FRIDAY FAIL

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gary kremen irony Match.com dating fails g rated - 7121404160

bunk beds gif karma ouch justice - 7936955392

fails news texas man shoots armadillo bullet ricochets and hits him in the face

cars what sign fail nation - 8196294912

breakfast grammar sign - 8326320384

cars bees funny parking - 7836970240

counterfeit facepalm fake bill genius funny - 7795952384

newspaper winnie the pooh accidental creepy - 8313124608

FAIL directions pillows - 8811665408

discretion gross hiding innuendo - 5523045632

chair lazy computer irony - 6746819840

dude parts accidental sexy candy bar chocolate food - 7017723904

hardware store naked woman Probably bad News - 6237125120

Music rhythm gifs fail nation - 8378055680

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lazy dishes funny - 7771091456

car alarm cars cheap dogs mans-best-friend parking lot security - 5412123648

nerdgasm shirt - 7258340352

gifs water polo g rated fail nation - 8013939200

nap broner accidental sexy old people fail nation g rated - 7039975936

sign air quotes air conditioning - 7297013248

sign Awkward irony funny - 7689649920

santas-little-helper dude parts accidental sexy elves hat - 6789657088

engrish whoops translation fail nation g rated - 8404588032

cement construction railroad tracks - 6133363200

funny-fail-pic-toilet-paper-spider

stunt BAMF vertigo wat daredevil - 6875982080

genius ladder repairs - 7962352896

zoom moon dongs p3n0r - 8759932928

ouch gifs bike fail nation - 8227131392

sign sports baseball funny - 7702235648

burns devil fail nation fire m okay face - 6124766464

hoarder messy car trash - 6192252160

books spelling funny - 7541972224

Awkward dating graffiti marriage proposals popping the question - 8074215168

nerdgasm Star Trek funny fail nation g rated - 7566546432

alzheimer irony signs - 5464518656

duel court law Probably bad News news fail nation - 7979327744

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784 Comments
ELF
ELF
December 11, 2020 10:41 am

FIRST ! WOO HOO !
( my big achievement for the week )

Bob P
Bob P
  ELF
December 11, 2020 11:04 am

My big achievement for the week was not dying.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 11:08 am

Epstein did not either.

ELF
ELF
  TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 11:29 am

YES , he did die . ( but he had “help” )
I’m wondering if his G.F. will have the same sort of “help” .

Suds
Suds
  ELF
December 11, 2020 3:32 pm

comment image

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Suds
December 11, 2020 4:28 pm

Legendary!

CCRider
CCRider
  Suds
December 11, 2020 4:44 pm

….in Israel.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  ELF
December 11, 2020 3:54 pm

He is living the good life, protected by his friends in Mossad.

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 11:28 am

Good for you Bob . At our age , that is a worthy achievement .

ELF
ELF
  ELF
December 11, 2020 1:41 pm

No offence , but what LOW LIFE , FUCKTARD , would down vote me for
this post ?
Just because I’m first ?
Or is it because you have some deep seated grudge against me ?
Come on , come out of the shadows , you Keyboard Warrior !
Let ALL OF US know just who you are .
It’s easy to be a Keyboard Warrior . But do you really have the stones to face me ?
Here’s my E-mail address . Contact me and then we’ll arrange a meeting place .
[email protected]
Any time , anywhere !

Captain_Obviuos
Captain_Obviuos
  ELF
December 11, 2020 2:02 pm

… and if you need a samurai sword, ghurka or heavy hammer to face ELF, be prepared.

We know people, man.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Captain_Obviuos
December 11, 2020 3:56 pm

Capt. – Nice reference to the FF story above.

StackingStock
StackingStock
  ELF
December 11, 2020 3:19 pm

You should have posted the Vega burnout

And then the Vega burnout marks, you would have gotten zero down votes IMHO.

yahright
yahright
  StackingStock
December 11, 2020 6:14 pm

My dad always told me that Vegas were junk. Then I met someone who owned one with 300,000 miles on it with no issues. I do remember a time when dropping a small block Chevy in one was popular. Guys in High school would try to get me to drag race them in their little Vegas.

ELF
ELF
  yahright
December 11, 2020 9:12 pm

Yeah , I remember people dropping small block Chevy motors in those .
It made a nice “street sleeper” .
Like putting a Porsche 6 in your V-dub or Corvair .

