That Creepy Old Weirdo In The Basement Will Never Debate Trump

Guest Post by Kurt Schlichter

That Creepy Old Weirdo In The Basement Will Never Debate Trump

There are a few safe bets in life – the sun will rise in the East, the mainstream media will tongue-bathe the Dems, the Never Trump sissies of the Ahoy crew will die alone, forgotten, and unloved – but there is no safer bet than on Joe Biden not taking the debate stage with Donald Trump.

If he does debate Trump, Grandpa Badfinger is toast. And if he doesn’t debate Trump, Grandpa Badfinger is also toast. Either way, that post-moderate muppet is a breakfast entrée. Dodging the debate is merely his least bad choice, sort of like going with chlamydia over syphilis.

The media and the Biden campaign are doing everything they can to avoid the moment where the public consensus coalesces around Biden’s obsolescence. You know how that goes. One day, a politician is defined by his positions. The next day, there’s a moment in time when a new perception gets locked in stone, where the mere mention of his name gets people nodding and a single word seems to define him forever. With Biden, the word will be “senile,” just like with Bill Clinton the word is “humidor.”

And Trump is going to define Slow Joe mercilessly, but not quite yet. Those of us swimming in the cesspool of politics every day see Trump’s gentle pokes about Rip van Wrinkled’s manifest mental deterioration, but it’s clear that Trump is holding his big guns in reserve for the moment. Why? Well, Trump certainly wants the Democrats to go all-in and formally nominate Joethuselah before he unleashes hell like Maximus upon my uppity German tribesman ancestors. Further, you don’t want to lower expectations so much that Oldfinger gets pronounced competent simply by appearing in public without drooling all over his bib.

But mostly, Trump knows that normal people aren’t paying attention yet. In September, they will take a break from trying not to be bankrupted by stupid pols panicking over the flu and from dealing with how their kids are not going to school because teacher unions members can’t take the same minimal risk that Trader Joe’s baggers have been enduring since Day One. When people start paying attention after Labor Day, they will be expecting to see Share A Beer Joe and instead see Share An Ensure Joe.

And the Dems know that Trump will then paint Biden in all the colors of the dementia rainbow.

They can’t not know it. Even the rare clips of the nominee show him unable to form a coherent sentence and, on the even rarer occasions where Ernst Stavros Biden leaves his basement lair, needing to be led around by his attendants. The guy is a lukewarm mess, and if the people around him cared for him at all, except as a Trojan horse to slip a bunch of commies into the White House, they would give him a big chocolate chip cookie and leave him to a dignified retirement of chasing squirrels around his backyard. But they don’t care about Joe, only about their own power. That’s why, if he’s elected, he’ll be put out to pasture faster than you can say “Twenty-Fifth Amendment.”

Imagine that addled crustacean up on the debate stage. It’s actually painful. First, they would have to get him dressed for the occasion, and you know he’d argue that he should be able to wear his bathrobe and black socks. Then someone would have to tie him to the lectern to ensure he didn’t wander off. His opening statement would be all about the need to get those damn kids off his lawn.

We all know an elderly relative who is just not with it anymore. It’s sad, and their own frustration often manifests in angry and incoherent outbursts. Remember “Look, fat, look, here’s the deal” and his push-up contest challenge? Yeah, America wants that guy with his infamous fingers hovering over the Big Red Button.

And who is the one guy who is unsurpassed in his ability to make Democrats mad, in both senses of the word? The very same guy who will be next to Biden on that stage.

So, what’s Biden going to say when Trump hits him about his son Hoover’s foreign entanglements with China, Ukraine and, at least in terms of powdery exports, Bolivia? And do not put it past Trump to get Biden sputtering by making it rain with references to Hoover’s controversial domestic entanglements – Biden’s unhinged responses to Trump’s references to the pole are sure to poll badly.

And you know that Tara Reade will get a front row seat in the Trump box.

