SACRAMENTO, CA—California legislators have recently proposed a bill forcing department store owners to only sell toys that actively set out to confuse children on their sexuality and gender.
The law will ensure no more anti-science “boy aisles” or “girl aisles” like the ones used in deplorable states. Now shoppers can search the entire store before finding the gender nonconforming toy that is right for them.
“In these critical and formative years of a child’s development they need to be exposed to confusing and downright bizarre depictions of other males and females,” said Governor Gavin Newsom. “The science is settled and we all know that children are in no way impressionable or disproportionately influenced by the toys they see.”
The goal is to take perfectly happy, healthy children and cause then to wonder if their sex is really right for them. Lawmakers hope to finally replace thousands of years of understood biology and replace it with ever changing progressive ideas on sexuality and gender.
This change will even apply to toys that have traditionally targeted one gender for decades and put an end to reinforcing harmful norms created by the patriarchy. “If they want their toys sold here then they are simply going to have to create something that makes kids unsure of their identity,” said local store owner Preston Leslie who’s enthusiastic about the change. “It’s time for some fresh, ambiguously gendered toys that can help kids express themselves and destroy their worldview.”
The following are currently on the approved toy list:
Mustache Barbie
Lightning McDragQueen
Bikini Rambo
Mr. & Mr. Potato Head
Furby
Qui-Gon Gender & Non-Binary C-3PO
Princess Charming
Iron Person & Spiderthey
“I’m proud to be a part of this historic change that will undoubtedly improve the mental health of our children,” added Governor Newsom.
At publishing time, it was reported that store owners failing to comply will be sent directly to sexuality reeducation camps.
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you shouldn’t give them ideas.
Here’s an idea. One nation…
Mr. Potatohead should be the MASCOT for the tranny community. You get a potato, a packet of inter-changable parts, a small coring tool for hollowing out cavities, and a packet of sour cream and chives for when Mr/Ms Potatohead inevitably commits suicide and you have to eat it.
And here’s Barbie and Ken doing what only anatomically-abiguous dolls should be doing:
“…a packet of sour cream and chives for when Mr/Ms Potatohead inevitably commits suicide…”
– Mr Liberty
ROFLMAO
Then following up with the great pic of Ken and Barbie.
You have made tonight’s insomnia most drole and worthwhile.
Happy to help. The Ken and Barbie pic was one of the tamest I could find. Wow. You wouldn’t believe what some people do to their dolls (or are they called ‘action figures’ now?).
When there are double negatives in the headline I hardly ever read the story, on the assumption that the editor really, really wants to confuse the reader. But, for the Bee I make an exception. The claim of Guv N-“The science is settled” reminds me an awful lot-stylistically speaking that is-of hearing exactly that phrase from The Halfrican; over and over. Therefore, this story must be true.
QED
Probably a spoof article however a state that has personified lunacy to a point where most city streets are stained with human waste and their shit and piss littered about with blue tarped homeless hard luck stories and mentally ill drug addicted Street wanderers !
Waiting for one big earth quake and the tsunami to follow to wipe the slate clean !
Even God Jesus Buddha and Allah , pick one . Will only put up with so much bull shit and then WHAM BOOM ZING
I wouldn’t be surprised if this becomes an actual California law by the end of the year.
My late father use to say, Don’t go deaf or blind because you haven’t seen or heard it all yet.
The other thing is you can’t fix crazy but only one way.
With all of the issues; power outages, rolling brownouts, fire starting, etc, PG&E (Pacific Gas & Electric Co), probably couldn’t even support a modest Electro-Convulsive Therapy (ECT) program for Crazyfornia– and man they could shure use one about now.
It will never totally fix crazy but one must always start somewhere.
Look up amygdalotomy. There might be enough power to perform one of these on the problem folks.