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  yahright
December 11, 2020 11:29 pm

I was a single Dad, and went to buy groceries with my infant son, and when we loaded the groceries into the VEGA, buckled the boy into the carseat, I turned the key and nothing…. the engine seized even tho it was full of oil and coolant, and I’d just replaced the heater core because the radiator was too small so it had to have it to supplement the cooling, and two weeks before that I replaced the tires.
I was broke, had groceries getting hot and a kid that needed diapers changed and no car.
Thats what I think of your 300,000 mile Vega.
Actually, I think you’re fabricating your Vega claim
Thanks Mom for picking us up and co-signing the loan on that 1987 Nissan Hardbody pickup.
You saved me.

nkit
nkit
  YourAverageJoe
December 11, 2020 11:41 pm

good story, YAJ…thanks…stories like that help make FF

Anonymous
Anonymous
  YourAverageJoe
December 12, 2020 5:15 am

I had one in college that my Dad bought(used) for me, and it too blew up with less than 90k on it…turns out they had aluminum blocks ,and that was widely known !

Freddy Uranus
Freddy Uranus
  yahright
December 12, 2020 6:34 am

Vegas in general were garbage. But they were very big back in the day in Pro Stock drag racing due to the size weight ratio. Pro drag racers would just use the body and fabricate a frame/engine under it.

ELF
ELF
  ELF
December 11, 2020 4:49 pm

Well let’s see . I got’s 4 up votes and 4 down votes . Dat’s OK !
I’m a fun loving guy and like to joke around with folks .
But to all you Soi Bois out there , I just checked my E-mail , and I
don’t see ANY reply’s from ANY of you .
Now since I put my E-mail out there , ( something most F.F. folks won’t do )
I would expect that any of you Keyboard Warriors would jump on the chance to confront me directly . But I don’t see that .
Come on Bitches ! Send me Your E-mail .
I’m in Cali . We can meet somewhere in between where ever you are and where I am .

Anonymous
Anonymous
  ELF
December 12, 2020 2:44 pm

You seem to have issues.

Depressed Aussie
Depressed Aussie
  ELF
December 11, 2020 8:11 pm

haha I think every regular poster has a couple followers. Its what makes the TBP great is that we can all have good arguments without someone calling daddy Dorsey to get the other de platformed.

ELF
ELF
  Depressed Aussie
December 11, 2020 9:17 pm

Who’s Dorsey ?

Depressed Aussie
Depressed Aussie
  ELF
December 11, 2020 8:09 pm

After writing off a brand new $90,000 USD header while assembling it (not me) and breaking a $1000 water tank after it fell off a forklift (me) the previous week I am happy to say our workshop has had no fuck ups this week. Yay!

ELF
ELF
  Depressed Aussie
December 11, 2020 9:17 pm

What kind of header are you talking about Bro ?
The only ones I’m familiar with are hot or cold bolt headers .
Is there another kind ?

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:50 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:03 am

No, Mr. Serling, we will not accept this script. It’s too far out even for the Twilight Zone. Whoever came up with this plot should be serving french fries.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:51 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:06 am

Look on the bright side; the few who are left won’t have to wear useless masks.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:40 pm

comment image

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  MrLiberty
December 11, 2020 4:33 pm

The picture just above of the fellow grimacing displays the perfect accessory and position for the politicians who are doing all these “lockdowns”.

ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:19 pm

I’m ready Doc . I’ve got leathers , a sawed off , a dog , ( or 5 )
and a good supply of Dinky Dee .

Machinist
Machinist
  ELF
December 11, 2020 2:16 pm

Dinki-Di

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 4:35 pm

Was ist das, Dinki-Di?

ELF
ELF
  Auntie Kriest
December 11, 2020 9:19 pm

Fictional dog food , from the first Mad Max movie .

ELF
ELF
  ELF
December 12, 2020 10:30 am

Laughing my ass off at 3 down votes on an innocuous comment about dog food .
Somewhere in mommy’s basement , sits a Soi Boi , or some U G L Y dike ,
giggling and mastrabating all night . Just waiting for me to react , or make another comment , so they can Down Vote it and giggle some more .

Have fun and play nice chillin’s .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:53 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:09 am

NOTICE:

Whoever wrote the above notice is not smart because he is stupid.

Mix
Mix
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 9:14 pm

I know the guy…comment image

ELF
ELF
  Mix
December 12, 2020 10:23 am

Yer a brave man Mix . I would never admit to knowing anyone that dumb .

ELF
ELF
  Mix
December 12, 2020 10:23 am

You are a brave man Mix . I would never admit to knowing anyone that dumb .

Anonymous
Anonymous
  ELF
December 12, 2020 11:35 am

Do you st st st st-udder?

