United Airlines Unveils New Environmentally Friendly Single-Engine Boeing 777

Via The Babylon Bee

DENVER, CO—United Airlines announced the arrival of their new, environmentally friendly single-engine Boeing 777 at a press conference Tuesday. This comes after a successful test flight on Saturday at Denver International.

United said the new airliner, dubbed the “777 Eco,” will be twice as energy efficient, due to having 50% fewer engines. In addition to lower carbon emissions, the plane will also provide a much quieter ride for passengers seated on the right side of the cabin.

“Turns out you really only need one engine to fly these puppies,” said a United spokesperson. “After a short test flight around Denver and an exciting fireworks show, we are proud to announce the brand-new Boeing 777 Eco!”

The spokesperson claimed previous reports that a normal airliner had suffered engine damage were false. “There was no emergency– this was all planned in advance,” she noted. “We wanted to illustrate that the 777 Eco is symbolically blowing up the concept of twin-engine airliners and that we’re sprinkling the city with the symbolic shrapnel of lower emissions!”

Officials said safety was a top priority when designing their new plane, and that the single-engine design shouldn’t be of concern to passengers. “These jet engines are pretty safe,” the spokesperson noted. “And with one less engine, that’s one less thing that can blow up! Win-win!”

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13 Comments
Georges S
Georges S
February 25, 2021 12:54 pm

The new 777 is just as scary as DIA.

john
john
  Georges S
February 25, 2021 12:58 pm

Can land on 1 engine.

Georges S
Georges S
  john
February 25, 2021 1:33 pm

And he did… done some damage to some poor Denverites but less than HickenLooter and his gang

Ken31
Ken31
  john
February 25, 2021 10:18 pm

Guess there might be some nuance by what is meant by “land”.

janky
janky
February 25, 2021 12:56 pm

donnie darko abides.

john
john
February 25, 2021 12:57 pm

But….needs 2 engines to leave the runway,

Georges S
Georges S
  john
February 25, 2021 12:59 pm

There are two engines to take off, one in the car in front and the other on the plane. 1+1=2

Mushroom Cloud
Mushroom Cloud
February 25, 2021 1:29 pm

The F-35 only needs one engine to “fly”. Is there any way to turn those into ultra fuel efficient passenger jets cuz rumor has it they don’t work for anything the military would use them for…

Georges S
Georges S
  Mushroom Cloud
February 25, 2021 1:34 pm

They could be sold on special to the iranians.

Ken31
Ken31
  Georges S
February 25, 2021 10:20 pm

It is only a matter of time before the MIC sells weapons to the enemies they create.

Neuday
Neuday
February 25, 2021 4:09 pm

Boeing should mount a few wind turbines on top of the fuselage to power the cabin.

Ken31
Ken31
  Neuday
February 25, 2021 10:22 pm

Why not just make the whole plane solar powered? It should be safe if it stays above the clouds. Simple. The only thing we have to do to make it work is mandate it by 2025.

Bow
Bow
February 25, 2021 5:27 pm

I laughed. Twice

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