On Used Cars, Haircuts, and Buyers Beware

By Doug “Uncola” Lynn via TheBurningPlatform.com

In the mid-nineteen-eighties, while contemplating two post-graduate opportunities, I needed to earn some fast cash so I thought I’d give selling cars a try.  Why not?  From a young age I had a love of cars, motorcycles, and airplanes.  And camping. In fact, I’ve traveled through 41 of 50 states, camped in a fair percentage of them, and once even worked at a motor-home dealer in the Pacific Northwest detailing rigs. After a few months, I worked my way up to sales and sold my first motorhome to some Seventh Day Adventists on my eighteenth birthday.

Oh man. I have so many stories. My coworkers were mechanics who were Hells Angels.  I stopped two of them one day from abusing a stray cat that I later adopted, even though I hated cats at the time. Although I earned the respect of those bikers, I’m sure things would have escalated if they didn’t have more respect for my older brother, an ex-jungle fighter who’s crazy like a fox and quicker than a Puff Adder.

But, I digress.

Selling cars was a different kind of challenge but, fortunately, I had some success “moving metal” and I eventually climbed the sales ladder from shady used car lots to selling new Chevrolets, Chryslers, Jeeps, and motor homes at three separate dealers in two states.  At the time it was better than getting dirty for a living and, soon, I was able to afford nice suits, silk ties, and having my shirts professionally dry-cleaned every week.  In the third article ever posted to my blog, I wrote about a few of my car experiences and they were good times indeed.  We’d sell cars by day and the wives and girlfriends would join us around the pool tables at night.

On a Friday while working at one of the shadier operations early in my career curve, I sold a very used Buick Riviera to a vivacious, and obnoxious, red-haired woman.  She thought I was so great, she sent her husband back the next day to buy a used Jeep.  Before they purchased each vehicle, I told them they were “as is” because it was clear they had extensive body repairs and that’s why they were priced so cheap.  But when the couple received the titles in the mail a few weeks later, they discovered both vehicles had been previously salvaged.  This was in the days before Carfax and VIN (Vehicle Identification Number) searches and, as stated heretofore, I was new to the biz and the owner of the dealership made Tony Soprano look Amish.

Still, to avoid a lawsuit, the dealer agreed to take back both vehicles and refund the money.  Which was all fine and dandy except when the red-haired tempest came back to the dealership, she screamed at me wildly as her husband awkwardly smirked and giggled like the gimp from Pulp Fiction.  And, Houston, we had a problem.  Because when I took off the license plates from the vehicle I just sold her, and put them back on her trade-in on the back lot – her old car wouldn’t start!

Now things were bad.  Real bad.  Her screams climbed an octave to the point she looked like Orphan Annie singing in an opera.

Fast forward a few months later. I needed a haircut and thought I’d try out a new place.  So I dropped in early one morning as they were opening up for the day.  The receptionist directed me to one of the barber chairs and wrapped a gown around my neck.  As I was staring at myself in the mirror, guess who appeared over my shoulder?   It was her!  The red-haired tempest.  Needless to say, my heart sank into my stomach.  She was a barber.  I thought she was a hairdresser.  Well, it turned out she was both.

To make a long story short, she did end up cutting my hair that day and over the next three decades. I supported and encouraged her as she opened up her own shop and she, additionally, styled my wife’s hair on our wedding day back when the Bush the Elder was president.  She also gave our children their very first haircuts.  Even now, she still cuts all of our hair and my kids, now grown, schedule their appointments with her around the times they’re in town.

Now fast forward to the COVID-19 shutdown.  All of the barbershops and hair salons in my region are closed (yes, we now have numerically assigned medical regions).  Nevertheless, I knew I could get a haircut at my leisure; albeit an illegal haircut alone in the redhead’s shop with the door locked and the curtains drawn shut.

Such are the times.

So, with all that in mind, I found myself nodding my head in the affirmative while reading a recent online article that referenced the following adage as being true (from The Dark Knight/Batman movie):

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Weird times, indeed.

It’s now become obvious the COVID-19 virus was hyped and propagandized to collapse the economy like building 7 on 9/11, shock Americans into submission and, even better – into self-imposed martial law.

Coronavirus has also served as a means to slow monetary velocity while delivering digital cash and collectivism to the people. Individual autonomy has been slayed and filleted. The collective decides what is “essential” and the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness has been subordinated to the longevity of octogenarians in nursing homes.

It’d be a great joke, if it was funny.

I remember how I was tricked by 9/11, even to the point of patriotically supporting foreign wars – as my own birthrights were subjugated under the guise of Homeland Security. I still remember the October 2001 Concert for New York City and how my kids and I were clapping our hands while jamming to Bon Jovi.

I was a fool.

Bill Gates has subsidized the World Health Organization (WHO) as the Governors of U.S. states have cited the declarations of WHO in their proclamations which have nullified the constitutional rights of American citizens. It means the founder of Microsoft, Inc. has become King of the United States.

Therefore, I’m sure you’ll understand why I refused to watch the One World Together at Home event sponsored by “Global Citizen and the World Health Organization” in order to support the “U.N. Foundation’s COVID-19 Response Fund”.  No thanks. I was not interested in an event that was later called “commie propaganda”.