ELF
ELF
  Anonymous
December 12, 2020 1:25 pm

I guess I did . But when I posted the 2nd response , the 1st response wasn’t on here . So how do I know ?

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:53 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:12 am

Then her spleen exploded and she ate off her right arm, but Pfizer is fine with that since they can’t be sued.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:32 pm

It was clearly listed in the fine print of possible side effects. At least she didn’t spontaneously combust.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 11, 2020 4:38 pm

Yet.

Suds
Suds
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:52 pm

comment image

Bob P
Bob P
  Suds
December 11, 2020 12:58 pm

The vaccine made Homer come to life!

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 1:43 pm

Is that Homer , or Gollum ?

Captain_Obviuos
Captain_Obviuos
  Suds
December 11, 2020 2:04 pm

D’OH!

motley
motley
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 2:56 pm

Actually … its satan who is fine with that.

Nocte_volens
Nocte_volens
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 4:07 pm

Perhaps someone will apply vigilante justice.

prester kahn
prester kahn
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 6:20 pm

And because of the law it was developed under, it isn’t covered by the National Vaccine Injury Act either (so you can’t get $ from the government, either)

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:34 pm

Dang Doc, what the heck did you do???

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:54 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:13 am

Animal tests of the new corona vaccines have proven fail safe.

ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:32 am

It’s the Flying Honey Badgers you have to fear !

Mix
Mix
  ELF
December 11, 2020 9:29 pm

comment image

Roger V Tranfaglia
Roger V Tranfaglia
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:13 pm

Pifzers FINE! They used ANIMALS for TESTING!!!

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:36 pm

Where is P.E.T.A. on this?

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:54 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:15 am

Looks like she’s a person 3 or greater, but I don’t imagine she’d have any takers anyway.

Andre
Andre
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 1:19 pm

Yeah, having to put on scuba gear first is a real turn off.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Andre
December 11, 2020 4:02 pm

Not if you are going to swim with the sharks or eagle rays, but you might need it if you are swimming with the hippo above. No offense intended to the 4 legged hippos of the world.

Mygirl....maybe?
Mygirl....maybe?
  Andre
December 11, 2020 6:14 pm

So even the Belgian health ministers are grotesque. I thought maybe the USSA had cornered the market.

Ken31
Ken31
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 2:33 pm

Best not to anger the Maggie The Hutt cartel.

ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:33 am

I don’t think SHE has to worry about that !

robert weston
robert weston
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:47 am

That’s a guy . . . just sayin.

ELF
ELF
  robert weston
December 11, 2020 2:50 pm

Bro , I don’t think even Michael Moor is that Fugly !

justista
justista
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 7:22 pm

Her and a dildo would exceed three persons or greater.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 8:10 pm

Maggie de Blobb, Belgium’s ( totalitarian fatfuk) Sickness Minister.

FIFY

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:37 pm

First time I’ve ever seen censorship on TBP.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:54 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:16 am

What about Michelle?

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 11:35 am

GOOD POINT Bob ! but it’s spelled Michael .

Guy White
Guy White
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 11:37 am

Manchelle’s? They’re in Hillary’s lockbox. If Obama wants to play with them he has to first give the Hag what she wants – good and hard.

ELF
ELF
  Guy White
December 11, 2020 1:46 pm

I don’t know if Barry could even bring himself to stoop that low .
( well yeah , he probably could )

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 4:01 pm

comment image

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
  Anonymous
December 11, 2020 4:18 pm

WTF?

Is that a photo shop?

ELF
ELF
  hardscrabble farmer
December 11, 2020 4:57 pm

I don’t know Bro , might be .
But that crooked lower lip smile and those eyes , sure do look familiar , don’t they ?

Nmeofthestate
Nmeofthestate
  hardscrabble farmer
December 11, 2020 5:27 pm

Check out the original with a search on Tineye.com . (VERY useful tool btw)
https://tineye.com/search/d706b84a8d5fdad8ec9698a58e0558e1e99cc1f3?sort=score&order=desc&page=1

Long Time Lurker
Long Time Lurker
  hardscrabble farmer
December 11, 2020 5:37 pm

Obummer tweeted it

justista
justista
  hardscrabble farmer
December 11, 2020 7:24 pm

Anyone anywhere ever see a picture of mike pregnant? HMMMMMM!

ELF
ELF
  justista
December 11, 2020 9:28 pm

Dude , investigators can’t even find out ANYTHING about
the Obama kids . Not where or when they were born , no hospital records ,
NOTHING ! NO previous school records , NOTHING until they popped
up on the scene when Bath House Barry was elected .
It’s not just a Manchurian Candidate , it’s a whole Manchurian Family !

