Nightmare: Here Is The Democrats’ Complete Legislative Agenda For The Next 2 Years

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats have released a complete list of all their legislative goals for the next 2 years, and it’s worse than we imagined. America may not survive. Brace yourself and read through this confirmed list which we got straight from the Speaker’s office, and may God help us all.

The Impeach Trump Again Act – New law requiring Trump to be impeached every week for all of eternity.

The Inclusion and Justice Act – Requires everyone to bake cakes for gay weddings. It will also require everyone to be gay.

The Fairness Act – Will set the minimum wage to whatever Elon Musk makes per hour.

The John Act – New law requiring all men to sit down when they pee.

The Common Sense ‘Don’t Hate Kids’ Act – Will ban assault weapons and also the letter ‘A’ and ‘R’ and the number 15 so they can never be made again, and will confiscate all assault rifles to be melted down to make a statue of Ba’al.

The Greener New Deal – Just like the Green New Deal, but with more Communism. Will instantly enact full Communism across the country.

The Justice Act – Will add all registered Democrats to the Supreme Court, and empower women by creating “The Handmen’s Tale” where all men have to become pregnant and bear children.

The Kindness and Uniformity Act – Everyone’s pronouns must be tattooed to their foreheads. They must also shave their heads and wear only futuristic grey jumpsuits.

The Nutrition Act – Will limit each family to only one loaf of bread per week. Cannibalism now legal as long as you “eat the rich.” All foods must now contain a large dose of birth control.

The Insurrection Act 2 –  Will declare all unborn babies to be enemies of the state.

The No More Racist Founding Documents Act –  Will replace The Bill of Rights with The Bill of Lefts. Will also draft a new Declaration of Dependence.

The Hurt God Act – Legislation to try and hurt God. Trump tried to warn us.

The Omnibus Bill – Congressional raises, 100 Billion for Iran to make nuclear missiles, printing more money, and a new law requiring all children’s cartoons to have at least 382 gay characters.

The Democrats must be stopped! We would try to stop them, but all the voting machines are rigged so there’s not much use in that. We heard Trump has something up his sleeve though, so that looks promising.

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12 Comments
Mygirl....maybe
Mygirl....maybe
January 15, 2021 10:50 am

What was once irony and satire is now reality….

Machinist
Machinist
  Mygirl....maybe
January 15, 2021 11:05 am

Some might call it “daisy-chainier”.

m
m
January 15, 2021 10:59 am

The Hurt God Act – Legislation to try and hurt God. Trump tried to warn us.

Kudos to the Babylon Bee, there have some wise deep thinkers in their team.

overthecliff
overthecliff
January 15, 2021 11:06 am

BabylonBee please go back to satire which you did well. Stop publishing actual factual news.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
January 15, 2021 11:49 am

If I have to pick pronouns, I’m going with thy/thou/thine

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Iska Waran
January 15, 2021 1:27 pm

I choose President for my pronoun

Stucky
Stucky
January 15, 2021 12:26 pm

OK/ So, I printed this out and showed it to my mom. She said, “Are they really that crazy?”

Yes, mom, they are.

Maybe I’ll tell her it was satire. Maybe. Later. I like that she thinks Dems are idiots. Why spoil that?

Two if by sea. Three if from within thee.
Two if by sea. Three if from within thee.
  Stucky
January 15, 2021 1:05 pm

Very thoughtful Stuck

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Stucky
January 15, 2021 2:07 pm

How does one change the reality that dems are idiots? What would you do…show her their real agenda? Just as insane.

None Ya Biz
None Ya Biz
  Stucky
January 15, 2021 3:25 pm

Dammit Stucky! Don’t do that!

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
January 15, 2021 2:05 pm

Only 5% inaccurate…sadly.

Zulu Foxtrot Golf
Zulu Foxtrot Golf
January 15, 2021 7:07 pm

You kow these fuckers are taking all this satire and making it a fucked reality lmao. Strange days.