” Bolton looked off into the distance longingly.
Bolton then began to grunt and bark as he drooled uncontrollably, thinking about the delicious polar foods he’s had since retiring and rejoining his family of walruses in the sea.
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Smelt and minnows.
Nah, that Bolton is a bottom feeder all the way.
Besides, didn’t he have to sign a non-disclosure agreement / confidentiality agreement when he left gubbermint service? Guy was the fucking National Security Advisor FFS and should have to keep his gob shut forever, no?
Yale alumni, foreign policy advisor to non-other than Mitt Romney in 2012 and Director of the Project for the New American Century, what else do you need to know about this chicken-hawk lawyer swamp monster?
He would betray America for Israel .He has already done this.
‘I have no shame ‘ – Bolton
John Bolton doesn’t want any fish..He just wants to nuke Iran..and Syria, and Russia, Afghanistan..Iraq…and finish Libya off too…
Who’s the bigger fool, Bolton? Or the guy who put him in such a position of power and influence?
I agree with Chewie.
Who doesn’t agree with Chewie?
Everybody on the planet knew Bolton was a neocon psychopath, except Trump apparently.
Exactly! WTF was Trump thinking when he appointed this asshole?
So ultimately it comes down to he said/he said, with nobody else in the room except a guy who wants to wage war against the entire world, and the idiot who gave him the job in the first place. Win goes to Trump on this one. Who could ever trust the word of someone who deserves to be hanging by his genitals in Gitmo. The albino walrus adds nothing to the conversation. And Biden still ADMITS to a quid pro quo with Ukraine.
Stop insulting Walrus’ like that please
Sorry. I thought that albino walruses were only a population of one – this asshole. I now see that they do otherwise exist in nature. And they are ALL more deserving of continuing on this planet than he is.