Steve
Steve
  ELF
December 12, 2020 5:31 pm

Their kids are the spitting image of Obama’s friends. She is a physician, the shorter daughter looks exactly like her and the taller kid looks exactly like the husband. I’m not kidding

Commie Killer
Commie Killer
  Steve
December 13, 2020 6:23 am

They DO look alike. Especially Malia and the woman

Mix
Mix
  justista
December 11, 2020 9:33 pm

comment image

WILL2R
WILL2R
  hardscrabble farmer
December 12, 2020 8:20 am

Don’t know what to tell you, looks like Michael, without the muscles….

Steve
Steve
  hardscrabble farmer
December 12, 2020 5:21 pm

HSF,
No, there are other similar photos. Michael has a dick. And, there’s this video of Michael’s swingin’ junk on Ellen. Joan knew!

https://youtu.be/hpL1OLiCfDc

CCRider
CCRider
  Anonymous
December 11, 2020 5:43 pm

They have much in common-like peckers

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  Anonymous
December 11, 2020 11:44 pm

I think so. The arm between the shoulder and elbow on Barry is incredibly long.
Funny tho

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 4:03 pm

That’s Big Mike to us lowlifes.

Roger V Tranfaglia
Roger V Tranfaglia
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:14 pm

Since 1860?? Good enough for MOI!

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:55 am
Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:55 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:23 am

I’ll see your zero carbon solution and raise you my lead solution for anyone trying to force vaccination.

brian
brian
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:34 pm

X’s 80+ million and a few of us canuks

ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:37 am

I always knew Bill Gates was a weasel .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:56 am
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:09 am

All she is missing is a wiener in her mouth.

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:26 am

I admit I went too far when I put my meat in her mouth, your honour, but she didn’t have to bite it off.

Gomer
Gomer
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 2:24 pm

She’s a keeper.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:56 am
Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:56 am
Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:57 am
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:10 am

Damn you C D. Even with my magnifying glass I cannot see the details.

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:35 am

As far as I’m concerned every gorgeous dame is cruel, as if holding a juicy steak so close yet so far from my dripping canines. Some of them even step on my unfurled tongue. Bitches.

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 1:48 pm

Bob , go take a chill pill and rub one out .
You’ll feel much better .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:57 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:39 am

CAN DO ! Since 1968 .

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:42 pm

I bought my grandparent’s 10 year old ’77 four door Buick Century as my first car. Among the last of the land whales. Yes, I could moor it. “No Man” has hurt me!

prester kahn
prester kahn
  Anonymous
December 11, 2020 6:28 pm

One of the last real “full size cars”

youknowwhoiam
youknowwhoiam
  Anonymous
December 11, 2020 7:33 pm

while in college, I bought a ’74 Buick Electra with a 455 in it for $165. Lasted 2 years, I then bought a ’72 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham with a 472 in it for $500. Man, I miss the ride in those cars. I also later had an ’84 Buick LeSabre which was a nice ride too.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:54 pm

comment image

ELF
ELF
  MrLiberty
December 11, 2020 1:49 pm

Annnnnnnnnnnnd 1000000000000000000000 up votes from me !

Ken31
Ken31
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 2:36 pm

I couldn’t parallel park a skateboard. I just avoid cities so I don’t have to.

ELF
ELF
  Ken31
December 11, 2020 2:52 pm

At least yer honest !

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:44 pm

Steel and chromed bumpers make all the difference plus curb feelers also never hurt when attempting to land a pocket battleship like that pictured.

ELF
ELF
  Auntie Kriest
December 11, 2020 9:32 pm

My Grand dad had a Buick Roadmaster , don’t remember what year ,
Had curb feelers on it . TOO COOL !

Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:48 pm

If you can believe it, I had take my drivers test in one of those tanks. Passed of course.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:58 am
MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:43 pm

Somebody didn’t read the pressure cooker instructions.

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 2:26 pm

Those damn track lights.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:20 pm

That’s not how it works.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:48 pm

VIsual metaphor to Llpoh’s featured question posed to the Commentariat regarding when and how the E-bugalloo partay gets started.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:58 am
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:12 am

Where is the profile picture and the number of this murderer?

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:47 am

After winning the Emmy for best plan to kill grandmas and the Edward M. Kennedy Institute Award for Inspired Leadership in killing full-term babies, he’s earned a spot on Satan’s All Star team.

