Guest Post by Simon Black
Are you ready for this week’s absurdity? Here’s our Friday roll-up of the most ridiculous stories from around the world that are threats to your liberty, risks to your prosperity… and on occasion, inspiring poetic justice.
School Threatens to Arrest 12 Year Old Over Three Missed Zoom Classes
A California school sent a letter threatening to arrest and prosecute a 12 year old boy who missed 90 minutes of online virtual classes.
The letter says the middle-schooler is considered truant if he misses more than a half hour of any given class.
When the boy’s father complained about the threat to his son (who happens to be an excellent student and makes straight A’s), the school principal said his hands were tied.
California’s laws regarding truancy force schools to send the warning letter, and funnel kids into the state’s prison pipeline.
Click here to read the full story.
Mother Faces Prison for Keeping Kids Home From School
A mother of two in the UK has a great reason to keep her kids home from school.
She is especially at risk of complications if she contracts COVID-19 due to diabetes, asthma, and an underactive thyroid. According to these conditions, the UK’s socialized health system, the NHS, classifies her as clinically vulnerable.
But that doesn’t matter to the local education welfare officer, who sent a letter to the mom demanding her children return to school, or she will face up to three months in prison and a £2,500 fine.
So first the government forces everyone to close their businesses and stay home. Now they want to force a vulnerable person into contact with others.
Isn’t it fun having the government control your life?
Click here to read the full story.
UK Allows Migrant Posing as Child into School
When an asylum-seeker arrives in the United Kingdom without a passport or birth certificate, the policy is to give him the benefit of the doubt.
That’s how a balding man from Gambia who looks about 40 years old ended up in a UK high school.
The man claims to be 15 years old, which qualifies him for extra government support as an unaccompanied minor. Naturally, he is not required to prove his claim of being 15. The government merely accepts his word, even though he clearly looks MUCH older.
When one schoolgirl shared pictures of the man on social media, questioning his age, the school called her a bully.
Click here to read the full story.
Tampax Competes for Wokest Corporation
If you thought Tampax was a women’s hygiene product brand, you were wrong.
The company recently sent a Tweet that read:
“Fact: Not all women have periods. Also a fact: Not all people with periods are women. Let’s celebrate the diversity of all people who bleed!”
Now it’s somehow controversial to say that one set of sexual organs requires Tampax’s products, and the other does not.
In order to be more inclusive, we have to deny basic scientific facts of life, like the biological differences between males and females.
Of course, like J.K. Rowling, you will get in trouble these days for thinking like that.
The Harry Potter author was recently “canceled” for Tweeting, “‘People who menstruate.’ I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?”
Click here to see the Twitter thread.
The Only Cop Arrested Was The Whistleblower
Six months ago, a man died after two police officers arrested him in a drug sting.
The Police Department in the city of Joliet, Illinois (about 30 miles from Chicago) refused to release video footage from the patrol car that night showing how the man died.
But another officer was so disgusted by his colleagues’ misconduct that he leaked the video to the public.
The video shows the officers swearing at the detainee, slapping him, shoving a police baton down his throat, and holding his nose shut to try to make him spit something out, presumably drugs.
The suspect died a short time later.
But the only arrest that resulted from this incident was the whistleblower– the third officer who leaked the video footage.
He’s now charged with official misconduct for unauthorized access to the video evidence and faces five years in prison.
Click here to read the full story.
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Seriously,when does the shooting/correction start?
when there’s nothing left to lose
The last one seems to really sum it up for me. Authority is your master. Even to the cops. Governments gonna crime.
If you were in school, you could probably pay an Indian (dot not feather) to take the zoom classes for you, and spend your time more usefully doing literally anything else.
Man, I just love these Babylon Bee articles!
If only.
Why is any child still enrolled in the government day prison system. Let’s face it…it is nothing more than “free” daycare so mom and dad can go to work. So if the kids aren’t in a classroom/prison cell for the day anyway, why are you putting up with this shit? There are homeschool curricula available for low costs on the internet and they come with ZERO bullshit from the ‘gubmint other than having to comply with homeschooling rules. A better education at home (they are home anyway), and no threats of arrest because you finished the classwork in 1/2 or less the time the schools waste everyday just to justify higher teacher salaries and employment of more teachers.
Almost as many administrators as there are teachers.