DETROIT, MI—General Motors is making waves after a surprise unveiling of a line of exciting new California-compliant vehicles. After a week of building anticipation, officials at the company revealed its latest innovation for the West Coast: the 2021 Horse And Buggy.
The curiosity started last week when GM’s Twitter account dropped a cryptic photo of a lone carrot with the phrase “It’s coming.” Finally, at a live event this week, officials at the company pulled the cover off a stylish, elegant carriage pulled by a powerful single horse.
“We had to re-think everything,” said lead designer Abraham Moses Jehoshaphat from rural Pennsylvania. “With California outlawing gas-powered cars, we had to research new technology for propelling a four-wheeled vehicle forward. After countless hours of research and billions of dollars, this is what we came up with. It’s an organic, intelligent engine capable of listening to your voice commands and even reproducing other engines. A true miracle of modern science. Levi Berkenbosch from down the road donated it, which is nice. Her name’s Sal.”
The 2021 Horse & Buggy will come in a one or two horsepower option. Instead of dirty fossil fuels that make Mother Earth cry, the Horse & Buggy will be powered by organic oats and carrots, which can be picked up at your local Whole Foods for $12,000 per pound. Instead of plush bucket seats, riders will be treated to a solid oak plank carved from a single tree that will crack your pelvis every time you hit a pothole.
“The only downside to this amazing machine is you have to stop every 23 feet to pick up poop,” said Jehoshaphat. “Although, if you’re riding it through a San Francisco tent city no one will probably notice. Also, this old girl’s a little skittish around fire, which I hear could be a problem in California.”
Chevy confirmed they plan to release many more exciting new California-compliant models in the future such as the “Chariot,” the “Flintstone,” and the “100 Giant Helium Balloons Tied To A Harness On Your Back.” You’re welcome, Mother Nature!
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So much for zero emissions vehicles
Which, the harvesting of alfalfa still entails carbon emissions. But at least it doesn’t have a touch screen. And I’m sure that horse is better company than a prius. And, what’s a libtard going to do come shoeing time? Most of them can’t handle a manual can opener, much less a hoof trimmer.
They’ll just do like the guy did last week … run the poor thing on pavement until they feel the need to kill it because its hooves are all broken …
Progress? Not from progressives …
The governor has vowed to hire 20 million people to clean up the shit.
Whitey- Yeah, and I’ll make a fortune selling buggy whips in Cali.
Great … more wetbacks … just what we need …
They don’t clean up the sh*t in California now…lots of luck thinking this will get cleaned up.
Not that I would ever purchase another new car (and the bigBrother) that comes with it), but I fear that the size of the automobile market in CA will negatively impact the options we all have everywhere else. If we actually had a free market, that allowed buyers to purchase cars based on THEIR desired features rather than those of unaccountable politicians, this would be no issue. There would likely be hundreds of auto makers around the nation, and foreign cars (like high mileage diesels, etc.) would be everywhere, meeting niche demands and desires. But we have no freedom, and less freedom in a state with 10% of the population, is a potentially big problem.
Ahhh … but they fart … more greenhouse gases.
Per the edicts from twit-in-chief-in-her-own-mind — Occasionally-Conscious — off with its head.
I’m offended there wasn’t a methane harvesting apparatus on the horse’s butt. There ought to be a law!
You know that the collapse is near when the average American can no longer afford much less buy a new automobile. Henry Ford was correct when he bragged that he gave us our modern age, which is based on the freedom to buy an affordable car and drive wherever you want to go. Supposedly the salary of most Americans is right where it was in 1980, which means that motor vehicles should be priced at what they were then. If that’s the case, a total collapse is not far off.
Should cut down on drive by shootings…
barbie, shotcallers in prison put the kibosh on drive-by shootings way back in the 80’s. The rest of the jokes are just as old and tiresome.
Auntie is reminded of the Seinfeld episode with the handsome cab ride around Central Park or this Bud Light commercial:
Gavin Newsom; a real man of jeenyuss.
OATMOBILE