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 2:28 pm

Mr. Clemenza will see you now, Mr. Cuomo.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:58 am
Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:59 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:41 am

LOVE IT Doc ! One of my fav movies . “Call me snake”

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:44 pm

Snake Plissken….I thought you were dead.

ELF
ELF
  MrLiberty
December 11, 2020 1:50 pm

Yeah , I get that a lot .

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 10:59 am

comment image?resize=600%2C407&ssl=1

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:59 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:42 am

Well you know , there is a good reason they are called “libTARDS”.

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:51 am

Lori looks like she’s struggling to think. Maybe if she brings both neurons to bear on the issue at hand she might have her first thought.

Suds
Suds
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:51 pm

comment image

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Suds
December 11, 2020 4:59 pm

MIdget walleyed grouper.

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  Auntie Kriest
December 12, 2020 6:00 am

How long has it been dead?

ELF
ELF
  Suds
December 11, 2020 5:00 pm

What a Wall Eyed Wonder !

Mix
Mix
  Suds
December 11, 2020 10:05 pm

comment image

sacred cow
sacred cow
  Suds
December 12, 2020 1:04 pm

groot

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 4:07 pm

When did she get the second neuron? I thought her brain was full of morons and asst. morons.

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 2:41 pm

comment image

Suds
Suds
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 3:39 pm

LMFAO at that one, Mach

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:55 pm

The unsettling visage of this harridan really needs a WARNING a few lines above where it is located on the page.

Please. Ugly, please.

Auntie is begging you, Admin.

Viewing It has ruined my lunch and probably dinner ( which means AUntie can now go directly to the cocktail hour portion of the day.)

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 10:59 am

comment image?w=495&ssl=1

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 10:59 am
Ken31
Ken31
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 2:38 pm

The Nazi’s tried to save us from this fate. Meme fail.

ELF
ELF
  Ken31
December 11, 2020 2:56 pm

No , they didn’t ! My dad was there , fighting in France and Germany for the U.S.
How about YOU , or your father ?

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  ELF
December 11, 2020 3:50 pm

I think the implication has more to do with WHO is really behind all this bullshit…its a thinker.

Nocte_volens
Nocte_volens
  ELF
December 11, 2020 4:17 pm

I think you missed the sarcasm.

tojak
tojak
  ELF
December 12, 2020 7:18 am

The 359th Infantry Regiment, 90th Division, landed on Utah Beach on 06/06/1944. My Dad was a Lieutenant in Company A. They fought their way onto the beach, across France, and joined General Patton’s Army for the Battle of the Buldge…

At the time of the Utah Beach landing, the 90th had a compliment of 18,000 men, but, by the time they joined up with General Patton, the 90th was down to only 6,000 men, having lost 12,000 to german fire…

ELF
ELF
  tojak
December 12, 2020 10:47 am

God Bless your Dad ! And all the brave men and women who
fought to save us from Nazism , Communism & Socialism .
( and antifa . those people are so uninformed )

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:00 am
Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:00 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:43 am

A M E N !

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 2:47 pm

comment image

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 3:51 pm

And his running mate, Ho Ho Horizontal Harris.

ELF
ELF
  MrLiberty
December 11, 2020 5:02 pm

ROTF , LMAO !
but as I like to call her , Kumswalla Hairyass .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:01 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:44 am

I’M even gonna laugh at that ! 🙂

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:55 am

It’s gauche to put ketchup on elves!

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 1:52 pm

What condiment would You recommend Bob?

Bob P
Bob P
  ELF
December 11, 2020 2:08 pm

“Chilly” sauce

Machinist
Machinist
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 2:50 pm

Looks like BBQ sauce to me.
comment image

ELF
ELF
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 5:06 pm

I know NOTH-ING about this !
I plead the Bart Simpson defense .
” I didn’t do it ,
nobody saw me do it ,
you can’t prove anything ” .

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 4:09 pm

That is hot sauce, Bob.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 11:01 am

comment image?resize=600%2C464&ssl=1

Trapped in Portlandia
Trapped in Portlandia
  TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 11:32 am

The general kinda looks like Gordon Jump with a bit of facial hair and a nice hat.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Trapped in Portlandia
December 11, 2020 4:10 pm

I do like the hat. it says “I’m a bad a$$ m’fer

ELF
ELF
  TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 5:09 pm

TN , look at the news from the last 50 years .
The more shit you have on your hat , the smaller your
little piss-ant country .
( or maybe I missed your sarcasm )

ELF
ELF
  TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 12:24 pm

They DO ! if you toss them out a 40 story window !

