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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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That’s just wrong
Wifey was a caregiver for a sweet old lady when we first moved to the Midwest. 4 adult children. Nala , Alan, Lana, and Katherine. I did point out that Katherine dodged a bullet there 🤣
Jason Maurer’s dog…
Then they started blubbering.
Then they started spouting off…
Then they beached themselves(fell off the bar stool) and died a horrific death as they couldn’t right themselves and dehydrated on the floor and no one came to their rescue.
What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?
Banned from Seaworld
How did you find that out??
I don’t even know how these comments surfaced.
These kind of ideas should be beached in more positive and inclusive world.
Such a joker, that Ahab
I don’t remember anything after I said that, until I woke up in the hospital 3 days later…
…and one for Joe.
I just have a welcome mat that says, “Fuck off.”
I liked the mat that said “Like a good neighbor, stay over there.”
Mine says “Get A Warrant”
…and bring body bags for your team.
State Farm says that one.
I used to have a door mat that read Scram. A politician running for office said to me, when I opened the door, Hello Mr. Scram. I shook my head and shut the door.
Go Away doormat
Sadly, so so true.
Okay, let’s play
That was great! Now can you do it naked?
Balancing on Bob’s hips?
Please, Santa, bring me one for Christmas
Santa: Ho Ho Ho!! One archery set for Mikey.
She can pull my shaft anytime
Where’s my electric broomstick?
My immediate reaction to anyone who insists I get the jab is to suggest he should drop dead, but in this case, never mind.
They all just seem so … sanctimonious.
Oh well.
Same as it ever was.
You’re a funny man Bob
Key ingredient Thimerosal, which is 50% mercury and waaaaayyyyyy over the limit for your body.
Nip nap.
Wonder how he explained that stain to his mother.
Or his girlfriend…
Fucken shit bag deserves it for wasting an In-N-Out shake. Fucken ingrate.
I don’t understand the fascination with In-n-Out. They suck. In Texas, we eat Whataburger or Braum’s. That’s the shit, dude.
“Looks like ya blew a seal!”
“Nah, just a shake”
Pfizer Champagne keeps coming back on you.
Dim Yuk learns about the pain in champagne.
I’ll teach you you can’t just walk away from your responsibility to get the vaccine!
Yeah.
Pretty much.
Born 1960 to 1980; wouldn’t be looking at a phone and would have cleared the door with no issue.
Swing and a miss!
Looks like this swan is smarter than the humans in the UK…
Hey, Leroy, your welfare is cut off. What’re ya gonna do?
“I’m a gonna end it in this sinkhole!”
“Hey, that’s mine, you little wanker!” said the leftist.
As he drop kicks the child from the wading pool.
Go get Dad a beer!
It was then that the Secret Service knew they had to get Joe out of there and back into the basement.
And the faceplants begin!
My anticipation is unsatiated!
That’s the face my wife made last time I tried to pleasure her. And it really was the last time.
It looks like you punched her in the gut…
I thought that was part of foreplay.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“That’s not what I meant when I said we were now swingers, baby.”
The kind of girl who drags you down with her.
She has a pretty good muay thai clinch though lol.
Marriage material.
Imagine that on in the sack….
John Cornell, a despicable white man, was fired from the DMV today after flunking Shanice Black in her driver’s test because she is a person of colour.
…but Shanice could vertical park.
Vega had the right bolt configuration to swap out the motor for a much larger engine. I think my cousin put a 440 or some nonsense in his. We flipped it doing the same burn outs. My first time being upside down in a car.
Bill Grumpy Jenkins
There will be no hit and run for that person.
Ewe are a dumbass.
Lamb flop
Never get the wool out of the Polaris…
F’ing genius, boys(?)
what’s the other crap that fell out?
Looks great kid!
Young black boy awarded $100,000 after ruining his afro with a white man’s invention.
Cultural appropriation of skinheads..
