U.S.—Americans have reported they’re very optimistic about the stimulus package passed by Congress last week. In particular, people all around the country are excited to get paid with a little bit of the money that they paid the federal government already.
Americans from all walks of life said they couldn’t wait to receive a check with a small percentage of the money the government had already taken from them.
“I can’t wait to get that $1,200.00 check of my own money,” said one man in Texas, rubbing his hands together. “Surely this will get the economy back on track.”
From the rich to the poor, American citizens spent many hours dreaming of all the things they will spend their newfound riches on. “With $1200, I could save enough to pay my taxes on time this year,” said one woman in Los Angeles. “Thanks so much, Congress. You’re the real heroes here.”
A small percentage of the population said they thought it would be way more efficient for the economy if the government just didn’t take the money in the first place. These people were shouted down as “libertarian conspiracy theorist wackos” and told to move to Somalia.
Sadly, by the time all the administration costs, government pet projects, and handouts were factored in, the stimulus each American was to receive became a negative amount, forcing Congress to raise taxes to pay for a new stimulus bill.
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Dear Lord, please don’t let them censor The Babylon Bee. The TBP contingent need a good laugh every so often. Thank you. Amen.
Sleep easy fellas
And there you have it! Right there in Black and White! The so called Socialist Security Number is in actuality a TAX ID number! Remember when the original legislation forbade the use of the SSN as an ID? Of course, the what me worry Fed Gov doesn’t heed no steeken laws!
Gold prospector John Dubriel and his dog. Klondike gold rush 1899.
When the Burning Truth of Government Theft becomes humorous, its obvious we are deep in the Gallows stages. But Somalia is looking better every day….
Let’s see: $1,200 + $1,200 + $500 + $500 = $3,400.
Going to buy stocks and get rich like those Senators!
Somalia. Every time you even suggest that government shouldn’t be doing something, Somalia is the response. I just want to slug these pieces of shit in the face. But generally they are government types with their police protection.