Machinist
Machinist
  TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 2:57 pm

Outdoor Flight training “take-off” simulation platform for Communists.
comment image

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 4:11 pm

When are we going to install some of these in the District of Corruption and all the major cities in Murica?

Machinist
Machinist
  TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 7:35 pm

We’re gonna need more ‘wood’.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 4:24 pm

Am I a bad person because I laughed?

Well it was gallows humor.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:01 am
Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:01 pm

Right up to ethylene glycol, charcoal lighter fluid and methanol.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 5:03 pm

Sterno!

ELF
ELF
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 5:10 pm

Don’t forget MEK .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:01 am
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:14 am

Don’t forget to meet at the SW corner on Friday at noon for FF.

ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:46 am

Probably 6 feet under .
Because I would rather die on my feet , than live on my knees .

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:59 am

I’m more hopeful. In 5 years I expect to be dead in a back alley with birds and maggots feasting on my rotting carcass.

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 1:53 pm

I’m down with that Bob . for you and/or me .

Phil
Phil
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 2:30 pm

If I’m ever told I only have 6 months to live, I’m moving into a metal sided trailer in central Oklahoma, and marrying big, fat, mean Indian woman. Those last 6 months will pass like an eternity.

ELF
ELF
  Phil
December 11, 2020 2:59 pm

I can’t quite wrap my head around that Phil ,
but it does make me laugh ! 🙂

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 5:06 pm

Have some ketchup about the remains. One never knows who might be out and about looking for a snack (of sorts.)

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:04 pm

comment image

Machinist
Machinist
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 3:09 pm

[youtube

ELF
ELF
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 5:11 pm

” I’m HERE ! Kill me , I’m HERE !”

Roger V Tranfaglia
Roger V Tranfaglia
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:24 pm

Leading the CHARGE!
And NOT my first one!!

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:02 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:00 pm

Nice broadsheet!

justsayin
justsayin
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:22 pm

Wonder what the front page looks like.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  justsayin
December 11, 2020 12:47 pm

Its always whats above the fold that matters most.

Suds
Suds
  MrLiberty
December 11, 2020 1:04 pm

Gives a whole new meaning to FINE print.

Gomer
Gomer
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:04 pm

I like to get my news at the crack of Dawn.

Why?
Why?
  Gomer
December 11, 2020 4:17 pm

How do know her name is Dawn?

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:26 pm

That’s news that’s fit to print!

Dave Huff
Dave Huff
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:34 pm

Does it come in a braille edition?

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 5:12 pm

Auntie is most surprised the none of the outside-of-the-box thinkers in the Commentariat have mentioned anything about the business, sports, food or even the comics section.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:02 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:05 pm

Santa, this year Bobby wants your elf.

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:30 pm

Hate to tell you Santa, but that fanny pack you’re wearing just don’t ‘cut it’.
But, Ms. Claus has aged well.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:02 am
Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:32 pm

There goes the coasts and D.C.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Cow Doctor
December 12, 2020 12:38 am

How come I can’t see your posts Cow Doctor?

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:03 am
Guy White
Guy White
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:42 am

Thanks. I’ll use that one.

And it helps to be really smart.

brian
brian
  Guy White
December 11, 2020 12:39 pm

You just have to be smarter than a communist soyboi… so no contest.

ELF
ELF
  Guy White
December 11, 2020 3:01 pm

As John Wayne once said ,
“Life is tough , but it’s tougher if you’re stupid “.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:03 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:09 pm

But how am I supposed to enjoy whisky if I’m dead?

Suds
Suds
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:40 pm

Have the undertaker use Crown Royal instead of formaldehyde.
-Heh…we have a new word for getting hammered…I got embalmed by Woodford Reserve & Sons.

Gomer
Gomer
  Suds
December 11, 2020 2:32 pm

Imbibed, imbalmed what’s the difference?

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 1:55 pm

I’m sure you’ll manage Bob . 🙂

Machinist
Machinist
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 3:34 pm

Embalming fluid?
Edited.
(Oops, should have read Suds’ response first.)

Dave Huff
Dave Huff
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 4:36 pm

Don’t die…..

justista
justista
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 7:33 pm

Don’t sweat it. You will still be able to vote for Democrats.
Now there’s an incentive to live for ya’

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:03 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:48 am

Yes it IS ! 🙂

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  ELF
December 11, 2020 4:15 pm

If all the other stalls are full, it certainly is as is the sink.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:04 am
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:15 am

Learning to crush a man’s balls early.

