Jack Dorsey Hires Homeless Man Off Streets Of San Francisco To Fill In For Him At Hearings

Via The Babylon Bee

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Jack Dorsey was summoned to the Senate’s hearing on Big Tech today, but he was tripping on acid with the spider-monkeys off the southern coast of St. Bart’s, so he quickly called up his office and had his people hire a homeless man hanging out in front of Twitter’s headquarters to fill in for him.

The hobo was holding up a sign reading “Will Go to Senate Hearing for Crack,” and Dorsey’s assistants quickly hired him for the hearing.

“Yeah, uh, censorship, I like that. That’s good stuff,” said the hobo to the confused panel. “The apocalypse is coming, man. The signs are all around us!”

“Sorry, Mr., uh, Dorsey, we were expecting a professional-looking CEO, but you’re clearly just a hobo off the streets of San Francisco,” said Senator Mike Lee. “Couldn’t you at least have taken a shower before talking to the United States Senate?”

“Hey, bro, chill out,” the hobo responded. “Don’t harsh my mellow, man. I’m doing this for a couple bags of blow and a $20, man. You suck!”

For his part, Mark Zuckerberg programmed a lookalike android to testify.

-----------------------------------------------------
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal

-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Click to visit the TBP Store for Great TBP Merchandise

9
Leave a Reply

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

Striking resemblance to Rasputin.

Harrington Richardson
Harrington Richardson

I watched a few minutes of him and his eyes were messed up in addition to him looking like a junkie.
Maybe Hunter supplies the Rock and the teenage girls in exchange for locking out news against Biden or favoring Trump? LOL!

Anonymous
Anonymous

Obviously he has so little regard for the occasion and the people interviewing him that he can’t even take the time to comb his fricking hair, or cut the rat’s nest of a beard. Take some pride in your personal appearance for God’s sake ….

Anonymous
Anonymous

“pride in his appearance” was not his point. “he has so little regard for the occasion and the people interviewing him”<– THAT WAS. imo he dressed, acted and gave answers in the manner displayed on purpose, specifically with the intent to give off an IDGAF (about you) attitude to the senators, cuz they are powerless against him– he knows it and they know it, and he has more "fuck you" money than all of them combined.

Ginger
Ginger
Hans
Hans

I thought it was Ted Kaczynski back in his cabin.

TC
TC
yahsure
yahsure

Homeless guy was my first reaction also. This guy has a say in what happens? Scary!

Discover more from The Burning Platform

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading