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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Click to visit the TBP Store for Great TBP Merchandise
Love this sign…right around the curve from the local biker bar.
And let’s hear it for MOM!!!!
Moms are wonderful!
I LOVE DOGS !
Me too!
Put down the cell phone and DRIVE , Fuckwit !
That public transportation vehicle clearly swerved to cause that collision.
I’ve decided to vote for Bernie!
I have this recurrent dream of balls flying at my face. I wonder what it means?
That’s me climbing over you to get to the bathroom three times a night.
The new Mustang comes with power brakes.
You should be. She’s from Ontario.
What is she praying for? A longer shirt and pants that still have the knees intact OR a night with BobP.? You decide……
Hey, how are you having my fantasies?
Bob, I want that sweater.
Sure, honey, as long as I can have what’s in her sweater.
Who actually sits dressed like that, or not.
The yellow line will protect me.
That’s what all liberals believe .
Never take the first train after it snows.
I’ve been to that beach / poison gas pavilion! It’s even more surreal than that sign lets on. The island is Okunoshima and it’s covered in tame rabbits that chase you around for food. You have to watch where you walk to avoid accidentally kicking them.
I did not know rabbits were carnivores.
If Bloomberg were a cat.
That just about sums it up.
A smoker’s version of beer pong.
Smokers are the coolist.
Doing a little lip reading?
I think she’s hinting at something.
Pap smear?
“Want’ a see a smoke-ring trick?”
The boy got lucky that time . But there went 8 of his 9 lives .
Ass SUV driver.
I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood, something that could never, ever possibly destroy us.
Ray, what kind of childhood had rolling pumpkins in it?
Attack of the killer tomatoes ! ( or pumpkins )
Let’s eat, grandma.
Let’s eat grandma.
Punctuation has its proper place too.
That’s the back of my neck when a TBP Shitfest get’s heated.
That’s every hair on my body reacting to that young lady above taking off her panties.
According to Creepy Uncle Joe, his legs do that in the pool when all the little kids brush their hands over them. It’s on audio video somewhere.
T M I
That’s the hairs on Bob’s penis when I undress.
Correction: that’s the hairs on the back of my neck when you undress. Babe, you raise my hackles.
How to make “bloody lemonade.”
We call it pink lemonade in Canada.
His friends call him 7 and 7/8ths.
Cowboy up.
Literally.
Don’t call her a cowgirl, until you’ve seen her ride.
Everyone should first learn to ride bareback. I have no doubt I could teach her the fundamentals.
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous…..
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (mostly male but not all) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. “Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
3. “Can you hear me NOW?”
4. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
5. “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”
6. “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”
7. “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…”
8. “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”
9. “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!
10. “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”
11. “You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”
12. “God, now I know why I am not gay.”
13. “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up here?”
Long ago and far away (I was about 21 or so) I had a colonoscopy done, because of some really bad digestive tract issues. Complete procedures from mouth to anus and everything in between. That was back in the day – and Naval doctors, to boot – when there was no anesthesia and the colonoscope was a fine device nicknamed ‘The Silver Stallion’. Just before they started, as I was buns up kneeling, I looked back at the doctor and said, “I better not feel two hands on my shoulder.” I thought it was funny as hell, but he got seriously pissed. The corpsman about lost it.
TS,
Here is a trapping fail…
I had an incident trapping yet another raccoon tearing up my barn, terrorizing my barn cat Tiger and eating his food, knocking over my garbage can containing the fish food by my pond, so I trapped the rascal, probably the 15th Raccoon the last 7 years.
I killed him with quick mercy, double tap to the head with a .22. Raccoons have a built in GPS you cannot relocate them (Possums don’t so I just relocate them) I have tried relocating Raccoons, they are back and into mischief in a couple of days.
But, I cut my hand on the cage when dumping his body out. (Should have worn gloves…duh).
Went to my VA doctor yesterday for something else and told the doctor the story about the cut, as my tetanus shot time was in doubt…after the story he called in the top doctor…they questioned me closely about the incident. Funny looks on their faces.
Well it seems 100% of the Raccoons in my area are considered infected with rabies. My case was low risk, because the Raccoon had not bit me, but because the raccoon was in the cage for maybe 24 hours (he tore around in it as usual I had it staked) there is no way to know if any hair, saliva or blood was on the part of the cage I cut myself on. They said it would only take a microscopic virus to do it.
I was told if I didn’t get treated for rabies. And I had it…in a month or so I could end having taps being played over me, there is no test to check for rabies, and Rocky’s head/brain was useless to check for rabies as it had been a week.
Hmmm…
Not being a big fan of taps…yesterday I had 3 shots for rabies and a needed tetanus shot, get a 4th rabies shot on Sunday, a 5th on Thursday, and a final 6th a week later.
Never a dull day on the farm.
Of course my wife and daughter were upset so I immediately texted them this poem from the VA ER just before the treatment to communicate my state of mind:
THE REVENGE OF ROCKY RACCOON
Rocky Raccoon stepped into my trap
Only to find the flap…….Closed behind him
He said with a grin…I may not win
But I’ll send this angry farmer far
Maybe even to the VA ER!