The shirt was the “giveaway”.
no wonder why we don’t expect them to learn to read, write, and do maff.
No face, but still chumped.
Trashed
Yes, he’s a moron, but no, he doesn’t merit a Darwin Award. Now, if he were holding an alligator up for a selfie. . .
Alcohol may have been involved…
Damn! I want to do that every day.
This is only funny because you know the guy who drives that loves it more than his girlfriend.
Oh no, it’s funny for lots of reasons
I love my truck more than my girlfriend.
you must be a native american.
Chief Silverado
Hey, I got my wish.
Not me.
I want the faceplant.
And I want it NOW!
Fuck is wrong with her tongue?
In my dreams I’m bouncing between her funbags.
Then she does that surprised look with the open mouth…
And faceplant!
That’s what I’m talking about!
With an added roadrash bonus.
Why do I think this started with “hold my beer”?
back blast area NOT clear.
Why ophthalmologists make the big bucks.
Functions as intended
What a jackass
More of a jacklessass if you ask me.
Lucky not to lose a finger…
I WAS ASTOUNDED many years ago that my sons teen age pals were clueless on how to change a tire that was flat. Now that is true for the entirety of the population.
Especially the ones that cannot name a country that joins to the USA.
My 24 year old daughter and 17 year old son have been able to change tires since they got their first car. There are still some dads out there teaching the basics.
Fuck you, Dan. Ava can change her’s quicker
LOL! Time for a contest!
She and I won the Nascar pitcrew challenge at Grapefest 3 years ago. Made her change a tire and her oil when she got her truck 2 months ago.
You are no father if you aren’t teaching these basic skills to your children, but FAR
more important are the morals and patriotism you must teach them about this truly unique country and culture.
And you are less of a father if you aren’t buying them guns and training them
in how to use them. Tactically against enemies, and survivability in getting food.
Men have been charged with teaching their children these vital skills since the beginning of time. Don’t break the chain.
Me and Dan are right there with you on that, CA
Israel is the one that is joined to the US at the genitals….right?
Pole to Hole, so to speak.
Who needs men?
When you have a cellphone……and vibrate mode.
Effeminate democrat men.
I’m impressed with his finger strength in pulling the wheel without jacking up the car.
Rolled off the jack
Be glad that these incel kevins and stacy karens are self-exterminating with the “grim reaper” jabs and this shit will hopefully become a distant memory. Just say’in
OH, here’s his jack…
Could there be a better GIF PIC illustrating why people are still wearing masks?
Federal employees at work?
I had a high school history teacher who would have an entire class sneak out and the next class sneak in while you were sleeping (at the end of the period). Gotta tell you it’s weird as hell to fall asleep in one class and wake up in another.
Then I explained to her father I broke up with her after she sucked my meat then spit it out, and for some reason he went nuts and punched me!
She didn’t work on the gag reflex suppression.
Too bad, so sad.
lends a whole new meaning to “suck’in the meat”
Geez……didn’t see that one coming.
“Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world”
gotta learn where they break…
See the ripple coming out? It wasn’t a break wave but colliding waves.
Much later, George discovered he could just lift one leg over the vehicle and dismount from the side…
And faced into the handlebars.
That’s gonna leave a mark.
Take the car out of park first, moron
At least he had a safety jacket on
Like those old slapstick firehose comedies..
Staged
Dudes like Ninja!
Who the fuck has lime green wheels?
Messican soibois. That’s who!!!
Russians
What’d she say?
Don’t know; I don’t read tits.
Not sure what it really means, but I know how I read it!
‘Watch ’em bounce”
Braille is the only way I know how to read them.
I do.
They all say basically the same thing…”eat me”
Dads and babies get the exact same message.
Here, Bob, borrow my translator………..
Too cheeky?
Looks complicated…
THIS is cheeky.
Even their dogs are smarter than we are.
Baby, you drive a while so mommy can check social media…
Meanwhile, back at f.f.