Oh, and the Dim Dem is not going to do any better on the purely policy questions. How do you think Biden is going to go threading the needle on embracing the left’s sacred “Defund the Police” position without freaking out those safety-first suburban wine women he’s desperate to win? Or when he has to explain how everyone’s taxes are going up? Or how he would have done a much better job on the pangolin pandemic panic by not cutting off flights from China, and how the economy would have been much better if he had locked us down even tighter. You have to be at the top of your game to apply the lipstick to the slippery, squealing pig that is the Democrat’s 1972 redux platform, and this guy hasn’t seen the top of his game since, well, ever.

Now, the media is already prepping the battlefield for Biden to refuse to debate. It seems that every day, some lib outlet explains how we really don’t need debates anymore, a viewpoint that mysteriously popped up for the first time right now when a debate is nearly certain to be a disaster for the libs. Other media hacks caution that making the Democrat defend his program plays into Trump’s hands, which is certainly true, and therefore is probably not a compelling argument to people not already chugging the deep blue Kool-Aid.

There’s going to be some lame excuse for why he won’t debate. Maybe Biden and the rest will try to impose ridiculous conditions on the debate, like “Trump cannot speak” or “Trump must be fact-checked in real time during the debate by a panel of neutral, objective truth tellers from MSNBCNN, the WaPo and the NYT.” Maybe they will just announce that Biden refuses to share a stage with the President because to do so “will serve to normalize his racism, sexism, transphobia, Islamophobia, cisgender normativity, and more racism.” (My new book The 21 Biggest Lies about Donald Trump (and You!) reviews this greatest hits album of lib fibs).

Regardless of the excuse and its manifest lameness, the garbage media will certainly celebrate his refusal to debate and push the line that going Full Sir Robin is actually a brave step of bravery, courage, and more bravery. But normal people will be…skeptical. And Trump will spend October tweaking Hidin’ Biden on Twitter like the boss he is.

Now, I could be wrong about all this. Statistically, it has to happen someday. Perhaps that sinewy loser will stagger out onto the stage and try to go toe-to-toe with The Donald. We can only hope. And that stage will soon be sparkling clean because the Prezzy will mop the floor with him.

Either way, we win.

Get more hot, fresh, and unfiltered Kurt join Townhall VIP and get The 21 Biggest Lies about Donald Trump (and You!), now in audiobook format read by the great Tony Katz!

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25 Comments
Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
August 6, 2020 8:10 am

Trump was the citizens middle finger to the establishment. Badfinger Biden is the establishment’s middle finger to the citizens.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Glock-N-Load
August 6, 2020 10:36 am

Great analogy, G-N-L.

delow24
delow24
  Glock-N-Load
August 6, 2020 2:49 pm

I see him as more the procotlogy exam finger. Bendover Biden if you will…

Steve
Steve
August 6, 2020 8:33 am

In a related story. Sally Yates forgot who told her about the Logan act! Oh, it was Crazy Joe, Sally. How’d you “forget”that?
How much air time did CBS, NBC and CBS give to Sally’s testimony?
If you guessed ZERO seconds, congratulations you win a cupie doll.

Spell CHEKA
Spell CHEKA
  Steve
August 6, 2020 10:37 am

Right on, Steve.

(Except it is a “kewpie” doll.)

None Ya Biz
None Ya Biz
  Steve
August 6, 2020 2:10 pm

Sally caught early stage dementia from being close to Joe Biden…

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
August 6, 2020 8:39 am

Just this week, Creepy Old Joe said “I am forward looking to the debate”. Sounds like he might be getting a little dyslectic, as well as senile.

Trapped in Portlandia
Trapped in Portlandia
  TN Patriot
August 6, 2020 11:17 am

No, he’s speaking in Yoda talk.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Trapped in Portlandia
August 6, 2020 4:15 pm

Think of Yoda I did not.

Nothing but the truth.
Nothing but the truth.
August 6, 2020 8:52 am

Whatever your feelings on Trump , one needs to critically judge his performance on all his electioneering promises and what he has actually achieved over the past 4 years. And in truth he simply has not followed through on very much. Despite all the verbosity he spews out , his actions speak louder than any of his words. Worryingly he seems to be all for the mandatory vaccination agenda and has never denounced the fake virus for what it really is. Sadly I believe , he appears to be owned by the deep state and is simply no match for that evil, tyrannical juggernaut , being driven by the powerful elitists.