Furthermore, last week, I heard on the radio how the state of Tennessee had six COVID-19 deaths the day prior, and it made me wonder how many in that state killed themselves that same day after losing their jobs. I mean, seriously, can you imagine if any form of death received the same media attention? And advertising works; because eight people in my area were gathered at a church on a recent Sunday when someone nearby called the authorities. The cops came, politely counted heads, and exited the building after realizing the gathering was less than 10 people. I know this happened because someone who was there told me.

To be sure, COVID-19 is any totalitarian dictator’s wet dream. It’s better than Christmas. It’s the gift that keeps on giving; like herpes. And it’s been offered, seemingly, right on time.

In recent days, I’ve heard many say:  “This, too, shall pass”.  But, honestly, I have a feeling it’s always going to be another two weeks. People will for a time maintain the hope for a return to normalcy, but I fear the good ole days will never be back.

In the words of the fictional and tyrannical President Snow of the dystopian Hunger Games stories:

“Hope, it is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it’s contained.”

In his book “1984”, George Orwell wrote the following:

“The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous.”

So I ask you: What if Flatten the Curve® was not meant to mitigate Coronavirus but, rather, to make it continuous?

And know this:  The two factors that exist in all dystopias, either real or fiction, are lies and fear. These provide a tainting effect that, like the wilt of a flower, progresses from vibrancy to black.   Or the way the clouds illuminate during peak sunset prior to them dimming into lumbering gray shadows; hovering overhead, like drones.

Undeniably, strange dystopias are glued together by illusions, delusions, dread and dismay.

I’ve written in past articles regarding the dubious origins of Cornonavirus®, how it’s been politicized, and how the rise of COVID-19 coincided perfectly with the end of the Ukrainian Impeachment Reality Show®.

Have you ever noticed how national emergencies occur immediately in the wake of U.S. Democrats embarrassingly baring their collective asses on global television?  In the aftermath of the 2016 election, it was Russiagate and Team Mueller.  After the Judge Kavanaugh Supreme Court nomination travesty, and just before the 2018 Midterm Elections, the Dems were saved by a mail-bomber with Trump stickers on his van, and a synagogue shooter as exemplifying the decline of America under Trump’s incendiary rhetoric and divisive politics.

The Democrats used these events and the Russian hacking lie to, themselves, hack an election and take control of the U.S. House. Not my congress.

Then, after the impeachment fail in early February 2020, COVID-19 has since dominated the headlines.  Right on schedule and just in time. Now there are new reports claiming the Democrats have the momentum to regain the senate majority this fall.  Why?  What did they do to win back the senate?

But, there I go again… falling into the old Left-Right binary thinking and false dichotomy.   See how subtly seductive are Hegelian polemics?

Because what if Trump was in on the ruse?   Moreover, there are those now actually pointing their fingers at the Q-anon phenomenon as being a psychological operation (PSYOP) staged by the intelligence community –  and not for noble purposes:

…the sort of partisan, pro-Trump “insider” information put out by QAnon directs “energy straight back into the conventional two-party political paradigm,” and as such does not threaten the ruling elite.

Think about it:  Candidate Trump called out the bankers for their bubbles. President Trump owned those bubbles. Why would he do that unless he knew the virus was coming to take him off the hook? An even better question is why did the international financial elite allow Trump off the hook when they had him balls to the wall and on public record for owning the markets? Why not pull the plug and blame Trump for his tax and trade policies?   And, perhaps most importantly, why would the establishment transition Trump into a COVID-19 “wartime president” while propping up Joe Biden with duct-tape and chewing gum in the EXACT same ways as they did Hillary?

Good questions.

In previous articles such as “Coronavirus Killed the Constitution…”, and “…Coronavirus has Hastened the Old Collectivism”, I speculated on Trump as “the great anesthetizer” and how the current national lockdown “had to happen under a Republican president” because “conservative Americans own the guns”.

And it seems the president has played the role as only a reality TV star can:

First he was the self-described “wartime president.” Then he trumpeted the “total” authority of the federal government. But in the past few days, President Trump has nurtured protests against state-issued stay-at-home orders aimed at curtailing the spread of the coronavirus.

Hurtling from one position to another is consistent with Mr. Trump’s approach to the presidency over the past three years. Even when external pressures and stresses appear to change the dynamics that the country is facing, Mr. Trump remains unbowed, altering his approach for a day or two, only to return to nursing grievances.

In the meantime, as we watch TV in the midst of our “sheltering in place”, it appears the politicians still, as always, really, really, really, want your guns:

Titled the “Gun Violence Prevention and Community Safety Act of 2020,” this bill would require all Americans to obtain a license before purchasing a firearm, treating our constitutional right to keep and bear arms as a privilege in which we must first get permission for from the federal government.

….the bill includes everything that the most radical anti-gunners want, short of an outright ban and repeal of the second amendment. It includes new age limits, red flag confiscations, increased taxes on guns and ammunition, an arbitrary ban on nearly all semi-automatic rifles, and the requirement of a federal firearms license.

– see also:  H.R.5717

So what’s the takeaway of this dystopian tale?  Here it is:  When looking for the Left Jab, beware of the Right Hook.  Or, in the words of the late comedian and satirist George Carlin:  “It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it”.

Don’t be fooled.

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Author: Uncola

I am one who has found the road less traveled while remaining a whiskered, whispering witness to the world. I hope what you just considered was worth the price and time spent. www.TheTollOnline.com View all posts by Uncola