The bright side…if I have not gone to the VA for another reason, casually mentioning the incident because I might be out of the safe range of my tetanus shot timing for the gash…I could be walking around with rabies…and not know it!
Counting my blessings…GOD is GOOD…GIG!
Now, Stucky taught us that the proper elimination for a racoon is a 2×4. None of that sissified .22 stuff.
There’s always something, huh? Yes, to those who believe and trust, God is most certainly good, and usually in very unexpected times and ways.
Word!
Yea man, I’m a Psalm 91 guy from way back…with good reason, and amazing results during more than one near death experience, but after this rabies exposure…next time I trap another Rocky Raccoon Rascal I might be wearing a Hazmat outfit!
By the way I think Psalm 91 has some direct Coronavirus implications.
This is a good read of true experiences.
I have to deal with cottage chewing porcupines and a .22 works fine. I tried a piece of wood but that only had quills stuck to it for a few weeks after the porcupine ran off quicker than I thought they possible.
On the other hand, if you cover a stump with salt just before a rain shower, the porcupines will remove it for you, free.
Back when I was 14 or 15, we had a dead cow way out behind the barn, far enough away where the dogs wouldn’t go mess with her. There’s always a dead animal somewhere around a ranch.
Anyway, we set traps for coyotes, maybe 6 around the body. When we went to check the traps one morning, our dogs were with us. One was damn smart, but he got into one of the traps before we knew it. He was yipping and screaming, as you can imagine. Before we could go spring him, the other one – dumber than a box of rocks poured into a posthole – jumped on the first one and started fighting. I have no clue why, they never fought anyplace else. Anyway, the dumb one flailed around and got into another trap while he was trying to beat up the first one. Dad was so disgusted he just ignored the second one until we got the first one out. Who immediately jumped on the second one and got re-caught. I swear Dad just about shot both of them, right then and there. I know he was thinking about it.
Years ago I heard Paul Harvey tell of a rancher who had a problem with wolves killing his livestock. After several losses the rancher sets a leg-hold trap and catches the offending wolf. Thinking about how many animals he had lost he decided that shooting the wolf would not bring satisfaction so he somehow subdues the wolf and attaches a stick of dynamite around its neck and lights the fuse. As only Paul Harvey could tell the story the rancher then…released the wolf from the trap… watched as it ran off……and took shelter….. underneath …………the rancher’s brand new Chevrolet pick-up.
and that…is the REST OF THE STORY…
Would you care to know how I get rid of coons and opossums Mark? It is 100% effective and easy
Sure OT…I’m always game to learn…especially as I am now a human pin cushion.
You can purchase it in smaller containers than the one below. I use an old cool whip bowl about 3/4 full with Coca Cola and sprinkle the bait in fairly liberal. Coons and opossums will be laying within 20 ft next morning graveyard dead. Never have my cats or dags even tried it. But I would recommend chaining them safely for good measure, although I never have. A friend of mine raises about 2 acres of sweet corn every year and this is what he does also, he has never found a cat or dog either, just opossums and coons. He will usually get 30+ coons per year.
https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/starbar-golden-marlin-fly-bait
OK, I found this, Tractor Supply is one of my favorite stores, serious poison.
Found this as well – I have an 8ft. chain link fence around my garden…and my chicken coop is a reverse chicken penitentiary, it’s the barn (have a beautiful barn cat living there) they get in. As well on the front porch for one other outside cat’s food who lives there.
The cats keep the mice down to keep the Copperheads moving on.
https://conservativepoliticalforum.com/survival-tips/how-to-kill-a-raccoon-that's-raiding-your-garden/
By all means, OT, always good to learn something new.
Military Dr’s have no sense of humor . I would have lost it too !
Almost 60. No colonscopy, won’t do it. Might do the shit in the box mail in thingy though.
I bet the guy that delvers mail to that place must hate his route.
Better than the route the proctologist has to take.
You should do it Bro . Nowadays it’s no big thing . I’ve had several,
put you out and they use a camera on a flexible wand , no bigger than your little finger .
You won’t feel anything . Wake up , it’s done .
You won’t even know they’ve been in there . They send you the pictures in the mail .
Better than dying from colon cancer .
How did FF devolve into the intrusion of the male asshole instead of hot wimens.
Because we gots to take care of ourselves Bra , or there won’t be any of us around
to appreciate the hot wimens .
Or the one I told my Dr. ” does this mean we’re going steady now ? “
Yup, they puke and shit over you all the way up, but they’re worth it.
Didn’t want you to think all could post was dogs in the snow.
She must be Canadian.
Yep, nothing like livin’ in the bush.
Have you all noticed that womenz seem to lose their pants a lot since cell phones came on the market? Could there be a connection?
Its a good connection.
Because there’s money to be made from all of them getting vaccinating before entering the school building.
Just ask Al Gore , he got rich off this con game .
Untouchables must de-train before reaching the city but the train slows to 30 km/hour for their convenience.
Now he should go buy Lotto tickets , because this is the luckiest day of his life !