Common Cents
Common Cents
  Nothing but the truth.
August 6, 2020 8:57 am

So who do you suggest as a replacement?

Nothing but the truth.
Nothing but the truth.
  Common Cents
August 6, 2020 11:51 am

Truth is , there is nobody right now able to challenge the deep state and pull America back from this nightmare. A Ron Paul type would come closest , but their type has long since given up trying to restore the nation.

None Ya Biz
None Ya Biz
  Nothing but the truth.
August 6, 2020 2:14 pm

Let me be frank, if by some shear stroke of luck a Ron Paul or clone type person won the presidency, they would be dead the next day all thanks to the deep state. It is not that people like Ron Paul has given up trying to restore the nation, it is, to the point, a matter of survival and the plebes really don’t deserve the life of any true patriot.

RJ
RJ
  Nothing but the truth.
August 6, 2020 10:14 am

Kinda hard to accomplish much when both Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate are opposing everything you do. Remember “Trump’s” tax cut? Yeah, that was actually the Ryan-McConnell tax cut.

Lars
Lars
  RJ
August 6, 2020 2:33 pm

True, but he could have at least acted unitarily to support his supporters like the Proud Boys, now unjustly imprisoned for 15 yeats, or Jesse Assenge, now being tortured at Belmarsh UK at his DOJ’s behest.

And where are the indictments? Why does he appoint beneficiaries of the swamp like Barr and Durham to drain the swamp? Why no executive orders to stop DACA or work visas for Indians? Even if blocked, they would at least demonstrate an effort from his side. Why does his DHS ( maybe DOJ, I forget which ) declare White supremacists as the nation’s single most dangerous domestic terrorist threat?

delow24
delow24
  Nothing but the truth.
August 6, 2020 2:51 pm

If anything, it is miraculous that he has accomplished anything at all. Judges, reducing regulation and a few other things were accomplished with the most hostile set of people in the media, deep state, opposing party and his own party that have ever been put against a president in modern times.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Nothing but the truth.
August 6, 2020 4:18 pm

Name one thing he has done that has not been challenged. Even an EO negating an EO by 0bama was overturned by Roberts, the 3 libs and the corpse on SCOTUS

Edward
Edward
  Nothing but the truth.
August 8, 2020 2:42 am

You asked, “What has Trump done”? Are you ready?