ELF
ELF
  TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 11:49 am

Those will be the only children he fathers .

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:10 pm

Any man who’s had children knows they seem to have the ability to land there every time.

Suds
Suds
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:41 pm
ELF
ELF
  Suds
December 11, 2020 1:58 pm

GOOD ! One last MORON being able to spread his defective
genetic code around the planet !

RW8399
RW8399
  Suds
December 11, 2020 3:17 pm

He’s training for his upcoming role in the movie “Testicles Of Fury.”

Roger V Tranfaglia
Roger V Tranfaglia
  Suds
December 11, 2020 3:35 pm

Shalon Monks ALSO go through a similar training!!!
Annddd what an X Navy Seal once told me, in regards to their BOOTCAMP. Its mind over matter, if YOU dont mind…It dont MATTER!!!

Suds
Suds
  Suds
December 11, 2020 3:35 pm

comment image

Machinist
Machinist
  Suds
December 11, 2020 3:41 pm

Chinese gender-transition treatment.

Dave Huff
Dave Huff
  Suds
December 11, 2020 4:38 pm

Truth is, he’s castrated…..

A Dolphin Hiding
A Dolphin Hiding
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 2:12 pm

Here to tell you all grandkids have the same talent.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:04 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:11 pm

Kitty treats.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:49 pm

Chinese gumball machine.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 7:17 pm

Wuhan style micro feed lot.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:04 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:50 am

Landing beacon for our Reptilian Overlords .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:05 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:12 pm

Out of both ends.

Suds
Suds
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 12:42 pm

Riiiight…we know it’s bad when our bodies start making noises similar to a coffee maker.

ELF
ELF
  Suds
December 11, 2020 2:00 pm

Yer killin’ me here Suds ! 🙂

Machinist
Machinist
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 3:59 pm

…and both bed occupants.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:06 am
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:16 am

Choking the chicken, monkey style

ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:51 am

Now why does that remind me of Joe Biden ?

Suds
Suds
  ELF
December 11, 2020 2:17 pm

comment image

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:13 pm

That’s not my monkey. How irresponsible do you think I am? My monkey’s at home looking after my baby niece.

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:01 pm

So, Harris and a chicken walk into a bar…

ELF
ELF
  Machinist
December 11, 2020 5:16 pm

And the bartender said ” Get The Fuck Out !”

Dave Huff
Dave Huff
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:39 pm

Joe and Kamala….

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:09 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:16 pm

Basically what I told my teenager boys whenever they went out. I only told my daughter the first part.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:09 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:25 pm

I know a lot of stupid old geezers. One of the main problems with our civilization is even the weak and stupid can survive and reproduce. I wrote this in a novel years ago:

Mankind has lost its way because evolution no longer operates on us. Science and society protect us all, including those who should’ve never had the chance to pass on their inferior genes and those just taking up valuable resources who’ve outlived any usefulness. Do you know what the answer is? Lions. Yup, lions and tigers and bears, oh, fuck. I’ve worked it all out. We get back to our roots, our evolutionary roots. Here’s my scheme. Every ten years, every person alive has to go to Africa, where we all started, and prove he has what it takes to pass along his genes or to deserve the resources he gets. During the visit, each person is set out on the plain in a specially designed reserve. There’d be maybe a hundred of them in different countries down there. In the reserves are our main predators of days gone by: lions, tigers, jaguars, crocodiles, and other dangerous things like hippos, rhinos, snakes. You get the idea. With nothing more than his wits, each person has to make it through the reserve, maybe fifty miles or so . . . It’s a perfect plan for mankind’s future, don’t you think? All the old pricks would be lion shit. We could televise it. It’d be hilarious to see some ninety-year-old geezer hobbling away with his walker as a lion slams into him, and knocks him flying thirty feet, then tears off a hunk of his wrinkly ass. The disabled are fucked. I can see a blind guy ornamenting a rhino horn. Big fat fucks would waddle, and huff and puff, and then keep a croc satisfied for a year. The stupid are likely to get picked off, too, because they’re stupid. Men would help the pretty women more than the hideous ones, so the ugly’s dominance will at last come to an end. What we’re left with is a human race where the stronger, faster, healthier, smarter, and prettier survive to procreate, and all the losers expire. It would be a healthy dose of reality for us self-centered human beings to learn that, in the end, all we really are is food.

