Media Relieved To Be Covering The Good Kind Of Riots Again

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—Media organizations across the country announced today they are relieved to be covering the good kind of riots again, now that people are looting Targets for justice again instead of protesting their government.

“It was pretty rough there for a while,” said Rachel Maddow. “We had to cover the dark days of the violent insurrection. But now that people are stealing Nikes to protest racial injustice, we can return to feel-good reporting about the good riots that are happening.”

“It’s just the Spring of Love around here!” she added happily.

Many journalists are calling this the shot of positivity the nation really needed in the aftermath of the worst days in our country’s history following the riot at the Capitol. Finally, they say, the nation has remembered what protests are for: stealing stuff and burning things down before any facts have come in.

“I was pretty depressed having to cover the worst riots our nation has ever seen,” said Brian Stelter as he wiped tears from his eyes on his Sunday program. “We can finally get back to what the people want: puff pieces minimizing the violence and destruction wrought by protests that we agree with.”

“But don’t worry — we will continue to watch Fox News and yell at it, just for you.”

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11 Comments
Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
April 13, 2021 9:06 pm

^^^^

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Glock-N-Load
April 14, 2021 1:44 am

Unfortunately there will never be white cohesion because apparently half of our race are horrified that they are actually white and are doing everything they can to demonize their own race.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
April 14, 2021 2:09 am

Triage.

Mike Turner
Mike Turner
  Anonymous
April 14, 2021 8:06 pm

Just like Germany has done, post WWII

overthecliff
overthecliff
April 13, 2021 9:33 pm

Rayciss AP and Glock. This is mostly peaceful midnight shopping.

Anonymous
Anonymous
April 13, 2021 9:39 pm

Not sure whether to laugh or cry when hearing the story of the congresscrook from MI who is whining about having to seek treatment for PTSD as a result of his January 6 experience. Would not surprise anyone to find out he was over in Baltimore that day playing with the hookers while over at the Capitol it mostly looked like a normal day with groups of tourists milling around.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
April 13, 2021 11:16 pm

Wait until he has a run-in with serious people who know the score.

I wonder if he’ll shit himself before or after they hang him.

I’d bet on before.

Anonymous
Anonymous
April 13, 2021 11:14 pm

Wait. Are they ‘covering’ the riots or ‘provoking’ the riots?

More the latter, I’d say.

Leah
Leah
April 13, 2021 11:16 pm

Next term added to the dictionary is “Peaceful Riots”. The illusion will be cities burning down.

Mike Turner
Mike Turner
April 14, 2021 8:05 pm

You ‘can’ have it in the barrel of a gun.

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