What Trump has done as president…

Just the first 3 years…. what has he done? Other than dodging the darts the media and Pelosi have thrown?!?
What have PRESIDENT TRUMP and his cabinet accomplished? Here you go…settle in… the list is long…
* Trump recently signed 3 bills to benefit Native people. One gives compensation to the Spokane tribe for loss of their lands in the mid-1900s, one funds Native language programs, and the third gives federal recognition to the Little Shell Tribe of Chippewa Indians in Montana.
* Trump finalized the creation of Space Force as our 6th Military branch.
* Trump signed a law to make cruelty to animals a federal felony so that animal abusers face tougher consequences.?
* Violent crime has fallen every year he’s been in office after rising during the 2 years before he was elected.
* Trump signed a bill making CBD and Hemp legal.??
* Trump’s EPA gave $100 million to fix the water infrastructure problem in Flint, Michigan.
* Under Trump’s leadership, in 2018 the U.S. surpassed Russia and Saudi Arabia to become the world’s largest producer of crude oil.
* Trump signed a law ending the gag orders on Pharmacists that prevented them from sharing money-saving information.
* Trump signed the “Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act” (FOSTA), which includes the “Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act” (SESTA) which both give law enforcement and victims new tools to fight sex trafficking.?
* Trump signed a bill to require airports to provide spaces for breastfeeding Moms.
* The 25% lowest-paid Americans enjoyed a 4.5% income boost in November 2019, which outpaces a 2.9% gain in earnings for the country’s highest-paid workers.
* Low-wage workers are benefiting from higher minimum wages and from corporations that are increasing entry-level pay.
* Trump signed the biggest wilderness protection & conservation bill in a decade and designated 375,000 acres as protected land.
* Trump signed the Save our Seas Act which funds $10 million per year to clean tons of plastic & garbage from the ocean.?
* He signed a bill this year allowing some drug imports from Canada so that prescription prices would go down.
* Trump signed an executive order this year that forces all healthcare providers to disclose the cost of their services so that Americans can comparison shop and know how much less providers charge insurance companies.
* When signing that bill he said no American should be blindsided by bills for medical services they never agreed to in advance.
* Hospitals will now be required to post their standard charges for services, which include the discounted price a hospital is willing to accept.
* In the eight years prior to President Trump’s inauguration, prescription drug prices increased by an average of 3.6% per year. Under Trump, drug prices have seen year-over-year declines in nine of the last ten months, with a 1.1% drop as of the most recent month.
* He created a White House VA Hotline to help veterans and principally staffed it with veterans and direct family members of veterans.??
* VA employees are being held accountable for poor performance, with more than 4,000 VA employees removed, demoted, and suspended so far.
* Issued an executive order requiring the Secretaries of Defense, Homeland Security, and Veterans Affairs to submit a joint plan to provide veterans access to access to mental health treatment as they transition to civilian life.
* Because of a bill signed and championed by Trump, In 2020, most federal employees will see their pay increase by an average of 3.1% — the largest raise in more than 10 years.
* Trump signed into a law up to 12 weeks of paid parental leave for millions of federal workers.
* Trump administration will provide HIV prevention drugs for free to 200,000 uninsured patients per year for 11 years.??
* All-time record sales during the 2019 holidays.
* Trump signed an order allowing small businesses to group together when buying insurance to get a better price??
* President Trump signed the Preventing Maternal Deaths Act that provides funding for states to develop maternal mortality reviews to better understand maternal complications and identify solutions & largely focuses on reducing the higher mortality rates for Black Americans.
* In 2018, President Trump signed the groundbreaking First Step Act, a criminal justice bill which enacted reforms that make our justice system fairer and help former inmates successfully return to society.
* The First Step Act’s reforms addressed inequities in sentencing laws that disproportionately harmed Black Americans and reformed mandatory minimums that created unfair outcomes.??
* The First Step Act expanded judicial discretion in sentencing of non-violent crimes.
* Over 90% of those benefitting from the retroactive sentencing reductions in the First Step Act are Black Americans.
* The First Step Act provides rehabilitative programs to inmates, helping them successfully rejoin society and not return to crime.
* Trump increased funding for Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) by more than 14%.??
* Trump signed legislation forgiving Hurricane Katrina debt that threatened HBCUs.
* New single-family home sales are up 31.6% in October 2019 compared to just one year ago.
* Made HBCUs a priority by creating the position of executive director of the White House Initiative on HBCUs.
* Trump received the Bipartisan Justice Award at a historically black college for his criminal justice reform accomplishments.
* The poverty rate fell to a 17-year low of 11.8% under the Trump administration as a result of a jobs-rich environment.?
* Poverty rates for African-Americans and Hispanic-Americans have reached their lowest levels since the U.S. began collecting such data.
