Do You Wear Depends?

Guest Post by Eric Peters

If you’re not physically sick and find yourself being pestered by someone who is mentally sick about your “failure” to wear a “mask” to “stop the spread” of a physical illness you haven’t got – but which they worry you might have – ask them a question in reply:

Are you wearing your Depends?

These being the adult diapers designed to protect the incontinent from spreading . . . something else.

They will probably draw themselves up indignantly and say no – of course not. Why would they? They have no need for Diapers as they are in control of their bladder – and bowels. It would be absurd for them to wear a Diaper and more than that, degrading – because of the implication they might piss their pants or shit themselves, otherwise.

Exactly so – as regards the facial equivalent of the same thing.

To insist that someone who isn’t sick must wear a Face Diaper because it is possible he might be sick is to treat him as if he is sick. Which is the same as saying he is disease-ridden, someone who presents a threat to anyone nearby, if he doesn’t wear a “protective” device.

Is this not also degrading?

Some will say it is noble – because it is a sign of caring. You are showing – literally – that you take other people’s health seriously and are being respectful, etc. But this is only a valid argument if, in fact, there is a threat to other people’s health arising from your not wearing the “protective” device.

If that is not the case, then the wearing is cruel as well as degrading.

It is cruel because it perpetuates a dangerous lie. Several of them. The first being the one that insists a physically healthy person can get other people sick. It is simply not true – as a matter of straightforward logic and English, of the plain meaning of words.

The assertion that someone might be sick is an entirely different thing – both in terms of logic and of English. It is a possibility – not an actuality (by definition; else “might” would not apply).

Does an assertion of possibility impose a moral obligation on the object of the assertion to act in some way or to submit in some way solely on the basis of the assertion of possibility?

If it does, then on the same basis, one could assert that since someone might lose control of their bladder or bowels they ought to wear Depends – even if they are continent; even if they have given no reason to substantiate an assertion of worry that they may piss their pants or shit themselves.

Why is the same assertion regarding Face Diapers any less ridiculous? Any less degrading?

But 500,000 people have died!

Except they haven’t actually  – at least, not of the ‘Rona. That’s another lie.

And at least that many probably shit themselves last year, too. And shit is dangerous as well as disgusting. It carries disease and can spread disease. It probably represents at least as much a threat to the average healthy person as the 0.0-something percent threat of death posed by “the virus.”

Doesn’t the public have a right to be “protected” against the risk of the Undiapered? Why is that asserted risk ok?

Don’t you care about (insert here)….?

The second lie that is enabled by accepting the Diapering of Faces is that they are palliative as regards viruses. Depends actually work – because urine and feces are substantial enough to be contained by cloth.

Viral particles aren’t. If this virus were not such a minor threat to healthy people – who typically have a 99.8-something percent chance of not dying from it if they even get sick from it, assuming they even get it in the first place – then it would be an outrage to give them the false sense of security the purveyors of facial cloth-wearing have perpetuated. It is they who do not “take the virus seriously” – not the people who are smart enough to know that serious equipment is necessary to prevent the spread of viruses and are honest enough not to pretend otherwise.

The third lie is that this virus is generally dangerous. It is known that it’s not. Insisting that children and young adults who have almost zero chance of dying from ‘Rona – and healthy adults who have a fractionally higher, but also almost-nonexistent risk of dying from the ‘Rona – have the same risk of dying as morbidly obese 80-year-olds with diabetes and COPD is the worst sort of fear-mongering.

Forcing Diapers on everyone’s face is just the same as forcing everyone to wear Depends.

It’s as ridiculous as it is despicable.

Tell the next Face-Diaperer who asks about your “mask” precisely that – after asking him about his Depends.

He’ll probably soil his pants.

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8 Comments
Melty
Melty
April 18, 2021 4:49 pm

No mandates here in Texas. Businesses can still require it though. Although, I will walk out if anyone says a word about not having one on. But still it amazes me the people still wearing the stupid shit on their face even when not required. I’s say 90% still wearing the nasty things. Sheep are still sheeping. The ones that amaze me are the young people seem to be the easiest to influence to go along. Their public school indoctrination sure has made them good little conformists.

scott henson
scott henson
  Melty
April 18, 2021 7:04 pm

All these sheep will LOVE their servitude! Doesn’t bode well for the future of the rest of us!

Frothy
Frothy
April 18, 2021 5:35 pm

To answer the title question, “Do you wear Depends?”

Answer: No, but with the frequency of urination demands as the 6th decade on this planet has commenced,
I find myself strongly considering strapping a pair on, at the beginning of a long road trip, especially if I’m a passenger, and the driver is a cold hearted young prick who can’t sympathize.

Now, if I’m driving the bus, any swinging dicks in my chauffeur party are just going to have to deal with frequent stops, whether they can sympathize with high PSA numbers, or not.

Hold on a minute… be right back.

There. All better now.
I had to tap a kidney.
Again.
Damn.
Oldster’s observations:

Never pass a rest area or room without considering a brief visit, even if not urgent.

Never trust that it’s just gas, or things could get ugly very quickly.

Start having empathy for old timers, cuz your day is coming, if they’re not already here.

Can I get an Amen?

Chinablue
Chinablue
April 18, 2021 6:20 pm

r/ConservativeMemes – Depends

country boy
country boy
April 18, 2021 6:47 pm

It Depends!

Fred
Fred
April 19, 2021 1:19 pm
James the Deplorable Wanderer
James the Deplorable Wanderer
April 19, 2021 9:29 pm

After two or three bouts with food poisoning this year, I have invested in a pack of “paper panties” as I call them – to wear to bed when ill or recently ill. It’s easier to clean yourself and pajamas then the whole sheet set / covers / comforters!
They came in handy when my eldest developed a similar malady – and she wasn’t too proud to put on a “male pattern” pair !