Jurors To Read Their Final Wills Before Giving Verdict

Via The Babylon Bee

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—After hours of sequestered deliberation, the jury in the Derek Chauvin trial has reached a decision. Before that, however, they will be each reading their last wills to ensure their affairs are in order before giving the verdict.

“Yeah, we reached a verdict pretty quickly, but most of our time deliberating was actually spent on LegalZoom getting our affairs in order,” said one nervous juror who was decked out in Kevlar and a fireproof hazmat suit. “We will be reading our wills aloud so there will be witnesses just in case the peaceful protestors murder us all.”

Experts are saying the jury will be fair and impartial in spite of the fact that a sitting U.S. congresswoman called for riots, the sitting President called for a “guilty” verdict, and there are 1000 pitchfork and torch-wielding rioters right outside the doors.

Biden has sent a National Guard helicopter to pick up the jurists at the courthouse and bring them to safety– as long as they reach his preferred verdict.

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Joe Blow
Joe Blow

Helicopter bribe. Nice touch.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty

No election is ever going to fix the problems with this country and that demographic.

Just Thinking
Just Thinking

I really wish that was satire.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Guilty. Gee I’m shocked. Biden said that the jury needed to reach the “right” verdict. Was that the right one Joe? I was up for some serious looting and burning. Well I guess I’ll have to wait for the next excuse.

Quiet Mike

As with the OJ trial this rendered verdict has nothing to do w/ guilt or innocence. It concerns itself only w/ a feral, savage black race and a Nation of frightened white people. In this respect, the latter deserve to lose their freedoms.

El Zorro
El Zorro

They crucified that poor fool to appease the black masses…

I truly feel sorry for all LEO’S going fiward… damned if you do and dammed if you don’t.

This is only going to EMBOLDEN feral blacks and thugs of all races going forward…

And I’m not being racist… I’m Latino, and I telling it like it is…

Stay safe out there people.

falconflight
falconflight

Don’t forget their white Marxist masters, from top to bottom.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Anyone who chooses to be a cop these days is asking for it. They will be thrown under the bus at the drop of a hat.

Freddy Uranus
Freddy Uranus

12 jurors scared shitless.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty

And we all know that quality and fair “justice” results from that kind of situation. LOL

Southern Sage
Southern Sage

A verdict of sorts has been rendered in the case of the hapless and most unfortunate Officer Chauvin. It was, of course, a foregone conclusion that he would be convicted of something. That 12 men and women, good and true, were despicable enough to find him guilty on all counts is one more ominous step on the road to the hell of civil war. About what I expected from a Minnesota jury, of course. These are the same imbeciles who invited a wave of Somali savages to come and live among them. Frankly, when all of this broke I was astonished to learn that so many blacks had squatted down in Cheese Country. It is rather cold up there, isn’t it? Of course they migrated to take advantage of the well-meaning, kind, gullible Minnesotans. Well, those good folks have gotten what they deserve, and good and hard it has been. Remember that when you laugh at Southern rednecks and cheer the toppling of Confederate monuments.
The case itself is unremarkable, except for the inexplicable stupidity of Chauvin to sit there for nine minutes with this felon under his knee, in full view of a crowd. The police in the United States were created to deal with strange and violent Negroes, hobos, suspicious drifters, belligerent drunks and the occasional bank robber. At one time it was clearly understood that it was their duty to stand between the decent, law-abiding population and the unwashed criminal and disorderly element that has always been a part of American life. Oh, how things have changed. A simpering sheriff in Richland County, South Carolina, Leon Lott, now arrests a senior army NCO for quite properly confronting a demented black wandering around in front of his house and sticking his paw down the pants of one of the neighborhood ladies. The collapse of the police in this country, while not total yet, is well-advanced. An idiot named Linsky, supposedly a high muckety muck in the Boston police force, was just on TV spewing a stream of blather. claiming the Chauvin verdict would help us “heal” and bring “unity’. The mind reels. That such an idiot can be handed a badge and a gun is reason enough for a sane man to run off to a monastery.
George Floyd was a no-good, shiftless, worthless piece of black trash. He had many priors and God alone knows how many crimes he was not arrested for. He was precisely the type of man the police are supposed to frog march off to the county jail. That he was a hulking, drugged up giant who towered over the girlie man cops trying to arrest him is, I suppose, besides the point.
The real significance of this sordid little miscarriage of justice is that it will some day be counted as a milestone on our road to Calvary.
The first civil war was preceded by a host of incidents that eventually led to the firing of Confederate cannon in Charleston Harbor. There were literally hundreds of violent episodes, North and South. Bloody Kansas and the John Brown raid are the ones we remember now but there were many, many others. Each one angered and embittered people on both sides of the Mason-Dixon line until finally there was no more to talk about.
The poor judge in this farce of a trial understood this and his frustration and even rage with the unspeakable Maxine Waters was crystal clear. He knew he was presiding over another chapter in the corruption of the American legal system but his hands were tied and he knew it. That Biden had the craven gall to “pray for a (guilty) verdict merely compounds a spectacle that will disgust any of us who still have an ounce of common decency.
Our police will note well what this means. Hands off black criminals. The blacks know it, too.
Stand to repel for boarders, as they used to say in the age of sail. They are coming.

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