* President Trump signed a bill that creates five national monuments, expands several national parks, adds 1.3 million acres of wilderness, and permanently reauthorizes the Land and Water Conservation Fund.
* Trump’s USDA committed $124 Million to rebuild rural water infrastructure.??
* Consumer confidence & small business confidence is at an all time high.
* More than 7 million jobs created since election.
* More Americans are now employed than ever recorded before in our history.
* More than 400,000 manufacturing jobs created since his election.
* Trump appointed 5 openly gay ambassadors.??
* Trump ordered Ric Grenell, his openly gay ambassador to Germany, to lead a global initiative to decriminalize homosexuality across the globe.
* Through Trump’s Anti-Trafficking Coordination Team (ACTeam) initiative, Federal law enforcement more than doubled convictions of human traffickers and increased the number of defendants charged by 75% in ACTeam districts.
* In 2018, the Department of Justice (DOJ) dismantled an organization that was the internet’s leading source of prostitution-related advertisements resulting in sex trafficking.
* Trump’s OMB published new anti-trafficking guidance for government procurement officials to more effectively combat human trafficking.
* Trump’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s Homeland Security Investigations arrested 1,588 criminals associated with Human Trafficking.
* Trump’s Department of Health and Human Services provided funding to support the National Human Trafficking Hotline to identify perpetrators and give victims the help they need.
* The hotline identified 16,862 potential human trafficking cases.
* Trump’s DOJ provided grants to organizations that support human trafficking victims – serving nearly 9,000 cases from July 1, 2017, to June 30, 2018.??
* The Department of Homeland Security has hired more victim assistance specialists, helping victims get resources and support.
* President Trump has called on Congress to pass school choice legislation so that no child is trapped in a failing school because of his or her zip code.??
* The President signed funding legislation in September 2018 that increased funding for school choice by $42 million.
* The tax cuts signed into law by President Trump promote school choice by allowing families to use 529 college savings plans for elementary and secondary education.??
* Under his leadership ISIS has lost most of their territory and been largely dismantled.
* ISIS leader Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi was killed.
* Signed the first Perkins CTE reauthorization since 2006, authorizing more than $1 billion for states each year to fund vocational and career education programs.
* Executive order expanding apprenticeship opportunities for students and workers.
* Trump issued an Executive Order prohibiting the U.S. government from discriminating against Christians or punishing expressions of faith.
* Signed an executive order that allows the government to withhold money from college campuses deemed to be anti-Semitic and who fail to combat anti-Semitism.
* President Trump ordered a halt to U.S. tax money going to international organizations that fund or perform abortions.
* Trump imposed sanctions on the socialists in Venezuela who have killed their citizens.
* Finalized new trade agreement with South Korea.
* Made a deal with the European Union to increase U.S. energy exports to Europe.??
* Withdrew the U.S. from the job killing TPP deal.
* Secured $250 billion in new trade and investment deals in China and $12 billion in Vietnam.
* Okay’d up to $12 billion in aid for farmers affected by unfair trade retaliation.??
* Has had over a dozen US hostages freed, including those Obama could not get freed.
* Trump signed the Music Modernization Act, the biggest change to copyright law in decades.
* Trump secured Billions that will fund the building of a wall at our southern border.
* The Trump Administration is promoting second chance hiring to give former inmates the opportunity to live crime-free lives and find meaningful employment.
* Trump’s DOJ and the Board Of Prisons launched a new “Ready to Work Initiative” to help connect employers directly with former prisoners.??
* President Trump’s historic tax cut legislation included new Opportunity Zone Incentives to promote investment in low-income communities across the country.
* 8,764 communities across the country have been designated as Opportunity Zones.
* Opportunity Zones are expected to spur $100 billion in long-term private capital investment in economically distressed communities across the country.
* Trump directed the Education Secretary to end Common Core.?????????
* Trump signed the 9/11 Victims Compensation Fund into law.
* Trump signed measure funding prevention programs for Veteran suicide.??
* Companies have brought back over a TRILLION dollars from overseas because of the TCJA bill that Trump signed.
* Manufacturing jobs are growing at the fastest rate in more than 30 years.
* Stock Market has reached record highs.
* Median household income has hit highest level ever recorded.
* African-American unemployment is at an all time low.
* Hispanic-American unemployment is at an all time low.
* Asian-American unemployment is at an all time low.
* Women’s unemployment rate is at a 65-year low.
* Youth unemployment is at a 50-year low.
* We have the lowest unemployment rate ever recorded.
* The Pledge to America’s Workers has resulted in employers committing to train more than 4 million Americans.
* 95 percent of U.S. manufacturers are optimistic about the future— the highest ever.
