Latest Science Now Says We All Must Wear Masks To Prevent Global Warming

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—A new study from very credible scientists has revealed that science wants everyone to continue to wear masks for the foreseeable future. This is due to brand new evidence from real science that masks actually prevent global warming.

“The best thing we can do to slow the spread of climate change and sea-level rise is to wear a mask,” said Dr. Antonio Grouci, the newly appointed head of the EPA. “You breathe out deadly CO2 all day and that makes the planet sad. If there’s a chance masks could catch even one CO2 particle and prevent it from entering the atmosphere, we must take that precaution.”

CNN then breathlessly reported that masks must now be worn by all people who don’t want to die in a cataclysmic flood or a killer volcano due to climate change.

Several states are also issuing lockdown orders to prevent people from going outside and polluting the atmosphere with their existence.

Several liberals who were interviewed said they were just happy to have a scientific reason to wear a mask again.

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10 Comments
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
May 18, 2021 1:16 pm

I wish the Bee would quit giving them ideas.

Lee Harvey Griswald
Lee Harvey Griswald
May 18, 2021 1:49 pm

Corks or tubes to a gas cylinder up our assholes too? Shhhh… but you know that’s next.

Tilt
Tilt
  Lee Harvey Griswald
May 18, 2021 3:50 pm

I say screw those cork sucking gasholes.

Mygirl....maybe
Mygirl....maybe
  Tilt
May 18, 2021 6:47 pm

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'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug
  Mygirl....maybe
May 19, 2021 12:13 am

Why do all women secretly hate men?

BL
BL
May 18, 2021 2:14 pm

I fully support that all liberals should wear double or triple masks as they are so full of hot air it is causing the polar ice caps to melt which will cause massive flooding worldwide. We must save humanity by covering the liberal pie hole. Thank you.

overthecliff
overthecliff
May 18, 2021 4:02 pm

Well if the B says it . Where do I get my mask?

Otis D
Otis D
May 18, 2021 4:12 pm

This is basically … another version of sacrificing virgins by throwing them in the volcano.

falconflight
falconflight
May 18, 2021 5:03 pm

I wish the BB would write a story bout Texas conservativism. Whadda hoot!
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https://www.zerohedge.com/political/texas-lawmakers-propose-annual-tax-tesla-owners

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 18, 2021 6:36 pm

It’s plastic bags they need to wear, not masks.

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Remember, tight around the neck, or the planet dies.