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 2:07 pm

I’ve been saying much the same thing , myself , for the last 30 years Bob .
We were better off 200 years ago .
If you were STOOOPID , the bears got you , or the mountain lions or the
rattle snakes or the Indians , or you starved , etc.
Either way , you didn’t pass on your piss poor genetic code !
NOWADAYS , we coddle these MORONS . And look at what we have .

Dave Huff
Dave Huff
  ELF
December 11, 2020 4:41 pm

Leftists?

Nocte_volens
Nocte_volens
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 4:29 pm

Beautiful…it brought a tear to my eye.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 5:20 pm

“… every person alive has to go to Africa, where we all started, and prove he has what it takes to pass along his genes or to deserve the resources he gets.”
– Bob

No need to travel so far to be the Naked Prey; one need only travel to Chicongo or Detroit. Philthydelphia? E. St Louis?

Mix
Mix
  Auntie Kriest
December 11, 2020 10:15 pm

Detroit?comment imagecomment image

Phil
Phil
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 5:32 pm

The problem is that the US gene pool doesn’t have a filter on it.

KaD
KaD
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 7:29 pm

We didn’t all start in Africa. From what I’ve read civilization started in a few places almost simultaneously, another being the area between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:09 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:52 am

A BIG YEP to that !

Machinist
Machinist
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:04 pm

Too realistic for jokes.

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:10 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:26 pm

Ladies, this is what all us men think about ourselves.

Roger V Tranfaglia
Roger V Tranfaglia
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 3:47 pm

OH! COME ON BOB!! The FLASH HOLE wasn’t THAT BIG!

ELF
ELF
  Roger V Tranfaglia
December 11, 2020 5:17 pm

Maybe it is , for Bob .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:10 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:53 am

Sums it up pretty well .

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 5:22 pm

COuld the CONgress yet install Cthulhu as president?

ELF
ELF
  Auntie Kriest
December 11, 2020 9:39 pm

Anything is possible .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:10 am
ELF
ELF
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:59 am

What most folks don’t know , is that Bill Gates belongs to a worldwide organization
that believes that if we don’t reduce the planet’s population by 3/4 ,
the earth will not survive .
This is not something new , these people have been around , plotting for
at least 20 years , maybe longer .
And of course , since “They” are the “Intelligencia” , they get to decide
who stays and who goes .

Roger V Tranfaglia
Roger V Tranfaglia
  ELF
December 11, 2020 3:51 pm

AT LEAST 60 YEARS!! Mr. Elf ! Say……………….since 1968………………………………
That’s about when I started PAYING ATTENTION to some certain things in life!

ELF
ELF
  Roger V Tranfaglia
December 11, 2020 5:24 pm

That may well be Bro . I guess I was paying attention to other things .
But thanks .
Friends and relatives don’t want to hear from me . They think I’m
some kind of conspiracy theorist or whacko .
( I don’t believe in little green men with big eyes , or
Reptilian Overlords )
But just because you’re paranoid , doesn’t mean they are NOT out to get you .

Long Time Lurker
Long Time Lurker
  ELF
December 11, 2020 5:43 pm

200+ years. Just accelerated massively post WWII. (((They))) had a new super power tool to play with

Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:32 pm

Well it’s possible they’re all idiots, but more two other possibilities are more likely. Let’s have a vote!

Thumbs up: they want to make billions on the vaccines, which probably aren’t harmful.
Thumbs down: they want to make billions and poison us.

ELF
ELF
  Bob P
December 11, 2020 3:04 pm

Either way Bob , they’re BASTARDS !

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  ELF
December 11, 2020 5:23 pm

Evil Fuckers, ELF. THEY ARE DEMONS.

ELF
ELF
  Auntie Kriest
December 11, 2020 9:41 pm

You are entirely correct ! I guess I was just trying to soft peddle it .

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:11 am
Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:11 am
Ken31
Ken31
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 3:42 pm

And still people will have police show up and they will surrender their weapons in their own homes, even though it has no force or law, only color of law. They are stupid enough to think that if they work through the system all will end well.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 4:23 pm

I don’t mind giving them my ammunition, one round at a time.

ELF
ELF
  TN Patriot
December 11, 2020 5:25 pm

A man after my own heart !

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:11 am
Suds...
Suds...
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:46 pm

…can appreciate this message, and approves heartily, Doc!

Cow Doctor
Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 11:12 am
Bob P
Bob P
  Cow Doctor
December 11, 2020 12:37 pm

Well, first I don’t accept your premise, but if I absolutely had to I’d choose the accident.

RW8399
RW8399
  Cow Doctor
December 12, 2020 1:37 pm

What happened to all your posts? They were visible yesterday but not now?

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