* As a result of the Republican tax bill, small businesses will have the lowest top marginal tax rate in more than 80 years
* Record number of regulations eliminated that hurt small businesses.
* Signed welfare reform requiring able-bodied adults who don’t have children to work or look for work if they’re on welfare.?
* Under Trump, the FDA approved more affordable generic drugs than ever before in history.
* Reformed Medicare program to stop hospitals from overcharging low-income seniors on their drugs—saving seniors 100’s of millions of $$$ this year alone.??
* Signed Right-To-Try legislation allowing terminally ill patients to try experimental treatment that wasn’t allowed before.
* Secured $6 billion in new funding to fight the opioid epidemic.❤️❤️
* Signed VA Choice Act and VA Accountability Act, expanded VA telehealth services, walk-in-clinics, and same-day urgent primary and mental health care.??
* U.S. oil production recently reached all-time high so we are less dependent on oil from the Middle East.
* The U.S. is a net natural gas exporter for the first time since 1957.
* NATO allies increased their defense spending because of his pressure campaign.
* Withdrew the United States from the job-killing Paris Climate Accord in 2017 and that same year the U.S. still led the world by having the largest reduction in Carbon emissions.??
* Has his circuit court judge nominees being confirmed faster than any other new administration.
* Had his Supreme Court Justice’s Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh confirmed.
* Moved U.S. Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem.??
* Agreed to a new trade deal with Mexico & Canada that will increase jobs here and $$$ coming in.
* Reached a breakthrough agreement with the E.U. to increase U.S. exports.
* Imposed tariffs on China in response to China’s forced technology transfer, intellectual property theft, and their chronically abusive trade practices, has agreed to a Part One trade deal with China.
* Signed legislation to improve the National Suicide Hotline.?
* Signed the most comprehensive childhood cancer legislation ever into law, which will advance childhood cancer research and improve treatments.
* The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act signed into law by Trump doubled the maximum amount of the child tax credit available to parents and lifted the income limits so more people could claim it
* It also created a new tax credit for other dependents.
* In 2018, President Trump signed into law a $2.4 billion funding increase for the Child Care and Development Fund, providing a total of $8.1 billion to States to fund child care for low-income families.
* The Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit (CDCTC) signed into law by Trump provides a tax credit equal to 20-35% of child care expenses, $3,000 per child & $6,000 per family + Flexible Spending Accounts (FSAs) allow you to set aside up to $5,000 in pre-tax $ to use for child care.
* In 2019 President Donald Trump signed the Autism Collaboration, Accountability, Research, Education and Support Act (CARES) into law which allocates $1.8 billion in funding over the next five years to help people with autism spectrum disorder and to help their families.??
* In 2019 President Trump signed into law two funding packages providing nearly $19 million in new funding for Lupus specific research and education programs, as well an additional $41.7 billion in funding for the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the most Lupus funding EVER.
* Another upcoming accomplishment to add: In the next week or two Trump will be signing the first major anti-robocall law in decades called the TRACED Act (Telephone Robocall Abuse Criminal Enforcement and Deterrence.) Once it’s the law, the TRACED Act will extend the period of time the FCC has to catch & punish those who intentionally break telemarketing restrictions. The bill also requires voice service providers to develop a framework to verify calls are legitimate before they reach your phone.
* US stock market continually hits all-time record highs.
* Because so many people asked for a document with all of this listed in one place, here it is. No links provided to remove bias as Google search is easy. Print this out for family, friends, neighbors, etc. I encourage you to drop this list off to voters before the 2020 election too!
*Trump did all of this while fighting flagrant abuse and impeachment charges.
Please explain to me why you have a problem with OUR president? Because he has misspoke a few times? Tell me when you find a perfect person, please….I’ll wait!
I’ll tell you why, because the media has skewed him in such a negative light and unfairly report his accomplishments to undermined those achievements! Why? Because the media is complicit in every single thing this man is trying to undo! Start thinking for

General
General
August 6, 2020 10:07 am

Biden doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell of winning, except for massive voter fraud….

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  General
August 6, 2020 4:20 pm

Voter fraud is in the DNA of the DNC.

TC
TC
August 6, 2020 11:48 am

No Kurt, either way we lose.

nkit
nkit
August 6, 2020 12:07 pm

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nkit
nkit
August 6, 2020 12:09 pm

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delow24
delow24
August 6, 2020 2:48 pm

Trump needs to just issue the challenge….then show up to the debate and answer questions while the other podium is just occupied by a cardboard cutout. Even have the journalists question the cutout to silence/crickets chirping. Would love to see this on Fox News.

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