FBI Hires Top-Rated Italian Bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli To Protect Ghislaine Maxwell

Via The Babylon Bee

BRADFORD, NH—Following the arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell for sex abuse charges, the FBI is taking no chances in keeping her safe while she awaits trial. Sparing no expense, the FBI has hired top-notch Italian bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli.

“It’s-a me, Clintonelli!” said the world-renowned bodyguard arriving at the prison.

Thanks to the particularly glowing reviews from high-profile individuals such as President Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew, all federal prison security checks were waived for Hiluigi. “There’s simply no one else that we trust to execute this job as she can.”

“Mamma mia, this simply will not do!” exclaimed Hiluigi Clintonelli as she forcefully cleared the room. She warned that anyone other than her could be a threat to Ghislaine’s life.

Clintonelli also connected all camera feeds to her personal server to ensure that all recorded video was properly secured.

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9 Comments
oldtimer505
oldtimer505
July 2, 2020 4:32 pm

This whole thing smells of CYA, tying up loose ends and the fish warp MSM will be there to do the honors of reporting it all. Time will tell but, I for one am not going to hold my breath thinking there will be justice done. She has to be crapping her pants knowing the trap door is about to fall on her.

swimologist
swimologist
July 2, 2020 4:50 pm

She’ll have a sudden cardiac arrhythmia or stroke and collapse without any last words.

AlwaysTrumperTampa
AlwaysTrumperTampa
July 2, 2020 5:38 pm

my guess is that she’ll be in a hi security facility & will be guarded by us marshals–

Lebowski
Lebowski
  AlwaysTrumperTampa
July 3, 2020 3:13 am

Haha Good one You mean like her pal Jeffy

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
July 2, 2020 7:16 pm

Of course the simpletons at the Babylon Bee misdirect everyone (again) to the Clintons. Just because the Clintons are psychopathic perverts doesn’t mean they were behind Epstein’s operation. Somebody at the Treehouse posted this. The speaker, Steve Pieczenik https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Pieczenik , has bona fide credentials. It’s a 7 minute video from 11 months ago and he names names and gives details.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R6-gUqNPi4I

Glock 1911
Glock 1911
July 2, 2020 10:34 pm

Either she will be whisked away in the middle of a camera failure, or, she’ll end up arkancided. Either way, I’m sure she knows its coming.

49/47
49/47
  Glock 1911
July 3, 2020 3:37 am

If she is smart she will already have sent out about a thousand thumb drives with the entire list of names.

Muscledawg
Muscledawg
July 3, 2020 5:03 am

If she is going to be arkancided, why wasn’t it done before she was arrested? It sure would have been cleaner for the perps. Both Jeff and her probably had dead man switches (thumbdrives).