State With No Electricity Orders Everyone To Drive Cars That Run On Electricity

Via The Babylon Bee

SACRAMENTO, CA—Gavin Newsom, governor of the state with the highest people-to-electricity ratio in the nation, banned gasoline cars yesterday via executive order. The order takes effect in 2035, meaning by that time, everyone in the state with no electricity will only be able to plug in their cars to the power grid that does not work.

“Everyone, plug in those cars!” Newsom said proudly in a room lit only by candlelight, since, you know, the whole electricity thing. “Other states run on backward, outdated fossil fuels. We are the state of the future, so we will run solely on electricity. Which, you know, we’re working on. We could have power by 2035. You never know.”

There was an awkward silence.

“SCIENCE!” Newsom said, regaining his momentum and drawing applause from the reporters gathered.

By the year 2035, the move is expected to completely eliminate all gasoline car carbon emissions, smog, and California residents.

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BL
BL

Very funny, you just can’t make this stuff up….or can you?

realestatepup
realestatepup

Dear Governor Newsom:
It has come to my attention that gas-powered vehicles are to be banned in 2035. I may have a solution.

The Keebler Elves have been working on a Unicorn Fart engine for quite some time, they are close to a breakthrough in the technology. It took a lot of re-tooling of the fudge-striping machines, but those elves are a clever bunch. Unicorn Farts have been shown to be extremely low-emission.

Then we have the dragon-breath power plant. Rumor has it, one dragon can power an entire state. Unfortunately, they have eaten all the engineers working on the power plant, and with the Dragon Wrangler’s union demanding hazard pay, the work is at a stand-still. Mediation anyone? Governor, you are a people-uniter, I suggest you step in and mediate.

Maybe we can import some help from Mordor, I hear there’s a lot of Orcs out of work since the Sauron administration was booted. Of course that would require more foreign Visa worker permits. You have bucked the system before with immigration. What’s a few thousand violent orcs? If anyone can make it work, it’s you.

Now, with all the forest fires burning upstate, I know many California residents are very concerned about the agriculture industry up that way. Keep this under your hat, but a new company has come up with a great food product that is both renewable AND good for the environment. They’ve been kicking around a name, and so far Soylent Green is what they are using. I mean the word GREEN is right in the title! Easy sell, right? From what I hear it’s completely free range as well.

Once all those fires die down, I would recommend sending a California Rep to The Grey Havens. Galadriel is simply a wonder with trees, perhaps she would allow some of the Mallorn to be planted here? They grow fast, are magically protected, and I think she has some plans for some tree houses to put in them too. Worth a shot if you ask me.

Lastly, and I don’t mean to step on any toes here, but Covid-19 still seems to be an issue. While our hopes for the “vaccine” don’t seem to be materializing any time soon, and the magic in our masks is not proving strong enough, I think it’s time for a more head-on approach. Harry Potter has his PHD from Hogwarts and I have heard through a reliable source he has successfully used his magic wand to completely cure this horrible scourge. Even in people that have NO SYMPTOMS! Now that’s some magic. Surely California has some Federal funds kicking around to pay Mr. Potter to come on over and wave that wand around?

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Gandalf the White
Wizard
Middle Earth

Stucky

That is really quite funny. You should send it to his email address … even if he doesn’t read it, at least his staffers can get a good laugh.

============== =

Someone should sent that lame brained moron an article or two from Eric Peters.

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realestatepup
realestatepup

The problem is he really believes his own BS so this would be totally wasted on him. And I think perhaps most of the people working for him have absolutely drunk the Kool-aid so that may also be non-productive.
The end result may be them actually trying to set up a meeting with good ‘ol Gandalf to try and fund a start up.
I bet the IPO would be off the charts.
Morons. Every single last one of them.

Diaperless in NH ILuvCO2
Diaperless in NH ILuvCO2

Funny shit Pup. Soylent Green is people!! And electric cars, it’s coal powered plants! As Admin says, the stupid, it burns….

Anonymous
Anonymous

The Great Bee has crossed the Rubicon, it is more (much) reliable than the MSM now.

glock 1911 M1A .308
glock 1911 M1A .308

Effectively assuring the “lower classes” are forced to use public transit. And without calculating the carbon footprint of producing enough extra electricity for Hollywood, all the queers, Silicon Valley and all the politicians to drive their electric cars.

Steve
Steve

I thought the deal was we elect smart people because …well…they’re smart. Then we can do what we do best?
How’s that working out?
Doesn’t it defy the odds that we almost always end up with dimwits and asshats?

very old white guy
very old white guy

Stupid people vote for stupid people.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot

Maybe Newsom does not realize the batteries that power the cars have to be charged using electricity from the grid. Of course, he has not experienced any of the rolling blackouts, so he may not be aware of them, as well.

Two if by sea. Three if from within thee.
Two if by sea. Three if from within thee.

Never mind the rare earth mined across the Pacific and inevitably landing on California shores. They’re all in the CCPs pockets.

TomMacGyver
TomMacGyver

Newsom is a shitbird. Most of the power plants in California run on cheap, abundant, natural gas, which is one of the cleanest fuels out there. What did the Sacramento Home For The Insane do? It ordered that the plants be shut down and torn down. Meanwhile, it’s inviting in every 3rd World illegal it can find, and putting them into Section Eight housing, with, you guessed it, free electricity… free to them, anyway… You can’t buy votes any cheaper than that. Now there are rolling blackouts. The Asylum counters with “TURN THOSE PLANTS BACK ON!!!” The workers, after saying “I told you so, MORON!” said “Sorry, we can’t. You told us to tear them down.” The Asylum said “Oh shit…” Then, here comes Newsom… You just can’t fix stupid. To this date, I cannot find ONE PERSON who voted for that pussy, and yet, there he is. I guess being Pelosi’s nephew has perks…

Glock-N-Load

Newsome is Pelosi’s nephew?!

Allin
Allin

Here is a short report on the 4 Families that have been running (ruining) California over the last 80 years https://www.bitchute.com/video/XUi10rjiREvG/ And yes Newsome & Pelosi are two of these families.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran

When having Jerry Brown as governor is “the good old days”, you know things have gone too far.

If this really goes into effect, everyone will just continue driving aging used cars. So it’ll be just like Cuba. Which is what they want.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot

They will keep increasing gas taxes to “force” the people to upgrade to electric. Of course they will not allow new electric generating plants or new transmission lines to be built, so the blackouts will get worse.
The stupid runs deep with these leftists.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Here in Ca. we will still have those pesky fires every year to make the air unbreathable.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Sounds like free market economics just threw a rod….must be the sugar in the gas tank.

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