DAYTONA BEACH, FL—After yesterday’s race was rained out, presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg made a surprise visit to the Daytona 500 today as part of his campaign. “I saw a lot of people gathered in one place having fun,” Bloomberg told reporters, “which seemed a clear indication I needed to come by and fix things.”
When Bloomberg arrived at the race, he was shocked to see cars driving around at extremely unsafe speeds. With the help of police, Bloomberg began to pull aside all the cars and hand out tickets to the drivers. After enough hefty fines were handed out, all the NASCAR drivers were soon obeying the speed limit.
“Isn’t this good, clean, safe fun?” Bloomberg asked the crowd, before turning to some cars to shout, “No tailgating!”
The crowd did not seem to share Bloomberg’s enthusiasm, as the 100,000 in attendance all began to boo him at once. After enough bribes were handed out, though, the booing was reduced to a low murmur.
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NASCAR went down the hole in the outhouse when they forgot the South.
nascar has also gone anti gun–
Maybe mini-Mike will linger for a while and find himself in the jet wash of Air Force 1.
I heard he did not meet the minimum height requirements to ride aboard AF-1.
He was also seen handing out tickets for possession and sales of large sodas. How anyone could ever embrace this totalitarian is a complete mystery. How anyone could spend 3 years screaming about a billionaire “buying” the White House and then embrace a billionaire with 10 times the money of Trump, who is actively “buying” the nomination is another mystery. But Americans are in general, idiots…..so….
Darlington dropped my screen when they turned it into a three race merry go round….The Indianapolis 500 (Americas Race) lost interest when it became a World Wide Race and we lost some American Hero Role Models for kids……..