WASHINGTON, D.C.—A spokesman for the FDA announced Friday that it was lifting the pause on the Johnson and Johnson COVID vaccine after the company reformulated the product into a trademarked No More Clots™ formula. Shares of the company jumped 5% after the announcement.
“We are pleased to announce that Johnson and Johnson’s new vaccine formula has passed all of the rigorous safety testing we could do in three days,” an FDA spokesman said. “Plus, it says ‘no more clots’ right there in the name! What could possibly go wrong?”
A spokeswoman for Johnson and Johnson said the company worked extensively with scientists in their baby shampoo division to make sure the new COVID vaccine was safe. “Our new No More Clots™ formula is as gentle to your platelets as pure water,” she said.
“It’s also 100% soap-free, dermatologist-tested, and hypoallergenic.”
The spokeswoman noted that the vaccine was tested extensively by the company’s herd of koala bears, which confirmed that the vaccine not only eliminates the risk of deadly blood clots, but also made their hair softer, shiner, and more manageable, all while maintaining a fresh smell.
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https://www.redbubble.com/i/pin/Auntie-VAX-anti-vax-parody-by-DaveyCopeland/61207927.NP9QY
It’s working all right- to kill you.
Only white supremacist Trump supporters would doubt the efficacy of a pharmaceutical experimental gene therapy immune from any lawsuits. Don’t you trust your government, don’t you trust your doctor…
Menstrual bleeding in girls one year old after the vaccine: https://banthis.tv/watch?id=608ad12a6a917502cd48fee1
https://t.me/somebitchiknowchat/7194
Hear attacks in men under age 30: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1387409305574514694.html
Since there are no “vaccines” for a bioweapon like Covid 19, and since there are no “vaccines” for a Corona Cold virus, like Covid 19, why on earth would anyone take the Trump/Gates Warpspeed experimental drug, that is called a “vaccine”? Improve your health the natural way.
Go here to learn more => https://klump.terrywilson3.net/2020/12/16/how-to-protect-your-immune-system-from-the-onslaught-of-chronic-fear/uncategorized/
Close but no cigar, babylon bee editors. It’s to be no more clods.